Ubisoft Sellout - Bankruptcy Speedrun Any% Thread

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So ubisoft is going to keep doubling down on woke progtard propaganda in their games huh? Can't wait for condescending girl bitch boss Grim to put down Sam and put him on the bench to show him how it's really done by dropping in around the world alone to defeat every terrorist organization and save the world with nothing but night vision and a snub nose in the remake.
 
Hermiöne Granger said:
Another day another fuck up, Prince of Persia Sands of Time alleged leaked image vs original. Farah is now a girl-boss.


thegamepost.com
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Ubisoft learns nothing. Makes Farah into a “we don’t need no man” girl-boss. They are still thinking this will somehow reach a wider modern audience.

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Another good memory ruined by modern-audience Ubisoft BS

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moocow said:
"There is no longer a need to protect her." So why exactly am I playing?
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OJ Simpson said:
So ubisoft is going to keep doubling down on woke progtard propaganda in their games huh? Can't wait for condescending girl bitch boss Grim to put down Sam and put him on the bench to show him how it's really done by dropping in around the world alone to defeat every terrorist organization and save the world with nothing but night vision and a snub nose in the remake.
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I think you guys have the wrong idea.
"The presentation appears to stress that there will no longer be a requirement to save Farah during battles, suggesting that she should be able to take of herself now." (link)
That part doesn't mean "they made her a girlboss" or "the game won't be worth playing", all it means is "there won't be a game-over if she dies."

ubisoft.jpg
This is the part that means they made her a girlboss and the game won't be worth playing.
 
So, what, the jeets working on this game are taking so long because they are too busy shitting on it? Things got so bad that the fumes started melting both the Prince and Farah, now they look hideous.
With any luck, Ubisoft will actually go bankrupt or Tencent will buy out the entire company and cancel this piece of shit before this sees the light of day. There is a non-zero chance either will happen.
 
30+GameOvers said:
Can't wait for this piece of shit to fail, it's clear nobody from the devs to management actually knows what they're doing.
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It's astounding they're still up to their usual shit despite the whole company tethering on the edge of collapse, with Tencent circling them like a shark.

A sane company led by sane people would lock the fuck in and do everything in their power to give costumers what they want.
 
regalterry said:
It's astounding they're still up to their usual shit despite the whole company tethering on the edge of collapse, with Tencent circling them like a shark.

A sane company led by sane people would lock the fuck in and do everything in their power to give costumers what they want.
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At this point it's fucking obvious to everyone the "modern audience" either doesn't buy games or just doesn't fucking exist. The problem with a company like ubisoft is that they take 5+ years to make a game so by the time they've finally figured out what doesn't sell, they're halfway through a bunch of projects already so they can either:

1. Cancel everything and then have nothing to release for 5-7 years
2. Re-work everything, delaying it all by 2-4 years
3. Shove the garbage out the door and hope the morons still running the departments will get their shit together for the next set of projects.
4. Cancel part of the shit, re-work part of the shit, and shove existing garbage out the door in the meantime.
5. Go entirely with the sunk cost fallacy and continue operating as-is

The trouble of course for ubisoft is that #4 is the correct answer but it's also something they should have figured out 3-4 fucking years ago already. #1 just isn't doable, and #2 isn't either with no revenue. Instead I think they've gone with either #3, or #5 and I don't think 3 is likely other than the chinese people yelling at them to make sure their next shit actually makes some money. It almost sounded like #2 was going to happen a couple years back, but it didn't and was just them allegedly ousting a bunch of sexual harassers(I don't believe that either, more like purging people who failed their purity tests).

Instead we've got Yves Guillemot and his retarded family still running the show, and showing they have no idea what the fuck they're doing, just like they've been doing for the past 15 years now. Their last big major hit was r6 siege, and that was a fucking fluke and even then failed at launch and only succeeded due to console sales after a re-work of the game back in 2015. Far Cry 3 was 2012, and was again a fluke due to the marketing with that one actor who they almost didn't even hire. And then AC Black Flag in 2013 was one of the last AC games people actually seemed to like.

What do we have to look forward to from this company? A mobile version of The Division? The sands of time remake that's been in development hell for a decade? AC Hexe? The Division 3? Beyond Good and Evil 2 that's been in development since what 2007? Some random Heroes of Might and Magic shit? No one gives a fuck about any of this anymore.
 
p1138 said:
Some random Heroes of Might and Magic shit?
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The hilarious part is that they've handed over the title to Hooded Horse, so they don't even have that.

The main issue with them shoving shit out the door is that it kills all their IPs. A popular franchise can tank one or two duds, but if it's dud after dud, it just dies.

The Prince of Persia remake should have been quietly strangled, because releasing the jeetified abomination is just going to end up in disaster and ruin any chances for the IP to make a comeback.

But as you said, Ubisoft are doing too little, too late to save the company. Every project they have in the oven is an abortion in the making, and they lack the resources and talent to course-correct.
 
30+GameOvers said:
What's wrong with just giving us the designs from the original game?
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idk what it is about remakes that give the dev team the idea that they can just go carte blanche on the art style. Almost EVERY remake suffers from this shit. The Spyro Trilogy being the biggest example I can think of. It somehow looks WORSE than the original PS1, and honestly it's because there's WAY too much going on visually.

"HEY, THE DRAGONS FROM ARTISANS WORLD... THEY ARE DRESSED AS ARTISTS... YOU GET IT?! BECAUSE THE WORLD IS CALLED AAAAARRRRRRRRTTTTTTTISANS!!!"

When I think "remake", I'm not thinking a complete visual overhaul. The graphics getting an "upgrade" goes without saying with the newer technology, but it also doesn't need to be cranked up to 300%. I'm also not thinking that the story is getting a complete re-write because some smug fuck with authority found something offensive. I'm thinking that the mechanics and controls are being retweaked with newer and/or better improvements to gameplay... you know, the one thing that ACTUALLY matters. And yet that's the one thing these devs keep fucking up the most.
 
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