Trans Babies Are Hilarious. Observations from Aunty Kitty | by Kitty …
archived 24 Nov 2022 20:32:47 UTC
I’m a trans woman. I have my fourth Transiversary coming up soon. I have adjusted to my new hormone profile. That wasn’t always the case. I always saw myself as someone who could perform well under pressure. I was always good in a fight because I didn’t lose control. Back in the day, I could survive a traffic stop without raising any suspicion that I may have been drinking. I was the person that you wanted with you in battle, or if you were pulling a caper. I was in control of my emotions.
Hormones Are Powerful
I remember taking my first little blue pill. Not that one that certain men take. This one was estradiol. I had read a bit about the placebo effect, and I understood that for the first three months nothing much would happen. That is what I told myself. I instantly began searching for changes. I did notice that I had euphoria. I don’t know how much of that was chemical and how much was being out of the closet. I was so happy. Truthfully, I’m still waiting for the euphoria to end. I wake up every day happy, and with few exceptions, I find something about being a woman that makes me smile every day.The Teen Months
Then from three to six months, I was a lot like my daughters were when they hit puberty. I was equally likely to fly into a rage as I was to start crying. Many older trans women refer to the hormonal changes, and the process of learning to adjust, as “second puberty.” I guess that’s accurate in fast forward. I found a new respect for the constant tiredness that many cis women talk about, there were many days when I was totally exhausted and lay on the couch all day. I guess I adjusted to the new normal for energy.Certifiable
From six to nine months, I was a monster, I was certain everyone was picking on me, and they were talking about me behind my back. I lost some friends during that phase. It’s funny to me now, but back then I was as serious as a heart attack. I seriously owe some people an apology and an explanation. I remember after a dumb fight with my oldest daughter, I apologized for my behavior and suggested that was probably the hormones affecting my behavior. She was unmoved and said, “Tough, I had to learn to live with it, so you do, too”. Whining is not well received in the Whitemore home. My wife gave birth to four babies and uttered nary a whimper. Three of them were natural, with no pain meds. I had to adjust quickly.Settling In
I have now mostly adjusted to my new hormone profile. I rarely have emotional outbursts, and I can catch myself when I start to get emotional to reign it in a bit. I cry a lot more now than I used to. I used to cry before, I’m not a monster, but I kept it subdued, and left the room to compose myself. Now, I cry for all of the house to see. There’s no sympathy, but I imagine some empathy.Being An Aunty
I have become a defacto aunt for many trans girls over the years. The kids used to try to call me mom, but good or bad, those kids already had a mom. I’m that weird aunt who lets you stay up late, and who you can talk about things you can’t talk to mom about. I enjoy that role. More than a couple of the girls have said that I helped them through some rough patches. I seem to always be able to find the bright side of things. I won’t sugarcoat anything. Being a woman is hard, and becoming a woman is hard, too. I love my life right now, it would be foolish to believe that no sadness or frustration will ever come my way, but I’m very happy I transitioned.Transgender Elders
I learned to be an aunt from several trans elders, these women had transitioned long ago. They were excellent resources for what was ahead. I respect those women so much. I met some of those women right here on Medium. Christine, Monique, and Georgette are three wonderful women who are valuable resources for our community. Georgette is what I like to call an OG, she transitioned in the 70s. That’s some serious shit right there. I cannot imagine the strength it took to be trans back then. I was trans back then, but highly closeted. Georgette came out while in the Navy. These elders are currently helping trans babies through some rough patches.Julie
My trans big sister was Julie; I love her so much. I wouldn’t be anywhere close to as well-adjusted as I am now without her gentle and loving guidance. I met Julie when I first came out and was scared and confused. I joined a trans chat platform called chatzy. I fell in love with her from our first meeting. She guided me through my transition from day one. She held on during my bratty phase. I still talk to Julie, but not every day like I used to. Having someone like Julie was so important to me. I hope that in some small way I can return the favor. I’m so grateful for all of my big trans sisters. I wouldn’t be me if it weren’t for them.Now with time and perspective, I can see which phase of transition a girl might be in. I’ve noticed that many of the feelings I had are shared by other girls. I said that trans babies are hilarious because I know my nieces are strong and capable, and they are crushing this whole transgender experience.
Ok, so if you made it here and you feel like a bunch of trans babies in a group helping each other with the pain and sharing in each other’s joy sounds good to you, I have just the place for you. Transpire is a discord server with a bunch of wonderful people who love to help. Tell Monique that Kitty says “hey.”
Love,
Aunty Kitty
