So when your dad calls you your name, you don’t have to call him dad, though? Like, it’s not as if parents call their kids “son” or “daughter.” Parents get titles, their kids don’t.
So when your dad calls you your name, you don’t have to call him dad, though? Like, it’s not as if parents call their kids “son” or “daughter.” Parents get titles, their kids don’t.
A lot of troons are anti-family or pro-"youth liberation," as well. They consider any and all parenting abusive. Dad probably did his best to tolerate his son's behavior until he just couldn't anymore. Likely after realizing nothing he did would ever be enough. It's classic troon cult behavior. I'm more surprised more of them didn't suggest cutting off all contact from Dad for his indiscretions.
I made the mistake of responding to someone in an askreddit thread about women on their periods. A comment said that they doubt any women enjoy or are even neutral about their periods. I said that, as a trans woman, I do get some positives out of it (gender affirmation), but that I have a hard time tracking it because I don't menstruate.
Gods did two cis women absolutely hate that I claimed to have a period! Immediately telling me how I can't have a period because a period is only shedding the uterine lining, that I might be having symptoms similar to a period but that it's not a period. Oh don't worry, one of them works in a clinic (that she later admitted is focused on reproductive issues that trans women can not physically have and therefore she does not work with trans clients at all), so she knows exactly what it's like for trans women!
It's so damn annoying. No, I don't claim to have a full menstrual period. Yes, I do have a period in the colloquial, informal sense of a collection of symptoms. Yes, it is transphobic to tell me that I don't. Yes, it is transphobic to tell me that I need to shut up and listen to women when they tell me about what it's actually like to have a period.
The moment I mentioned how not all cis women, nor even intersex women, bleed on their periods, they ran away and refused to engage further. Really says a lot about the depth of their argument and knowledge.
Key quotes:
It's so damn annoying. No, I don't claim to have a full menstrual period. Yes, I do have a period in the colloquial, informal sense of a collection of symptoms. Yes, it is transphobic to tell me that I don't. Yes, it is transphobic to tell me that I need to shut up and listen to women when they tell me about what it's actually like to have a period.
The moment I mentioned how not all cis women, nor even intersex women, bleed on their periods, they ran away and refused to engage further. Really says a lot about the depth of their argument and knowledge.
Yes, I do have a period in the colloquial, informal sense of a collection of symptoms. Yes, it is transphobic to tell me that I don't. Yes, it is transphobic to tell me that I need to shut up and listen to women when they tell me about what it's actually like to have a period.
So you mean to tell me that you have a period in the same way someone says "she's being difficult, must be on her period"? The jokes truly write themselves.
A locally famous farmer's son trooned out and has been spamming social media with depraved tranny shit. I'm dying to share, but it's too small a world. It's been pretty bad... he's posting about jacking his gock, how the farmworkers must want to ravish him, talking about getting his balls cut off. Being from an agricultural background, I assume he'll get the rubber band out any day.
His dad is amazing and so does not deserve this.... No idea how he's dealing.
A locally famous farmer's son trooned out and has been spamming social media with depraved tranny shit. I'm dying to share, but it's too small a world. It's been pretty bad... he's posting about jacking his gock, how the farmworkers must want to ravish him, talking about getting his balls cut off. Being from an agricultural background, I assume he'll get the rubber band out any day.
His dad is amazing and so does not deserve this.... No idea how he's dealing.
TF's father can't humor his son's troonery anymore. Begins referring to him by his full name. Followers and him wish all sorts of suffering for Dad, from the juvenile getting pebbles in shoes to various forms of testicular trauma
A locally famous farmer's son trooned out and has been spamming social media with depraved tranny shit. I'm dying to share, but it's too small a world. It's been pretty bad... he's posting about jacking his gock, how the farmworkers must want to ravish him, talking about getting his balls cut off. Being from an agricultural background, I assume he'll get the rubber band out any day.
His dad is amazing and so does not deserve this.... No idea how he's dealing.
Love to see tranny on tranny violence - this troon's roommates served her an eviction notice that, from context, has been a long time coming. The two gofundmes are. Hilarious.
Hey, if anyone does have any spare cash, I am legimtimately in dire need of any. I'm out of ADHD meds, My car is constantly on the edge of being repossessed and If I loose that I loose potential for most jobs that I would have access to. I can't afford my HRT this month if things keep going with 0 donations, and I'm *Desperately* looking for work but people who have good fucking jobs are packing up and moving, and I can't do that.
please, give me a fucking hand. All donations stopped... https://www.tumblr.com/theilluminantsystem
Homelessness threats. In letter form. Don't even have the guts to say it to my face. From trans women. Fucking hell. What unprincipled callous nasty miserable people... I've no money to cover *anything* I need. They know I've been struggling to find work for months. Any help. *any* help at all. Please.
MTF's father can't humor his son's troonery anymore. Begins referring to him by his full name. Followers and him wish all sorts of suffering for Dad, from the juvenile getting pebbles in shoes to various forms of testicular trauma
A locally famous farmer's son trooned out and has been spamming social media with depraved tranny shit. I'm dying to share, but it's too small a world. It's been pretty bad... he's posting about jacking his gock, how the farmworkers must want to ravish him, talking about getting his balls cut off. Being from an agricultural background, I assume he'll get the rubber band out any day.
His dad is amazing and so does not deserve this.... No idea how he's dealing.
Is it a private local group he's posting in or something? If not you should've just posted with the names redacted no one would've known you actually knew him in real life.
It's his personal Bluesky that, to the best I can see, has never had a post responded to or liked by more than a single soul... so it's not really "out there". Also I respect this farmer and don't want to hurt his business... It seems like he's tried to keep his troony failson on the hush hush.
My favorite of his posts was along the lines of
"I had no idea that becoming a girl [note: this is a 35 year old man] would make my libido so feminine... it takes so long to pleasure myself... It's physically exhausting!!"
A 43 year old pooner is upset her 71 year old mother can't remember to use her new name.
But her gay father can.
Out as trans for over 3 years now, still getting dead-named and misgendered by mom and her friends self.ftm
submitted 2 hours ago * by anebulouskitten
So I'm 43 years old and I have been out as trans masc for well over 3 years now. So my mom who is very liberal still slips up a fair amount using my old name and pronouns. Whenever I try to explain to her how I feel she just tells me that she is trying, but she is older and forgets. She is 71. She isn't that old in my opinion. Also her friends will sometimes dog pile on me if I correct her in front of them. Telling me I need to give her a break and that she is trying. Two of her friends are also very conservative which doesn't help matters. My dad who is a year older and we hardly speak always gets it right. He hasn't ever once used my dead name or misgendered. I suspect it might also have to do with the fact that he is gay and active in the LGBTQ community. I don't know what to do. I try asking nicely and it doesn't work. A lot of times I come home from my job and I can't be bothered to correct her after being physically/emotionally exhausted already. It still bothers me though.
Edit to add: Yes, we live together. Currently I can't afford a place on my own or even having a roommate. I had to take six weeks off work unpaid due to medical reasons and other issues as well.
And the comment below the post is everything about transgenderism, it will never be enough to simply use their pronouns, you must think of them as their identity or new selves.
o-reg-ano [score hidden] 2 hours ago If she re-frames the way she thinks, she won't have to try. You can say something like "i don't want you just to call me he and (current name), i want you to think of me that way."
I would highly suggest moving out if possible, if you don't live with her put some distance between you two, and be honest about why.
[–]anebulouskitten [score hidden] 2 hours ago
I would like to move out, but I am currently not able to at the moment.
New-Mud-7101 [score hidden] 2 hours ago
Correct me if I'm wrong, but "coming home from your job and can't be bothered" sounds like u live together. If that's the case, and you can afford it, I'd recommend moving out. Maintaining contact (as it seems is what u want) while also having your own space and feeling accepted, relaxed, and fully at home in your residence is essential to maintaining stability and a good outlook. It's much easier to deal with family that you're only calling and seeing a day or two a week than being mistreated every day. Understandably, people have circumstances where that's not possible if youre taking care of her or can't afford it. But if u can, im telling u its worth it 100%
[–]anebulouskitten [score hidden] 2 hours ago
I can't currently afford to move out on my own. Otherwise I would be considering that option.
[–]New-Mud-7101 [score hidden] 2 hours ago
Sorry to hear that man, I understand completely. The job market is shit, housing is unaffordable as hell. Best advice I can give u is to find people in your life that truly see u for who u are. They are out there, and having people that accept u for u makes all the difference even if your mother can't see u that way at home. Joining a local hobby group or community College class you're interested in is a fast track to finding that if u need it.
As unfortunate as it is, you can't force someone to accept you. They have to want to do it on their own. Maybe your mom will get there, no one knows. If she truly cares for you she will with time. In the meantime, you have to spend your free time with those that truly can see you. Best of luck
[–]anebulouskitten [score hidden] 2 hours ago
I'm already involved with some local LGBTQ groups and I play dnd at the library. So that does help somewhat.
zomboi- FtMtFtM (questions? check my post history before asking plz) [score hidden] 31 minutes ago
but she is older and forgets. She is 71.
old age is not an excuse unless she is suffering a mental decline; and is more forgetful than normal in every aspect of her life, not just a child's gender pronouns and chosen name.
This how narcissist's build their sense of "self" they need constant outside validation or they fall apart or fly into rage.
She should consider her self lucky her mom is even alive still, let along staying at her place.
I like how this long suffering whiner wrote all of that caterwauling in the stuffy, suffering cadence of a terminally ill Victorian man as if styling her complaints in the diction of Pride and Prejudice would make her seem any less hilarious as a person. YWNBOW (You Will Never Be Oscar Wilde).
Thread tax time! And for those of you who love pooner foibles, this will be a buffet of buffoonery indeed.
A mental health caseworker is routinely ousted as FTM to all of her coworkers due to the nature of her workplace's computer system, which means everybody who works on her cases alongside her is immediately aware that a poon is afoot. The knowledge that there is no easy way for OP to fool others is actually so devastating that when a coworker talks about their own transgender child in relation to her, OP straight up cries in front of everybody from the embarrassment and experiences severe depression when others foist their own trans clientele on to her with the excuse that she'll be able to relate to them better. Honestly, if I had tranny patients, I would also lob them off on the nearest tranny I worked with if just so they could melt each other's brains instead of mine! Link | Archive
i work in mental health and i live in the PNW of the US. i’ve been on T intermittently since 7/31/2023 and legally changed my name on 3/30/2026 but i don’t pass as well as I’d like. It’s about 50/50 whether or not I’m going to pass when meeting a stranger, and I meet a lot of strangers through outreach at work.
we are required to document every client contact in an electronic health record, and my job specifically doesn’t have individual caseloads but rather a caseload shared by all staff on the team. so, when you go to document in a client’s chart, on the front page of their profile it has a list of all employees currently assigned to that client, and usually shows 5-6 people’s names depending on the size of the text box. my last name happens to start with a letter close to the beginning of the alphabet which means 100% of the time my legal name is displayed front and center on every client’s chart (as the employee names are listed alphabetically). Even though my name legally changed (which I expedited due to this outing issue), it takes several months for my license to be switched through the department of health and the records system HAS to match what is on your license. so i just get outed every day and can’t do anything about it
now that i’ve been outed by the records system, i’ve had a coworker bring up in front of my whole team during a meeting that I was trans and he wanted me to meet his son who is also trans, and admittedly i said out loud in the meeting “ope, not you outing me to the whole team” and it was really awkward and i cried. my bosses were nice and said they would talk to him but i cant change the fact that it happened. and after he outed me in person, ive had other coworkers ask me to see their trans clients for them because i would connect with them better and now i feel really sad because i don’t want to be a trans mental health clinician, i just want to be a mental health clinician that happens to be trans
rant over tysm
Even when her mother is supportive of her poonacy, this little gal is bothered by the fact that Mama OP finds the mere concept of her burgeoning hyenaclitoris to be very disgusting, which is just one more thing on the laundry list of features on OP's body that her mom seems to find repulsive. Hm, you guys don't think having an overly critical mother who judges her daughter's appearance constantly to the point of her developing an eating disorder might've contributed to the pooning out, do you...? Link | Archive
TW: Talk about bottom growth and transphobia(?) So I came out five years ago and my mother was very much against it at first, but quickly came around. She supported me on the process of going on T, and spoke up for me in medical settings. Still she sometimes says a few odd things but she's mostly supportive.
Anyways, a few days ago I jokingly said that feeling hot and hungry all the time are the worst effects of T. She was like "reaally?", and I said yeah, besides the health risks cis men face aswell. I was kind of confused and didnt know what she meant.
She then asked if the fact that "it could grow down there" isnt worse. And she kind of made a grimace and made it clear she thinks its weird of disgusting. I was like nope, of course not. Its basically like growing a mini penis, so thats nice.
A few days later it really began to sink in that she thinks bottom growth is disgusting, and she doesnt know obviously, but I already have a fair amount. So once again she told me my body is weird.
In the past she has also said she thinks my scars (SH) are ugly, and on a few occasions said that top surgery never has good results and doesnt look good. Which is obviously bullshit.
I'm also recovering from a ED and she knows that. I told her multiple times that I struggle with my body image and that any talk about my body could hurt my mental health, even compliments.
Should I try to tell her again that it hurt? How can I explain it to her? I mean obviously the thought of bottom growth makes her uncomgy because she is a cis woman and imagining it on herself would give her gender dysphoria, but still she didnt have to say all that.
This is more of a rant, but any advice or just a few kind words would help.
Thank you and have a great day
A TiF's sister has found a loophole in which to acknowledge OP's stupid identity while making her feel bad about it: a concept called "malgendering," which to my understanding is when you only play along with someone's gender delusions in order to shame or embarrass them about it in some way. For those of you who are fans of engaging in malicious compliance, consider adding this to your toolbox whenever you'd like to call someone a slur to their face but are forced instead to play long, because there is literally nothing they can do about it! Link | Archive
I’m really really tired of having my identity as a trans guy weaponized against me and it’s worse that I blatantly and casually receive that from my sister. In any minor disagreement or if she tells me to do something that was her job (ie chores) and i say no she will randomly say “so you hate women/okay misogynist” and the discussion is never even about gender, it’s always completely out of pocket.
I know that I am not a misogynist, I know I’m a feminist, I know where I stand, so it’s not from a place of doubt or self reflection but it still always makes me feel so weird even when I know I’ve done nothing wrong.
Idk it just bothers me so badly bc she does this all the time and ive expressed my discomfort with it before but she always defends it saying “its just a joke” but its not even a joke its not funny its just casual transphobia. I know she’s not transphobic either but she constantly uses the same transphobic microaggression that just makes me uncomfortable
Simply the very act of reading fetishistic smut has left this wee fujoshi in tearful insomnia as she is reminded over and over again how she can never bear for a man to touch her the way them fellers do in her pickature books. "I definitely won't have a dick during the prime ages for hookups," she bleats tragically; truly, never has there been a greater injustice than the denial of so many young women to whatever superbugs are brewing on the penile surfaces of men who think ass-to-mouth with strangers is no issue at all. Link | Archive
God I am so pathetic lol. I found a M/M pairing I like in a fandom and started reading some fics. Mostly romance and smut. I severely underestimated the effect reading gay fanfiction would have on me.
I spent last night crying and unable to sleep because I don't have a dick. I'll never have what these men have, I'll never be able to let another man touch me in that way because using my current genitalia makes me feel like throwing up. Even when I'm several years on T and post top, I'll always be a woman down there. Prosthetics sound like they would disappoint me. I know they work for many guys, but I would not be able to handle knowing it's not actually attached to my body or capable of full sensation. Phallo is ridiculously expensive, so it's unlikely I'll be getting that in the next 30 years. And I definitely won't have a dick during the prime ages for hookups. I don't even bother with dating or having sex, and I don't know if I ever will so long as I am missing the correct parts. All I can do is read about gay relationships and daydream about my life if I was born cis.
I love fanfiction but damn. Shit hurts.
Some TiFs get so entrenched in the fantasy of bumfucking blokes that their bitterness towards lacking said equipment bleeds over into their day-to-day lives instead of remaining a personal angst shared only between them and a glowing phone screen set on an AO3 smutfic. This one, for example, cannot even bear to look at gay men existing peacefully without getting so upset that she has to turn away, as if she is Dickarus and the hot sun of gay men's happiness threatens to melt her wax wings. Link | Archive
I'm pre-t trans and gay, I obviously have no problem with anyone in LGBTQ+ and I'm open to learning about all kinds of identities. However, I've realized that when I see videos of cis gay men being happy couples or just generally a cis gay man it fills me with jealousy, I get annoyed, I scroll past. It reminds me how I'll never be like them, never have it that easy, just wake up and be a gay man with no other labels. It honestly kind of pisses me off how I have to deal with this and it hurts so bad, I like constantly mourn who I wish I was, it sucks and I feel terrible for feeling this way. My best friend is gay and I had a crush on him once but ultimately was rejected which of course I was fine with and we moved on from it, it didn't really change our relationship at all. However, I've been carrying the weight of that rejection since, it feels like if I were cis I would've actually had a real chance, but at the core I'm just a girl, so my feelings were unrealistic. Sometimes I get annoyed when he jokes about fictional characters he finds attractive and such because it again reminds me of how he's a cis gay man who just gets to be that, no questions. I would never actually be annoyed at him for these silly things, but it's hard to stop my feelings even though my head knows otherwise. I know its wrong to feel the way I feel but I can't stop it you know? I mention that part to highlight it is kind of affecting my real life relationships as well, I sort of hurt myself? Nothing he's saying is objectively wrong but it still stings.
Foid rage: Though OP paints a picture of herself as a very modest little mouse man who turns her anger inward rather than outward, something seems to have changed ever since she began low-dose HRT, making her into a serious hothead that gets into screaming matches with her roommates at the slightest provocation. The worst and most recent offense was when OP shoved a woman during what sounds like a waking nightmare of an argument for any neighbors nearby; as a result, OP is now rattled to her core as even though she is diminutive in size, "a small push is a push" and she worries about what sort of beast she's slowly becoming... but conveniently never once thinks to blame her hormones for such outbursts. Link | Archive
I need advice. I was never an angry or confrontational person before T. I'd usually cry or dissociate if I got angry and then I'd confront the person later calmly after the situation passed. I handled things really gracefully.
But I've had two instances in the last two months that have really left me rattled. The first was me yelling at a new male roommate for being continuously disrespectful of us and our space (smoking weed inside, muddy shoes inside, eating our food, leaving our doors unlocked or OPEN, etc). He'd been using weaponized incompetence for a solid two weeks after moving in. He slammed our doors so hard that the glass cracked. He let my cat out in the night. We'd all gently corrected him at first. But then I exploded. I felt feral the way I went off on him. I left my body and just yelled. While the behavior was NOT okay, I felt justified in the words I'd said. I apologized to him later for yelling.
The second time was yesterday. A different roommate. She came in while three of us were talking and inserted herself into the conversation. Raising her voice immediately. She thought we'd been having a conversation disparaging our landlord (her literal best friend) and started tearing into us. Our new roommate had been asking questions about yard work and the potential of maybe asking our landlord for a stipend. My other roommate was explaining that in the past the landlord did not want to do that, so his mileage may vary. Once she started going off and kept going on about how we were sucking the new roommate into "our drama" and that our landlord is a good guy who sticks with you through thick and thin, I snapped. I got up and told her to fuck off.
(The context here is that she's felt like she's been stuck in the middle of our grievances with the landlord. Which is understandable given their relationship. But he's consistently pretty bad. I had an ant infestation in the walls he didn't want to deal with, something DIED in the wall after months of me telling him we had mice and I couldn't even stay in my room for two weeks because of the smell. He also keeps trying to move really creepy or straight up bad people into the house without asking us. That's honestly the biggest issue. We at one point had a conversation with the landlord's bff where we agreed that if she hears us talking about him, she'd remove herself from the situation. And we'd try to refrain from talking about him in front of her.) I told her to fuck off, it escalated from there. She said some really awful shit. I said some awful shit. My other roommate started yelling at her too. I erupted. I got scared. I wanted her to stop yelling at us. I pushed her.
I fucking pushed her. I don't know what my game plan was or why I did it. My other roommate stopped and sternly told me to leave the room at once while the other lady started yelling about filing a police report. I'm small, I'm not very strong, but regardless even a small push is a push.
I went upstairs and cried my eyes out. I scared myself so badly. I'd never, ever, ever put my hands on anyone in my life. I've never even gotten a detention as a kid. Never have been in trouble with the cops. I'm actually known for being really even keeled and thoughtful and calm. I called my mom, I called my therapist to get in an emergency session.
As angry as I was, what I did wasn't okay. The shame of what I did is eating me alive.
My landlord contacted me last night to tell me to sleep easy, that no report will be filed, but that we're all going to have a house meeting on Tuesday.
I should count myself lucky to be given so much grace. I'd been unemployed for a year, living with weird, unpredictable roommates, dealing with the death of my grandparent, just really stretched to my limit, and my transition just happened to be right in the middle of it. I'm super scared still. I need to be able to have this confrontation on Tuesday as calmly as possibly. The one particular roommate is prone to yelling and raising her voice. I need to find a way to catch myself before I get angry, be productive, and to not inflame the situation. But also to not dissociate to get through it.
Guys, I'm scared. I'm really, extremely ashamed. I don't want to tell anyone in my life about this because I'm afraid they'll think I'm becoming an angry, violent person.
I think my newfound anger is actually my severe anxiety coming to the surface in a new way. But I CANNOT act like this. I'm so scared.
How do I navigate this? Has anyone experienced this? How do you deal with anger in the moment?? Please help. :-(
(For reference, I'm on a pretty low dose of T. It's been since December. My levels are on the low end of the male range.)
Every gayden's dream is to find a bepenised Prince Charming of their own and live a homosexual happily ever after, but this gayden in particular's dream has become a nightmare that none of them will fess up to fearing: her prince wishes, instead, to be a princess. OP does the good and honorable thing of saying that it's fine and she loves the stupid lad no matter how he gallivants around, but deep down, she feels robbed of the gay male identity she was once so comfortable appropriating - yet in true moronic fashion she is still determined to walk down the aisle and legally shackle herself to a man who would be queen. I wonder how long the marriage will last? Link | Archive
i (ftm) have been out for years and pretty much done w my transition. when i started dating my fiancé we both identified as gay(ish) men. my fiancé and i both had prior experience w women in the bedroom but dont prefer to date women.i felt really at home calling myself gay since we are in a committed relationship.
my fiancé came out as mtf a few weeks ago. honestly not really a shock to me. i’ve had suspicions and tried to gently bring it up over the years but she wasn’t ready to admit it yet which is fine. i’m really proud of her tho! i went out and bought her some nice girly things and i’m enjoying watching her be her true self. i love her and nothing will change that.
however, i do feel a little lost. she’s still the same person but i feel like im kinda mourning our past relationship bc of dynamic change. i haven’t brought this up to her bc i don’t want her to feel like coming out was the wrong choice.
my role preference both in the bedroom and in the relationship is based off gender. i like being submissive/bottom towards men and dominant/top towards women. i don’t want to have a dead bedroom, and we’ve been working around it, but it’s not like it was.
i’ve also been getting kinda sad when i see mlm posts. not bc i wish my fiancé would change but bc that was my identity. that’s how i thought my life would be forever and now it’s not. she said i could keep calling myself/our relationship gay and keep up the mlm flag i have in our room but i fully see her as a woman and i feel that’s disrespectful. i am a binary man and she is a binary woman and that’s not gay.
idk what i even feel rn. yes i’m so happy and proud of her but i also feel just… blank??
is there anyone reading this that has been thru something similar? how did u work thru it? *everything i typed is my feelings alone and we still plan on getting married and everyone loves each other very deeply (so pls don’t suggest couples therapy or breaking up)*
If there's one dominion of man that pooners excel at moreso than real guys, it's being laughable little cuckolds, as is shown in every story where their lovers long for legitimate loinmeat that these ladies lack. And so, please enjoy three stories in which sad li'l doodz learn that at the end of the day, they'll always be picked last for dodgeball. Link | Archive
I need to vent, I don't want to post this in general subs because of transphobia. I was in a relationship for 7 years I was so proud about with a cis woman. She was everything I could've ever asked for. I won't delve much into detail but I felt like I had won at life as a trans man. She didn't tell me she cheated herself, I found out through friends. He was a cis man. I read the screenshots of them she had sent my friends, the way she talked about how he worked out and he made her so much happier in the span of a fucking day. I am crushed, I feel robbed, I already expressed my anger and she's out of my life now. This happened two days ago and the whole overdeal finished today. But now I feel so empty and hopeless, as a trans man my dating pool is the size of a pond. I feel like I would never compare enough to a cis man to ever be considered dateable by someone new, I have been stuck on low dose T for 5 years due to my medicaid cutting out and my doctor being unable to increase the dosage because of the gap months ive taken. I feel like 7 years of my life have been stolen from me. It's like I will never find someone again who understood me on the same deeper level as she did and appreciated my transness, my entire soul. I just don't know where I belong now as I didn't have much of a bustling social life all those years. Socializing outside of my friend group is terrifying with the amount of transphobia that surrounds me in my area. I feel so lost. I know I need to take time to heal but I haven't felt alone like this in so long, it's such a huge void to fill in my life. I just feel like yelling at the abyss.
That's it. 4 years of dating and assuring me im real man. Then I initiated break up because she was acting indifferent in relationship and she tells me she's "curious about being with a man". I was standing there like BUT WHAT AM I THEN ??? I'm not even angry or sad, it's just feels like betrayal, why would u put hope in my head and crush it so ruthlessly.
I’m having a Moment and really trying not to be all doomer about desirability politics as a trans guy only interested in topping. Looking for advice or commiserations or even just hearing from other people who also struggle with this. I know I’m good at strap-on topping and I like doing it, and intellectually I know it doesn’t make me an inferior top to not be using a natal dick. But I feel like I’m treated as though it does a lot of the time. I made an offhand comment about feeling ‘sexually invisible’ as a trans guy top few days ago, and it’s really stuck with me. I don’t think I’ve ever really seen somebody specifically fantasise about being topped by a trans guy, and I sometimes struggle to believe somebody would actually want me except as a second option (to a cis man, woman, or trans guy who bottoms). Even with the people I actually have sex with (which has been exclusively t4t for years), I struggle with feeling like an ‘exception’ — they’ve been mostly t4c, and sometimes I can get into my head that they would actually prefer if I were a cis guy.
I also know this is extra messy because of some trauma stuff. I used to do PIV with queer cis men back in my late teens, and I used to have to drink heavily to get myself to do it. I only ever met up with a cis guy who said he was into me topping once, and was forced into having non-consensual PIV once I was in private anyway (this was in 2019 and was the last time I had sex with a cis person fwiw). I’m sober now and I know I’m doing much better mental health wise than I used to be (despite how this post makes it seem lol), but sometimes I do really miss how attractive and ‘in-demand’ I used to feel, even though the sex I was having was harmful to me (and I’m now disgusted by even the idea of somebody wanting to penetrate me vaginally in any way). I know insecurity is unattractive and I do try and hide it, but sometimes that just makes how insecure I actually am feel like this horrible weighty secret. I’ve tried the go-to self-assurance (‘some people like strap better because you can pick size/shape and it doesn’t go soft!’ etc), but it just feels so hollow because it doesn’t feel like it actually reflects the reality I live in. I feel really ashamed to admit it, but I honestly do feel like a lesser option most of the time, and I sometimes get so envious of guys who enjoy bottoming for PIV, and I don’t like either of those things about me but I don’t know how to shake them.
I’m also worried this feelings might be leading me to develop an unhealthy relationship with the gym. Getting into very heavy lifting was initially good for me (and helped me kick some restrictive eating habits), but I think I’m starting to pushing myself to get bigger to ‘make up’ for being a trans top.
Lastly, a new kind of dysphoria has dropped: this pooner can't bring herself to do therapeutic stretches because in her mind, such an action is too womanly for her to bear, because God forbid you ever do anything remotely feminine as a dood lest others think you belong to such an accursed clade. Link | Archive
Everyone in my life tells me I need to stretch. A physically therapist told me it more important for me to stretch then work out but I just can’t bring myself to do it. Only women stretch in my mind
Here's a troon who's fast approaching his exam day. His doctor want's to know why he wants to troon out, and is asking him about his childhood. Suspicions of abuse, I guess. He could tell the truth, but that's far too un-troon-like, so instead he heads to reddit and asks his fellow cross dressers to tell him the answers most likely to get him through.
These are always hilarious to me. When post-menopausal women start hormone replacement, they don't say that they suddenly started having all of the symptoms of a period, minus the bleeding, again, yet troons always insist they're having periods.
