- Joined
- Aug 9, 2019
Pooner's partner gets tired of experimenting and realizes that *he's gay (EDIT: pooner's partner is also a troon)-
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TL;DR- drugged up troon pissed himself and then staggered out of some shady motel and startled a random black (possibly homeless) man who called the cops on him. One of said cops trolls him and gets him to confirm his real name. Troon thinks that the officer did it fuck with him:
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Troon seething over the fact that he will never be a real woman-
Reddit | Archive
Guys, I need help. So badly. I'm spiraling and I don't know what to do.
I've been with her thirteen years. She is my whole world. She misses the feeling of a real penis. It's eating away at her. Not only the guilt of wanting something she can't have, but the intensity of her desire for it. She doesn't just wants it. She needs it.
I can't do that. I can't compete with that. I hate so much that I can't but here we are.
There's got to be options. Something realistic enough that we can try. Please. I don't believe I'm the only one who's gone through this. Someone must have some answers that can help. There's got to be an answer.
I've been with her thirteen years. She is my whole world. She misses the feeling of a real penis. It's eating away at her. Not only the guilt of wanting something she can't have, but the intensity of her desire for it. She doesn't just wants it. She needs it.
I can't do that. I can't compete with that. I hate so much that I can't but here we are.
There's got to be options. Something realistic enough that we can try. Please. I don't believe I'm the only one who's gone through this. Someone must have some answers that can help. There's got to be an answer.
TL;DR- drugged up troon pissed himself and then staggered out of some shady motel and startled a random black (possibly homeless) man who called the cops on him. One of said cops trolls him and gets him to confirm his real name. Troon thinks that the officer did it fuck with him:
A few months ago, I was staying at a hotel recovering from surgery, and had a medical issue in the middle of the night, where I thought I was dying. Couldn’t find my phone other than an iPad in my bed, couldn’t call out, the phone in my room didn’t have a dial tone because my friend’s autistic kid was over earlier and loves pushing buttons and left the phone in the other room off the hook. Basically left with no way to call for help. Eventually after I realized I now emptied my bladder in the bed unintentionally, my fight or flight instinct kicked in and I thought to run down to the front desk to call for an ambulance.
I get out of bed and somehow am able to balance myself and just keep pushing, hobbling downstairs and slowly making my way to the front. It’s 3-4am so no guests, and apparently no front desk either, and also that’s when I realize how cold I felt because I had no clothes on either. (Not unusual bc I hate sleeping in them) so realizing I’m fully exposed, grab kind of a big pillow from a couch in the lobby, to at least cover my torso because I was shivering, but didn’t fully cover me if you know what I mean.
So after nobody shows up for a while, I walk outside thinking to flag someone down to help call the ambulance, I can barely talk at this point besides weakly mumbling “help” and “can’t breathe” and I’m standing in front of the hotel hugging my pillow and a car is coming. A white middle-aged guy (I know race doesn’t really matter) pulls up, I reach out to mouth “help”, the guy stops, looks at me, promptly shifts in reverse and drives off… I’m like okay, I’m dying tonight I guess.
Finally a black guy, possibly homeless I didn’t see where he came from, walks up to me all concerned and asks if I’m okay. In my delusions I’m thinking he’s literally there to shuffle me off to the afterlife and was honestly ready to go with him. But no, he was real. And I see his phone out and he’s describing me to someone, and I hear “man or woman? Uhhh not sure” (remember I’m kind of exposed down there)
Next thing I know cops pull up! Cops! Not ambulance. Officer Transphobe McAsshole and his backup are on the scene. He walks up to me and asks what’s going on and I tell him “I can’t breathe”. He says “what’s your name?” … I tell him my name, it’s been legally that name for many years. He goes:
“No… I mean what’s your REAL name?” WTF??
So in my delusions again I get all sheepish and, tell him my deadname? They get all smug and he walks off. Finally the ambulance shows up, they cover me up, start loading me up. Officer T walks back up to ask my name again because obviously using my deadname wasn’t going to pull anything up…. Tell him again my REAL name, and he walks away. They load me up and take me away to the hospital. The guy who drove off pulls back up now that the scary naked person who was dying is leaving and he’s safe I guess. Maybe he’s the one who called the cops after scaring him so badly…
Then that’s when I found out my vitals are fine, I wasn’t dying. I was drugged. They ask me what happened and I told them I remember being at the hotel bar earlier before going to sleep and then waking up as I described. Apparently someone slipped something in my drink somehow and I still have no idea how? They have a pool bar and I was hanging out with friends.
But yeah, they blood test me, tell me what was in my system, give me something to snap me out of it, the hospital drug coordinator lady was so nice an older lesbian woman who actually took the time to find me clothes, even safety pin the top because I’m a bit busty. Calls me an uber back to my hotel and gives me a number to call for counseling if I needed it.
Everything ended up being okay all things considering, except now I’ll always remember the way that cop treated me during a literal “medical emergency”. Oh yeah, and the guy who drove off to call the cops and leave me to die.
So yeah, TLDR: ladies, please watch your drinks. And transphobes suck and exist everywhere.
I get out of bed and somehow am able to balance myself and just keep pushing, hobbling downstairs and slowly making my way to the front. It’s 3-4am so no guests, and apparently no front desk either, and also that’s when I realize how cold I felt because I had no clothes on either. (Not unusual bc I hate sleeping in them) so realizing I’m fully exposed, grab kind of a big pillow from a couch in the lobby, to at least cover my torso because I was shivering, but didn’t fully cover me if you know what I mean.
So after nobody shows up for a while, I walk outside thinking to flag someone down to help call the ambulance, I can barely talk at this point besides weakly mumbling “help” and “can’t breathe” and I’m standing in front of the hotel hugging my pillow and a car is coming. A white middle-aged guy (I know race doesn’t really matter) pulls up, I reach out to mouth “help”, the guy stops, looks at me, promptly shifts in reverse and drives off… I’m like okay, I’m dying tonight I guess.
Finally a black guy, possibly homeless I didn’t see where he came from, walks up to me all concerned and asks if I’m okay. In my delusions I’m thinking he’s literally there to shuffle me off to the afterlife and was honestly ready to go with him. But no, he was real. And I see his phone out and he’s describing me to someone, and I hear “man or woman? Uhhh not sure” (remember I’m kind of exposed down there)
Next thing I know cops pull up! Cops! Not ambulance. Officer Transphobe McAsshole and his backup are on the scene. He walks up to me and asks what’s going on and I tell him “I can’t breathe”. He says “what’s your name?” … I tell him my name, it’s been legally that name for many years. He goes:
“No… I mean what’s your REAL name?” WTF??
So in my delusions again I get all sheepish and, tell him my deadname? They get all smug and he walks off. Finally the ambulance shows up, they cover me up, start loading me up. Officer T walks back up to ask my name again because obviously using my deadname wasn’t going to pull anything up…. Tell him again my REAL name, and he walks away. They load me up and take me away to the hospital. The guy who drove off pulls back up now that the scary naked person who was dying is leaving and he’s safe I guess. Maybe he’s the one who called the cops after scaring him so badly…
Then that’s when I found out my vitals are fine, I wasn’t dying. I was drugged. They ask me what happened and I told them I remember being at the hotel bar earlier before going to sleep and then waking up as I described. Apparently someone slipped something in my drink somehow and I still have no idea how? They have a pool bar and I was hanging out with friends.
But yeah, they blood test me, tell me what was in my system, give me something to snap me out of it, the hospital drug coordinator lady was so nice an older lesbian woman who actually took the time to find me clothes, even safety pin the top because I’m a bit busty. Calls me an uber back to my hotel and gives me a number to call for counseling if I needed it.
Everything ended up being okay all things considering, except now I’ll always remember the way that cop treated me during a literal “medical emergency”. Oh yeah, and the guy who drove off to call the cops and leave me to die.
So yeah, TLDR: ladies, please watch your drinks. And transphobes suck and exist everywhere.
Troon seething over the fact that he will never be a real woman-
I hate it. It's ridiculous. Why do i have to fight the whole goddamned world and my own fking genes to be myself? Why do i need to play this fked up game of life with such disadvantages?
I knew i wanted to be girl for as long as i could recall. But i also learnt very quickly that the world and the adult around me very much would not be happy if i told them about it. I spend my entire childhood, teenage year, and early adulthood trying to be the person people expect me to be. I didnt dream of waking up to suddenly be a girl, i dream of waking up normal, for these feelings to go away and i can just be happy being a boy.
I tried so hard, only to feel worse each year. Even when i transition, even when i pass, the curse just doesnt fking end.
My measurments are well within female range and i pass very well in public, even got hit on a few times. But the marks of masculinization are undeniable: Frontal sinus too big, eyes too small, shoulders too broad, feet too big, hips too narrow, rib cage too broad. Even tho i pass, i just look so different from the average cis woman. Why does this need to happen to me? Did i step on a baby dragon in my past life or something??
I feel cursed. I am very active and very careful with diet. A cis-girl living my lifestyle would have an instagram worthy body. But because of my AMAB puberty, i just look like a woman with a lean and straight body. I put in double the effort for less than half the results. But if i ever let up on my routine, i just know all the fats are going to my abdomens and upper back. Seriously fuck this shit.
Even my family, who are accepting, are not exactly supportive. I cant even get my mother to tell me i look good. i can see her get uncomfortable when she sees me in female clothes, it makes me feel like shit. I can at least understand it if i look bad, but i dont. I'm not winning any pageants but i know i do not look bad. So why? Why is it so wrong for me to dress and look the way half the world population do? Why do i need to hide my breast around my family? it's so fucked up that i am jealous of women who get to.. not hide their shape around their family??? Wtf even is that????
And the voice.. i practiced for 1 year, 30 mins to 1 hour a day, sometimes 2 hours, to get a feminine voice. Even now, i still need to continue practicing for years to work up the stamina and the prosody to sound like the average woman. Why did i do to deserve this. I am so jealous of women who just get to open the mouth and sound like women. That they can just sing at ranges i never could.
I want nothing more than to be a mother and a housewife, literally my dream since i was 7. A very basic and common dream for women. But utterly impossible for me. Just because of the fucking Y chromosome.
i'm not even going to start on the complexities of dating men as a trans woman. Women complain about the difficulties of dating men, but the whole world is supporting them, it is the most normal thing in the world. But for me, it feels like i'm doing something illegal, you never how they will react when they find out.
Things that cis women dont even think about, are things i will never have. Seriously, what did i do to deserve this? Is this punishment? What kind of monster was i in my previous life to deserve this fate?
I knew i wanted to be girl for as long as i could recall. But i also learnt very quickly that the world and the adult around me very much would not be happy if i told them about it. I spend my entire childhood, teenage year, and early adulthood trying to be the person people expect me to be. I didnt dream of waking up to suddenly be a girl, i dream of waking up normal, for these feelings to go away and i can just be happy being a boy.
I tried so hard, only to feel worse each year. Even when i transition, even when i pass, the curse just doesnt fking end.
My measurments are well within female range and i pass very well in public, even got hit on a few times. But the marks of masculinization are undeniable: Frontal sinus too big, eyes too small, shoulders too broad, feet too big, hips too narrow, rib cage too broad. Even tho i pass, i just look so different from the average cis woman. Why does this need to happen to me? Did i step on a baby dragon in my past life or something??
I feel cursed. I am very active and very careful with diet. A cis-girl living my lifestyle would have an instagram worthy body. But because of my AMAB puberty, i just look like a woman with a lean and straight body. I put in double the effort for less than half the results. But if i ever let up on my routine, i just know all the fats are going to my abdomens and upper back. Seriously fuck this shit.
Even my family, who are accepting, are not exactly supportive. I cant even get my mother to tell me i look good. i can see her get uncomfortable when she sees me in female clothes, it makes me feel like shit. I can at least understand it if i look bad, but i dont. I'm not winning any pageants but i know i do not look bad. So why? Why is it so wrong for me to dress and look the way half the world population do? Why do i need to hide my breast around my family? it's so fucked up that i am jealous of women who get to.. not hide their shape around their family??? Wtf even is that????
And the voice.. i practiced for 1 year, 30 mins to 1 hour a day, sometimes 2 hours, to get a feminine voice. Even now, i still need to continue practicing for years to work up the stamina and the prosody to sound like the average woman. Why did i do to deserve this. I am so jealous of women who just get to open the mouth and sound like women. That they can just sing at ranges i never could.
I want nothing more than to be a mother and a housewife, literally my dream since i was 7. A very basic and common dream for women. But utterly impossible for me. Just because of the fucking Y chromosome.
i'm not even going to start on the complexities of dating men as a trans woman. Women complain about the difficulties of dating men, but the whole world is supporting them, it is the most normal thing in the world. But for me, it feels like i'm doing something illegal, you never how they will react when they find out.
Things that cis women dont even think about, are things i will never have. Seriously, what did i do to deserve this? Is this punishment? What kind of monster was i in my previous life to deserve this fate?
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BRUH
Well OK. It is also a victimhood fantasy,