📚 Megathread Trannies posting their L's Online - Heckin valid people posting their funny misfortunes on the internet

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Magic Pickle said:
Down in the valley was a chemical spill: after a roll in the hay with a new beau, trouble brews south of the the belt line as a li'l dood begins constantly oozing odorous green slime from her vagina to the point where even after only a few hours of being upright, she has to change out her soaked-through pants - and that as she puts on fresh clothes, the discharge runs down her leg in a steady stream. If that wasn't bad enough, she has a frightening rash across her belly, and her doctor is completely at a loss as to what to do next. The kicker? Supposedly, she has tested negative for STDs.
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Let's see now. She's on T. And topical E. (Presumably for atrophy?) PrEP. (Of course, every T&H gay trans man must be on that now.) Gotta a dose of Flagyl. Who knows what else is percolating in her body, probably some psych meds or possibly some wacky pooner-only natural supplement that she's not disclosing? And yet with all that green goo horror going on she still can't swing relaxing enough to enable her doc to crank her open and get a good look in there? FFS. "Show me on the doll where the green goo comes out, Honey. There's no need for you to experience discomfort here. I mean, maybe your uterus is green too, but we'll work around your (manly) terror."

Spider On The Ceiling Pooner and Green Goo Pooner remind me of those delicate Victorian gals who needed fainting couches because they were laced too tight.

And it's funny too, that Green Goo Pooner expects her gyno squeezer to know everything that could possibly come from her dosing herself with cross sex hormones. I mean, men with vaginas are common now, right Doc? You learned absolutely everything about us in gyno med school, right? You know what to do about this bizarre condition, right? All I need is a pill or suppository, right? Right?

And since her Doc is at a loss, the brilliant minds of Reddit are asked for their expert help.



 
Anasa Tristis said:
PrEP. (Of course, every T&H gay trans man must be on that now.)
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She had sex with one guy with a condom once, and is generally uncomfortable having stuff inside her. Of course she needs the expensive gay orgy drug. For her health and safety and anxiety! Targeting anxious girls more scared of HIV than at risk must be quite profitable.
 
Anasa Tristis said:
And since her Doc is at a loss, the brilliant minds of Reddit are asked for their expert help.
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It's worse than that; the doctor gave her several testing and treatment options that are necessary next steps to diagnosing her vagina goo. But she ignored them because reddit knows more.

1. Stopping PReP.
2. Stopping testosterone, which is clearly causing other symptoms.
3. Doing a fucking cervical exam, since the discharge is coming from there and it needs to be looked at, goddamn. It sucks, I know, all women need to be in the stirrups at some point and we gotta just come to terms with that. It can be uncomfortable or painful (and there are options to help with that): dying from pyometra is probably worse.

They should be retesting for STIs imo, in case the first test was a false negative. They should also do imaging; ultrasound or even xray can show some soft tissue changes. I'm guessing her doctor gave her those options too, but she has decided with her mental crystal ball that those tests will come back normal.

If she truly can't handle a speculum, then she needs to find a gyno that can do a cervical exam under sedation or anesthesia. This chick really annoys me. She's this common type of patient that wants a cure now now now, is given solid options that mean she has to lift a finger or two, says "I'll do anything to get better!," and once she realizes she has to lift said finger she decides they're already wrong so why even try?

Enjoy that tranny gender euphoria, lil dood.
 
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“It’s allowed me to be able to enjoy things I’ve thought I’d never be able to”
Like what? Putting lip gloss on? Playing with your cone titties? Skirt go spinny?
 
Magic Pickle said:
Cowardly lioness: unable to save herself from being terrorized by wasp in her domicile for three fucking days, a TiF dwells shamefully about her own weapons-grade wussitude at the ripe old age of 24 years old. Other things that strike fear in her heart, she reports, range from rollercoasters and driving a vehicle to power tools and phone calls, which makes me wonder if she could even stand the sight of her shadow on a particularly clear day.
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Not even ‘she’s not a man’ - she’s not an adult or capable of living away from parents if she’s this fucking useless. At some point, you have to grow some balls (yes, you, pooner) and kill the critter so you can get on with your life. It’s easy enough to buy flying bug killer, easy enough to spray it. You don’t even have to spray it directly on the bug - just spray it into the air and leave the room, closing the door behind you.

Fuck me, these people are ridiculous. I’m horrified at how helpless the younger generations posting this stuff online are. The things they freak out about are things most of my generation learnt to do well before the age of 16 - killing bugs, buying things from shops, making phone calls, budgeting, cleaning a home and washing yourself and your clothes (yes, smelly boys included). Basic shit like changing fuses and plugs, knowing where to turn off water, gas, electricity, oil, fixing wonky door hinges and changing lightbulbs. How are these people so utterly useless at everything?

Green goo lady also needs to grow a pair and get in the stirrups. It sounds like she has a serious womb infection, and unless she wants to die of sepsis she needs to get back to the doctor and just learn to relax. Pretty sure most GPs are used to dealing with women who are nervous about pelvic exams. But she has to be a super special case, of course. And if she leaves it until she’s desperately ill, it’ll all be transphobia’s fault, I’m sure.

To be fair, a gyno is the best place for her. She might be taking stupid amounts of male hormones, but she still has a womb that needs a womb doctor’s expertise. She might even get it hauled out if things are really bad, won’t that be fortuitous for her?
 
Dolly Brooks said:
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“It’s allowed me to be able to enjoy things I’ve thought I’d never be able to”
Like what? Putting lip gloss on? Playing with your cone titties? Skirt go spinny?
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I like the therapy-pushing for wives. Just keep sending her to a therapist until she accepts you've changed your sex and she should stay with you and be attracted to you. It's so clear and simple. Or couples therapy so some 'therapist' can gang up on her with the lunatic she's married to.
 
Magic Pickle said:
Cowardly lioness: unable to save herself from being terrorized by wasp in her domicile for three fucking days, a TiF dwells shamefully about her own weapons-grade wussitude at the ripe old age of 24 years old. Other things that strike fear in her heart, she reports, range from rollercoasters and driving a vehicle to power tools and phone calls, which makes me wonder if she could even stand the sight of her shadow on a particularly clear day.
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Most women would consider her an annoying, overdramatic wimp for acting like that, forget about the men. Three days is an insane amount of time to not toughen up and kill a bug. Especially when they make sprays for the kind of thing so you don't even need to touch it.
 
Scientifically Inaccurate said:
Most women would consider her an annoying, overdramatic wimp for acting like that, forget about the men. Three days is an insane amount of time to not toughen up and kill a bug. Especially when they make sprays for the kind of thing so you don't even need to touch it.
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In a pinch if you don't have stuff like that around gassing them with disinfectant spray does the trick. Or throwing a book on them.

If spiders are around it means there are other bugs around for them to eat so paying attention to resealing things and using perimeter sprays is a good idea.

I'm also phobic of the creepy crawlies but you have to make do.
 
Scientifically Inaccurate said:
Most women would consider her an annoying, overdramatic wimp for acting like that, forget about the men. Three days is an insane amount of time to not toughen up and kill a bug. Especially when they make sprays for the kind of thing so you don't even need to touch it.
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How does a wasp get stuck in a ceiling for 3 days? Couldn’t you just seal off the hole it crawled in? How does one find and kill said wasp? I’m trying to picture it and I can’t.

I’m terrified of wasps but I can still kill them, I’m just very unhappy about it the entire time.
Side note: don’t ever get black carpet AND black curtains, it’s all fun and games until you’re wasp hunting.
 
Dolly Brooks said:
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“It’s allowed me to be able to enjoy things I’ve thought I’d never be able to”
Like what? Putting lip gloss on? Playing with your cone titties? Skirt go spinny?
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Probably one of the more confusing and disturbing trans-related breakup stories I've seen.

Leaving or divorcing a partner because you view yourself differently is one thing, but this guy had kids and probably a decently committed marriage if they made it that far with her. I cannot fathom how, after getting married and having three kids with a (presumably) loving wife, you can be so willing to throw all of that away because of how you view your gender identity all of the sudden.

"I love her more than anything, and I don't want to lose her." If you're this willing to just discard it all over whatever feelings you might be going through right now, then I severely doubt you love her as much as you claim you do.

I also find it pretty alarming how they didn't even mention their three kids beyond a passing remark. Just a "oh yeah, and I had three kids with her." No mention about how they'd be straining their relationship with their own flesh and blood, no mention of how the kids might be affected if things go poorly, no mention of what they would do to ensure their kids get a good life if this falls through. Just a passing remark about their existence and nothing more, as if they're just a background asset that'll get sorted out if a divorce is filed.

Its just such an unfathomably selfish mindset to have.

I'm starting to believe this could just be a stunt to get away from their old life and embrace their sexual deviancy, but I could be wrong.
 
Paper Machete said:
I don't have hairspray because I never use it but I might buy some cheap stuff for this purpose. Bug killing spray is a lot more expensive.
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If you're usually fighting one bug at a time, go for the Critter Catcher.

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The bristles grab the bug and hold it. Then you go outside, release the bristles and shake it around like crazy.
It looks stupid but it's great. Hang it up next to your broom and mop. No regrets. It's great for kids, too, even if they only watch you do it; no drama like with the cup trick or a swatter.
 
Aunt Carol said:
If you're usually fighting one bug at a time, go for the Critter Catcher.

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The bristles grab the bug and hold it. Then you go outside, release the bristles and shake it around like crazy.
It looks stupid but it's great. Hang it up next to your broom and mop. No regrets. It's great for kids, too, even if they only watch you do it; no drama like with the cup trick or a swatter.
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When that lil nigga teleports from the bristles to your neck, don't give up on life. Take a shower, have a cup of tea. Life is not over.
 
Shocked and Horrified said:
Hair spray is your best bug spray. It works for everything. Spiders curl up and flying things drop. They can't move and then you can beat them flat with a shoe.
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Really, anything oily and sticky works, as long as you can coat the bug. Insects breath through their shells, coating them suffocates them. WD40 works, too. Plus, if they're on concrete or outside, then you can drop a match on them and watch them burn.

Sauce: lived in the south all my life, very familiar with insects, especially cockroaches.
 
Aunt Carol said:
If you're usually fighting one bug at a time, go for the Critter Catcher.

View attachment 7963786
View attachment 7963789
The bristles grab the bug and hold it. Then you go outside, release the bristles and shake it around like crazy.
It looks stupid but it's great. Hang it up next to your broom and mop. No regrets. It's great for kids, too, even if they only watch you do it; no drama like with the cup trick or a swatter.
Click to expand...
Day after day, the need for men is replaced by technology. If we aren't even needed to save a woman from a creepy-crawly, what's left for us?
TT
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