Sean Andalou
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 13, 2024
A question of managing expectations. 
Reddit -- Archive
Key quote:

(emphasis added)
Reddit -- Archive
I've seen a lot of subtext recently across a few different communities that I wanted to bring up, particularly in posts where people are not happy with their transition progress.
Transitioning via HRT is not guaranteed to make you more attractive. I've seen a few posts where people believe their transition has failed based on their appearance, but to me they look a lot more feminine/female than their original male self. That said, they haven't transformed into Sydney Sweeney just yet in most cases.
Managing your expectations before making any permanent social or biological decisions is super important in my lowly opinion. Be prepared to end up just as conventionally attractive as you were before, or perhaps even less so in some cases.
And I beg you, don't judge the success of your transition on how hot you look in a selfie online. Gender and identity are far more complex than this.
Maybe I'm misreading or misinterpreting, or even projecting a little, so apologies if anyone feels offended by this.
Transitioning via HRT is not guaranteed to make you more attractive. I've seen a few posts where people believe their transition has failed based on their appearance, but to me they look a lot more feminine/female than their original male self. That said, they haven't transformed into Sydney Sweeney just yet in most cases.
Managing your expectations before making any permanent social or biological decisions is super important in my lowly opinion. Be prepared to end up just as conventionally attractive as you were before, or perhaps even less so in some cases.
And I beg you, don't judge the success of your transition on how hot you look in a selfie online. Gender and identity are far more complex than this.
Maybe I'm misreading or misinterpreting, or even projecting a little, so apologies if anyone feels offended by this.
Best of the comments (my choice).And I beg you, don't judge the success of your transition on how hot you look in a selfie online. Gender and identity are far more complex than this.
Wanting to be attractive is reasonable.
Using beauty standards depicted in mainstream media as a baseline for one's own attractiveness is not.
Thinking of transition in binary terms like "success" and "failure" is incredibly stupid and toxic to begin with, and making conventional attractiveness the core metric for determining that false dichotomy is not just stupid but cruel and malicious.
"Look, kid. HRT isn't going to turn you into an anime girl. You're gonna look like your mother, and that's fine; she's a very beautiful woman ...
And of course the real problem is ...It's funny you say that, given how many younger trans folks swarming r/eggs_irl and the other memey trans subs seem to obsess and overflow with gender envy directed at anime girls/(sometimes women) with unrealistic long and voluminous hair, massive badonkers and hyper-feminine faces, bodies and clothes.
(emphasis added)
it's a combo of internalized misogyny and internet community brain worms. patriarchy equates womanhood with prettiness, and devalues the womanhood of women that don't fit to conventional white patriarchal beauty standards. It's pretty pervasive in most larger online trans communities (Reddit, 4tran, etc).
