- Joined
- Feb 14, 2023
T4T transbian joy gets tricky when one of them has hormones going haywire
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Sounds like a stealth detransition.
link | archive
r/TransLater•1 day ago
UpbeatExchange3050
I'm having some hard dilemmas, with a lot of chaos mixed in and I'm wondering others' thoughts/opinions. Its not a simple situation, so im hoping background will give some context. I've tried asking a few other places, but many don't understand not being trans. Please forgive if anything is triggering, I haven't slept well in a long time.
I'm 39MTF, my s/o is 31MTF, We have been together for 7 years, and we both have some issues with ADHD. We've always kinda had an odd soft switch dynamic which i've appreciated, although often i've felt forced more into the dom/masc roles (against my wishes at times, but i've tried to do my best). She has always been the more Fem presenting and acting of the two of us. For the record, I've loved her no matter what and would take her no matter what gender/sex/whatever, and i've always expressed that love to her.
During the past 9 months my levels went haywire, E went through the roof and T was non-existant (despite my consistent doses, it was near pregnancy levels). My dr did not catch this until recently due to a failure on their end running incorrect tests and assuming all is well despite my expressed concern. Thankfully we are adjusting things to get back to a safer state.
Myself and my S/O were on injections for Estrogen, and my s/o decided she wanted to change back to sublingual E as she deemed getting injection supplies was more work than she wanted to put in. I understand the risks involved with that, and how T levels can re-surge, but sadly she wasn't willing to hear me out, nor pay attention to how she was feeling nor how her body was responding.
I tried to be kind but after like 6-8months of the drs failing to check her levels, even after my suggestions to get it checked, as changes were apparent in MANY ways, she finally did so with E at like 100 and T at 900. I was watching the woman i loved fall apart, the sweet loving person got very angry and bitter very often. There were changes, most she was not happy about, she has made some attempts to sort things, but the damage has been done and she has an uphill battle, but it has changed her in many ways.
With our body chemistry where its at, it has been a big adjustment in our dynamics, I have to let her lead and take charge on things now. I'm not against it, admittedly some aspects have been fulfilling, and adorable to watch her look after me like that at times, but along with it has come some darkness.
Things between us have strained with several breakups because her ADD is now causing many issues. Shes dopamine seeking with marijuana, alcohol, nonstop gaming and has had sex with a few random people (this has really broken me). I am at my wits end at this point. I am unsure of how to try to talk to her about things, because she keeps shutting down when i try. I want to help her however I can to get things sorted, but i feel hurt and betrayed. I'm sure she feels a bit lost like I do, but its been such a struggle. I understand what effect high T can do, and coupled with ADD, those can be hard things to stave off. I'm not trying to give her any excuses nor myself. I feel so lost, We have a life together with a house and cat, now everything just seems so uncertain, unstable and in shambles.
UpbeatExchange3050
Not really sure how to approach this, but any thoughts are helpful.
TRIGGER WARNINGI'm having some hard dilemmas, with a lot of chaos mixed in and I'm wondering others' thoughts/opinions. Its not a simple situation, so im hoping background will give some context. I've tried asking a few other places, but many don't understand not being trans. Please forgive if anything is triggering, I haven't slept well in a long time.
I'm 39MTF, my s/o is 31MTF, We have been together for 7 years, and we both have some issues with ADHD. We've always kinda had an odd soft switch dynamic which i've appreciated, although often i've felt forced more into the dom/masc roles (against my wishes at times, but i've tried to do my best). She has always been the more Fem presenting and acting of the two of us. For the record, I've loved her no matter what and would take her no matter what gender/sex/whatever, and i've always expressed that love to her.
During the past 9 months my levels went haywire, E went through the roof and T was non-existant (despite my consistent doses, it was near pregnancy levels). My dr did not catch this until recently due to a failure on their end running incorrect tests and assuming all is well despite my expressed concern. Thankfully we are adjusting things to get back to a safer state.
Myself and my S/O were on injections for Estrogen, and my s/o decided she wanted to change back to sublingual E as she deemed getting injection supplies was more work than she wanted to put in. I understand the risks involved with that, and how T levels can re-surge, but sadly she wasn't willing to hear me out, nor pay attention to how she was feeling nor how her body was responding.
I tried to be kind but after like 6-8months of the drs failing to check her levels, even after my suggestions to get it checked, as changes were apparent in MANY ways, she finally did so with E at like 100 and T at 900. I was watching the woman i loved fall apart, the sweet loving person got very angry and bitter very often. There were changes, most she was not happy about, she has made some attempts to sort things, but the damage has been done and she has an uphill battle, but it has changed her in many ways.
With our body chemistry where its at, it has been a big adjustment in our dynamics, I have to let her lead and take charge on things now. I'm not against it, admittedly some aspects have been fulfilling, and adorable to watch her look after me like that at times, but along with it has come some darkness.
Things between us have strained with several breakups because her ADD is now causing many issues. Shes dopamine seeking with marijuana, alcohol, nonstop gaming and has had sex with a few random people (this has really broken me). I am at my wits end at this point. I am unsure of how to try to talk to her about things, because she keeps shutting down when i try. I want to help her however I can to get things sorted, but i feel hurt and betrayed. I'm sure she feels a bit lost like I do, but its been such a struggle. I understand what effect high T can do, and coupled with ADD, those can be hard things to stave off. I'm not trying to give her any excuses nor myself. I feel so lost, We have a life together with a house and cat, now everything just seems so uncertain, unstable and in shambles.
Sounds like a stealth detransition.









