We did finally conceive our second child about 13 weeks ago, basically with the understanding that we both still want another child no matter how things pan out with our relationship. Now her hormones are of course going wild and she’s ill or exhausted all of the time. This has made it even harder for her to cope with what’s going on with me. She feels like I’m being selfish and my head isn’t with our growing family. Truth is I often think she is right about that.
We are in couples therapy and I try to keep her updated on my mental state and desire for transition on a regular basis, which she has repeatedly asked me to do, but then falls apart when I tell her.
She has made it clear that she isn’t attracted to women, can’t see herself in a marriage with one, and doesn’t want to lose the man she married. She hasn’t out and out given any ultimatums, but the writing is on the wall, “change too much, and we are through”. She says that all of her dreams for a future are fading away. I’ve told her that I will hold off on anything more than hair removal and exploring clothing until at least after the baby is here, but that doesn’t help much. She still just feels like it’s a ticking time bomb waiting to blow up in her face.