I’d like to at least get recognized as a trans woman and not just a younger gay man….
Discussion (
self.TransLater)
NoLynInBrooklyn
I just finished my first shift as myself, I’m hired as a bartender but you usually start out training as a server. Today all I did was run food out to tables. If you ate food from 4-10 today it was delivered by ya girl. The staff, and even the patrons were all very nice, a few servers asked my pronouns and a few misgendered me but never more than the first time. The customers at every. Single. Table. Hit me with ‘sir’ ‘brother’ or ‘man’. This is a surprisingly lgbt friendly neighborhood, they were all polite, it just didn’t even cross their mind that I could possibly be trying to present feminine.
The thing is, the uniform is a solid colored tee (or licensed beer/liquor shirts) and jeans. I’m six foot two with very broad shoulders and unfortunately pretty defined arms and shoulders since the doctors messed up the testosterone they had been giving me when I was presenting as a cis man with low t and gave me too much (I tested at >1500 on my initial appt for gender affirming care, the doctor there was livid)
I went with a pretty light foundation and subtle eyeliner to match my shirt because I didn’t want to come in and introduce myself looking like I was trying too hard, I also straight up forgot to color correct for my beard shadow until it was too late. I’m wearing a necklace, earrings, bracelets (one bracelet is a heart with the trans flag and it’s also the background on my watch). I’m still waiting for my referral to speech therapy to go through, but I made an effort to soften my voice and slightly raise the pitch, I had to do it in a sustainable way so I could make it all the way through though so it wasn’t perfect. I don’t have any illusions, or even particularly care at this point about passing as a cis woman, but it would be nice if it could at least be somewhat apparent that I’m presenting feminine. I just think with jeans and a tshirt anything I can do will just make me look… more the stereotypical sitcom effeminate gay man than it will make me actually look feminine.