It depends on whether your growth plates have fused or whatever it's called. I stopped growing around 12, got on T at 13, haven't grown at all. But I've heard of people still gaining some height in their 20s. A doctor actually predicted I wouldn't grow because my female puberty hit me hard and fast (and young). But I have a friend whose puberty started later and was slower to take full effect, if she was a trans guy I bet T would increase her height a little tbh.
I've only ever met three LGBTQ+ cis men, and two of them are my (married) uncles (consequently, just being simply "gay" makes me the least uncomfortable...). I know it's irrational but it feels like the LGBTQ+ community is for women and AFABs. And yes, I am AFAB, but I don't want to connect with that fact because y'know it makes me dysphoric, I don't want there to be a distinction between me and cis men other than my medical history which is unavoidable.
I've also been bullied in the past for being in LGBTQ+ spaces as a man, even after coming out as a gay trans man because "you look cishet"
All of this is made worse by the realization I actually relate strongly to a more "niche" label for my romantic orientation (I believe it's technically on the aro spectrum? idk) which just makes me feel even worse because I've only ever heard of women and AFAB people using lesser known labels
(All of this also actually applies to being openly neurodivergent as well, except I know plenty of neurodivergent cis men. Still makes me dysphoric tbh)
I'd also like to add that I'm 4'11 and very weak and emotionally sensitive. So yes I get bullied as a man for things that are cute in women. In addition to this, my mom is a LITERAL "kill all men" type of woman. She's said that exact phrase (and literally once assaulted my father to the point of breaking bones, and when I began to dial 911, laughed in my face and screamed that I'd be stuck with her without protection if police came because she's a woman and men are all "filthy pigs who deserve to be locked up like animals, the cops will see that" or something along those lines, possibly slight paraphrasing as trauma blurred the memory. Either way, you can see how I'd end up in misandrist circles with a mother like that)
So I, a trans man, have considered myself a bottom for years. I'm a virgin but enjoy anal masturbation and don't have a dick so I kinda figured that was that.
But over the past few months or so I've found myself more and more interested in topping. It's not about the physical stimulation since I'd have to use a prosthetic, but I've realized my love of watching bottoms enjoy themselves goes beyond living vicariously through them.
When all AFAB trans people are called transmasc it just really makes me feel invalidated and frustrated and upset.
I don't consider myself masculine. I'm not exactly feminine, either, but that's mostly because I don't have a choice. Ideally I'd be putting feminine clothes (skirts, crop tops, that kinda thing) over a masculine body (not just male but I don't shave most of my body hair, I have a beard, etc). I don't know what term exactly I'd use, I often say "part time femboy", after top surgery I might try shaving and going full femboy cos I won't need the hair to pass tbh. We'll see
But whatever I am, I'm not masculine. I didn't transition to be masculine. I'm actually way more feminine than I was before I transitioned. I'm a MAN, I'm a binary man, he/him only, but I'm not masculine.
I'm really broken inside right now, it's always been a dream of mine to get in shape. I've always wanted to be the kind of person who exercises regularly, I've always wanted to be strong (and attractive wouldn't hurt...). I thought, after finally finding out I have myasthenia, that would be the final piece, that I'd be able to do it. But even on medication, starting as slow as I possibly can, I just can't do it.
I'll probably die of heart disease before 30 without being able to exercise (I live in the US, so, keeping healthy with diet alone is basically impossible for someone with too little energy to cook as well as keep up with everything else), and I'll always be pathetically weak and ugly... But I guess it is what it is.
So I was reading a study about testosterone in trans men causing prostate tissue development, sometimes into "well developed" glands.
I'm curious, has anyone on HRT had experience with this happening? I've wondered if it could be happening to me since I'm nearing 5 years on T. My lack of prostate causes me a lot of dysphoria as I also consider myself a gay bottom. I've noticed some... Differences... With that lately, so I'm wondering if anyone's confirmed having prostate tissue if it ends up being sensitive, similar to a cis guy's? I don't know if it's worth talking to a doctor about since I'm not worried about potential health issues currently.
Okay, hear me out. So I'm AFAB, a trans guy. 100% sure of my identity, completely male. I came out and started medically transitioning at 13 (no, I don't know how I managed to pull that... No surgeries, just HRT. The miracles of trans-affirming parents and a doctor who read a lot of depressing statistics I guess).
Anyway growing up I was petrified of femininity. Irrational anger at stuff like nail polish and the colour pink. As soon as I was out I started presenting fully masculine and continued being allergic to femininity, though over time I got less upset about other people being feminine near me (before coming out I was always scared of getting dragged into "girly" group activities).
Since I came out so young, I was raised as a teenage boy. This only enforced this fear of being feminine, multiplied by the dysphoria and feeling like I needed to prove I'm a real man. I do feel like I truly have had the male "growing up" experience for the most part, at least since 13, since people sometimes literally forget I'm AFAB, even friends and family who all knew me before. I don't know why my parents accept me being trans yet still enforced strict gender roles, but meh at least it was affirming.
But over the past few months, I've started feeling very differently. I still identify completely as male, but sometimes I want to be seen as a feminine male. I'm still comfortable looking masc, I still want top surgery, I still adore my facial hair (ever since it started growing in I can even self soothe by just feeling it's there, it's great) and am so glad I got to have male puberty at a time a cis guy might've.
But... I also want tall socks and boots, maybe leggings/tights, and whenever I get a new binder that works properly I'd love to wear crop tops and such, or the exact opposite, aka a long shirt that's not quite a dress but I could wear without pants and be decent yknow, that kind of thing. And I've grown my hair out a little, just sorta stopped cutting it from the borderline military cut I'd had before. I don't want long hair but I'm loving the more fluffy medium-ish length.
I don't think I'm comfortable enough for full on dresses, skirts, nail polish, or makeup. I'm also generally not into jewelry of any kind, not as a masc/fem thing I just don't like it.
I've thought about shaving my legs so they look better in feminine leg gear but I'm pretty sure that'd cause dysphoria. I'm worried about anything that'd cross the line from "feminine male" to "female" as far as my appearance goes, basically.
I just think I'd look best as a femboy. I'm very short, with a narrow waist that curves out into my hips. My shoulders are slim as a man, but for AFAB standards they could be considered broad. Face definitely looks male especially with facial hair, but in a slightly more delicate way. I wouldn't say I'm super attractive, but could be worse, and I definitely do look worse when I'm trying to pretend to be some macho strong guy, honestly.
The aesthetic I'm going for is cute and pretty, but still male, without having to hide my body. Currently my best bet for cute is just oversized sweaters and sweatpants and stuff, which I also like, but doesn't help my confidence to hide away so much and isn't effective in the summer. Plus that's exclusively cute, not pretty (or like, attractive, yknow).
So yeah, the whole point of this post is to ask, is this... Okay? For me to be both masc and fem, while being AFAB yet male? It's just such a mess. Also, can femboys keep facial hair and body hair and still "count"? Is it ever appealing?
And if the answer to all of those is "yes"... Any tips for feminity without flowy outfits (dresses, skirts, etc)? I keep finding out feminine clothes exist that I'd never heard of before (that aren't full on dresses and stuff) and tend to get really excited about it even if I decide it's not for me. Right now I've just got some shirts that're a bit too long, long underwear that I just use as leggings with those shirts, and knee high socks, but when I move out (at most in a few months) I'd love to have more if it's not offensive to cis femboys or other trans people for me to do so...
