–]TheG33k123 1 point 16 minutes ago
Wanting someone to be free to experiment and express themselves outside of your relationship where you're not attracted to that side of them is the responsible thing to do here??? wtf is wrong with your friends, if your partner is transfem, 1- you have no right to keep her from transitioning and 2- your partner has no right to keep you in a relationship to someone you aren't attracted to. Simple as.
[–]Tranthecthual 1 point 36 minutes ago
lol, this is the plot of Envy/Desire.
[–]tsLunaaria 3 points an hour ago
You’re not wrong for not wanting the relationship anymore and Your friends also are insane. But at the same time, you’re kind of being toxic Just because you’re not into whatever he is anymore doesn’t mean it has anything to do with whether people with certain body types actually have dysphoria or deserve to transition
[–]Sea_Week3423 3 points 2 hours ago
Lmao sister run wthhhh
[–]skinnythiccchic 3 points 2 hours ago
you're allowed allowed to date only who you want to be with. it's not fair to hold someone else back from the life they could have just bc you feel you must. this may not be popular in our community, but i'll stand on it - NO MAN has to date me bc im trans. i don't want him to. bc i simply wouldn't date him. there are many reason we don't like to be with someone. we are not obligated to be with anyone & they aren't us.
im repulsed by a man who shows me he is afraid of me, & many are. i would never allow a man like this to fall his life into mine when i don't fully respect him. im a better person than that.
my thoughts on marriage might be different as im old school - but this is a boyfriend. the part you figure these things out. even then divorce is sometimes necessary.
[–]KnowledgeSeekerKALEO 7 points 5 hours ago
You are attracted to him as a man. So… ok. If his crossdress was just kink… then it’s just a kink. But he is taking HRT… so he no longer wants to be a guy. Then in this case…
I think he has a classic case of autogynephilia.
ts1416 9 points 5 hours ago
I feel exactly the same way. When I’m with a man, I want him to be a man. I wouldn’t sign up for a cross dresser, especially one who has started HRT.
I would support them, I would want them to live their truth and be happy, but it would be as a friend.
For a few reasons, I wouldn’t be attracted to them. It would give me the idea they are dating me because of envy and wanted to be me, I would hate this. Finally I know how crazy I was when I first started transitioning, I wouldn’t date someone early transition. I’m worried we would grow apart.
Your feelings are valid. You’re not stopping him from living his life, you’re just not wanting to be with him which I think is fine
[–]GlassBirdLamp 8 points 5 hours ago
You are not a hypocrite for respecting someone's gender identity and not wanting to date them because you aren't attracted to said gender. The audacity of some ppl lol.
[–]Kirikomori 0 points 5 hours ago
I don't think its hypocritical at all. You're straight, you want to date a man, not a woman. He has been hiding a very significant piece of information from you- this would be a form of betrayal or dishonesty even if it wasn't about crossdressing. It would be a different story if he was upfront about his gender dysphoria at the start of dating him.
[–]CommercialShare7480 14 points 5 hours ago
Your friends are transphobic. They expect you to not have any standards because you are a trans woman. Disgusting.
Ok-Maize2418 0 points 6 hours ago
As for your second question, you can never know for certain your bf or husband doesn’t crossdress, just like you can never know that he will never cheat on you or leave you. Relationships are about putting your faith in another human. Regardless, here’s a tip from a straight trans woman who’s been transitioning for 3+ years- the best thing to do is to stop dating for masculine status. Chasing after the straight, cis, white, tall, rich men to affirm your own gender is not going to work. A) the hypermasculine men usually have a reason as to why they’re so insecure in their manhood and B) just start dating the men you LIKE not the ones who make you FEEL valid
[–]almorranas_podridas 1 point 5 hours ago
There is a huge difference between attracting an egg because you're trans and being cheated on because you are human and relationships fail. The two things have different degrees of probability. Also, who said anything about white or race? Lastly, I can't change what I am attracted to. I am only attracted to masculine men. I can't help it.
[–]Jocelyn1975 5 points 6 hours ago
I had this happen on a trip with my ex boyfriend. I had no idea. He popped out of the bathroom in full femme head to toe as a surprise to me. Well I was surprised! I just kinda grinned a beared with them and indulged them. They did plan to transition (found that out the same night). This sent me spinning in my head. I felt like I was just cover for him and he was not up front.
I let it drag on despite my own reservation and lack of attraction (I didn’t want to hurt them or feel like a hypocrite ). Well, I finally broke down and broke up which was all the worse because I let time pass by and buried my feelings. We are still friends but not romantic. They’ve started and stopped HRT since our break up. I still try to offer support as much as I can. Per their words “this transition thing is harder than I thought”… for real hun. For real.
[–]Minarosebbyy 3 points 6 hours ago
No why should we accept anything a cis women wouldn’t just because we are trans? Also you can’t force yourself to be attracted to feminine men. I definitely couldn’t do it even if I tried