Culture Tinder introduces height verification - Or OP falls for an early April Fools joke

  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
https://blog.gotinder.com/introducing-height-verification/ | archive

Introducing Height Verification
29 MARCH 2019
Say goodbye to height fishing.
Let’s be real, when it comes to online dating — honesty is the best policy. Yes, your height matters as long as every other shallow aspect of physical attraction does. Please try not to take it to heart.
It’s come to our attention that most of you 5’10ers out there are actually 5’6. The charade must stop. This type of dishonestly doesn’t just hurt your matches — it hurts us, too. Did it ever occur to you that we’re 5’6 and actually love our medium height? Did it ever occur to you that honesty is what separates humans from sinister monsters? Of course not.
You were only thinking of yourself. Well, height-lying ends here. To require everyone under 6’ to own up to their real height, we’re bringing truthfulness back into the world of online dating.
Introducing Tinder’s Height Verification Badge (HVB), because yes -- sometimes it matters
It’s the tool we’ve had in our back-pockets for years, but we were hoping your honesty would allow us to keep it there. Our verification tool is super easy to use, and extremely hard to misuse.
Here’s how it works:
Simply input your true, accurate height with a screenshot of you standing next to any commercial building. We’ll do some state-of-the-art verifying and you’ll receive your badge directly on your profile.
710677
Oh, and by the way? Only 14.5% of the U.S. male population is actually 6’ and beyond. So, we’re expecting to see a huge decline in the 80% of males on Tinder who are claiming that they are well over 6 feet. That’s fine by us — as long as we’re all living our truths.
Tinder’s HVB is coming soon to a phone near you.
 
Guess if you're not 6'2 or taller with Chad-tier looks and 7+ inches, you should just leave tinder right now (suicide optional)
 
What a shame for manlets. Now women can metaphorically as well as physically overlook them. While most of them have become incels and NEETs over their foid rage, some, I assume, are good people. Hopefully, they can find a cool girl who doesn't care.
 
Can you tell the difference between 5'9" and 5'10"? If you're lying about be 6'1" when you're actually 5'8" then I'd agree that's pathetic, but I really don't give a shit about guys rounding up their height, especially if they're still going to be taller than most girls anyway.


Of course I wouldn't notice an inch but in principle it matters, I want honesty from my men. Which happens to be in short supply these days.

Sad!
 
I'm of two minds.

On one hand, this a service Tinder can provide that ensures the quality of "date" satisfaction is higher, so why wouldn't they do it? It can only make women (who I assume are in shorter supply than men, on Tinder and on every dating app/site) more comfortable using it, and that can only help Tinder make money. Everyone is happier except manlets, and who cares about manlets?

On the other hand, if he says he's 6'3" and shows up carrying an apple crate and looking like Destiny, just put on your big girl pants, turn around, and walk out since he lied about his height and might have lied about something else. Why do we need the app to do that for us? And what else, in the future, will Tinder have to also verify so we never have to feel like the bad guy? (Guaranteed to be next: income verification. It's literally rape when a guy lies about being rich to get laid.)

Or maybe, in that same scenario and if you feel like it, sit down and perhaps find out you two have a lot in common anyway despite the one flaw. Basically, instead of custom ordering the perfect date (as if we really know who's best for us before we meet them) and filtering out tons of potential partners who don't perfectly fit all our arbitrary requirements (i.e. you're looking for a girl between 21 and 25, and your perfect match turned 26 yesterday so you never meet her) maybe give it a shot anyway. There is a non-zero chance some people who do that will be pleasantly surprised, and I'm sure a lot of good relationships start between technically imperfect matches.

Conclusion: destroy all thots.
 
Last edited:
This better be an april fools joke or I'm going to delete my tinder for real.
It is. The technology they're describing is infeasible.
Come on guys, stand next to "any commercial building" and it'll figure out your height? How the fuck would it know the height of the building and a million other things?
Think critically.
 
Last edited:
It is. The technology they're describing is infeasible.
Come on guts, stand next to "any commercial building" and it'll figure out your height? How the fuck would it know the height of the building and a million other things?
Think critically.

Manlets will just start subreddits sharing info on unconventional buildings that trick the sensors.

Life finds a way...
 
It is. The technology they're describing is infeasible.
Come on guts, stand next to "any commercial building" and it'll figure out your height? How the fuck would it know the height of the building and a million other things?
Think critically.

Geographical data is very well developed and commercial buildings are almost comprehensively mapped. Given a GPS location you can match the photo to the correct building easily. Technology to map the contents of a photo to a 3D space is also well developed, particularly due to research in augmented reality and, of course, mapping itself. Google Street View uses it a lot. Once you have the building's dimensions and the person mapped into the same 3D space, you can measure him.

Tinder is a tech company. They breathe this stuff.
 
Simply input your true, accurate height with a screenshot of you standing next to any commercial building. We’ll do some state-of-the-art verifying and you’ll receive your badge directly on your profile.

There have been a plethora of books, magazines, and articles dedicated to tricking people into believing something is not the size it is.
Giggity.

Shit, when Klutz was pumping out activity/artsncrafts/hobby books for kids, they had multiple ones on forced perspective.
 
...this is one of those straight people things, isn't it. If Grindr introduced a version of this, it would be figuring out how much suction you could apply to your phone.
 
Geographical data is very well developed and commercial buildings are almost comprehensively mapped. Given a GPS location you can match the photo to the correct building easily. Technology to map the contents of a photo to a 3D space is also well developed, particularly due to research in augmented reality and, of course, mapping itself. Google Street View uses it a lot. Once you have the building's dimensions and the person mapped into the same 3D space, you can measure him.

Tinder is a tech company. They breathe this stuff.
I know that, but what about shadows, the sun, weird shoes, and a million other things?
The basic idea is totally doable, but saying that you've certified something implies another level of certainty that they just can't provide, and people who are going to lie about their heights will just take the 5 extra minutes to trick the system.
I guess it's possible their marketing team is massively overselling this, in which case I look forward to a million dumbass thinkpieces.
 
So will weight verification, STD verification, and vagina mileage estimation be in the next update? Are they already on the PTR?
 
(Guaranteed to be next: income verification. It's literally rape when a guy lies about being rich to get laid.)
Dog verification: is that actually your dog in the picture?
Fish/deer verification: did you actually catch/shoot that?
Car/motorcycle verification: is that actually your car/motorcycle?
Penis inspection: exact measurements to the nanometer.
Hair inspection: is your hair real?
Eye color verification: brown or human?
Guitar verification: are you able to play that guitar (not wonderwall)?
"Have you experienced sex?" verification: you have consensually had sex with a woman without direct monetary payment.
Home verification: where you live down to the square foot :lol:
Body fat verification: 10% or below or just neck yourself.
...
Sure I'm missing some, feel free to chime in folks
 
So a few thoughts.

I consider Tinder cancer, because it's honestly a huge waste of time. There are already better dating apps on the market, especially if your looking for a quick smash, where as Tinder is a lot of effort even for good looking guys with little ROI.

I also wouldn't even call it a dating app at this point, because it's not, you don't go on to Tinder to meet long term dating prospects, and even if you did your honestly better served by actually going out there and finding social events not impinging on just drinking and meeting people.

At the very least it gets you outside of the house, gets the phone out of your hands for a couple of hours, and gets you socializing with people, even if your not successful, it's better than clicking because at least your using some level of social skills and learning. (People who are hyper one or the other can work through it, it's just a case of challenging themselves to do it.)

As for Tinder I welcome height restrictions, why not, if we're going to fuck around with the algorithms, can we also have a way to block landwhales, militant feminists, and the other milieu of undesirable women that make up the other 98 percent of tinder outside of the thots?
 
Back
Top Bottom