The worst situation ever!

[The Curmudgeon]

Imagine if every lolcow ever discussed on this website teamed up, found out where you lived, and then they marched to your house, barged in and demanded you have an orgy with them. Even if you disagree, they would force you to do it anyway.

This is your ultimatum:

1) Either take your one window of opportunity to escape, but the downside is you'd be on the run forever as all the lolcows make a concerted effort to track you down and fuck you, or;

2) You stay, submit, and have the worst experience you could have ever imagined. After that, every lolcow would have unlimited personal access to your whole life from then on out.

There are no other options. It's not a dream, hallucination, or whatever.

What do you do?

 

[POWER IN MISERY]

suck my own dick

 

[seri0us]

Whatever turns you on, bud.

 

[deso2y]

Jokes on them, I have a detailed contingency plan for every single lolcow on this site (including you, OP)

 

[Knight of the Rope]

but the downside is you'd be on the run forever as all the lolcows make a concerted effort to track you down and fuck you

Isn't this just Dear Leader's life?

 

[Crunchy Oats]

I'd call the police

 

[Coelacanth]

Most of them wouldn't even be able to jump the fence into my yard - giving me plenty of time to call the police. The only trouble is I live in England where laughing at lolcows is illegal so I'd probably be sent to jail instead.

 

[DerKryptid]

I would plant C4 all over my yard in the name of Allah

 

[Penis Drager]

I would participate in the orgy in the form of me going at it with Shoe0nHead in the sidelines while the lovecraftian mass of flesh does its thing. Any subsequent orgy would go largely the same way, but maybe switching it up with that Twitch thot that lets her dog hump her on stream or something.

 

[Rungle]

cast magic missle