The Worst Games you've ever played

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fuzzypickles

fuzzypickles

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Dec 10, 2013
A long time ago, I got curious after watching the Nostalgia Critic episode where he played Bebe's Kids. I decided to download the game and give it a try. That's when I realized just how bad the game was; I quit before I could get past the first level. I also decided it would be good idea to play "The Wizard of Oz" after the AVGN reviewed it and showed how wretched it was.

Besides the terrible games I've played after hearing of how bad they were, I remember a Micro Machines game on the Nintendo 64 that sucked pretty bad.

What were the worst games you've played?
 
The recent Tomb Raider reboot is up there.

Not so much because the game was bad. I thought it was really well polished. Moreso because of how I thought I bought a Tomb Raider game, and what I got was Uncharted with boobs. There were more QTEs than instances where I pressed the jump button.

I never finished it, I was so sad I spent money on it. Tomb Raider used to be a series of complex platforming and puzzle games, now it's reduced to a piddling mess where it has to imitate other games to just survive.
 
Sonic 06, what's sad is that I remember seeing how awesome the previews and ads looked for it, and then just being totally let down by it.
 
Thinking over what the worst game I played is rather hard, since I have played a bad game or two such as Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde via emulation. Still if I were to give that game a name, it's either Gothic 3: Forsaken Gods or Ultima IX. Never have I played game that I honestly felt may have tried to, in some nebulous but paranoid feeling, mess up my computer (Forsaken Gods) or literally made me feel like crap that I had to do something unspeakable like writing a fan-fic based of MLP (Ultima IX). In Ultima IX's case, despite spending very little money from the thrift store, I felt like I wasted time, energy, and disk space playing it. Even if attacks depend on dexterity, I felt that casting the "shooty rock" spell was better since it was a guaranteed hit if I put the cursor on an enemy. I may not be into the Ultima series and I may be an outsider to it whose knowledge comes from TV Tropes and Spoony but with God as my witness, Ultima IX is one of the worst games I played and it's one of the worst sequels, especially to an old video-game series that brought innovation with one of its previous entries.
 
Postal 3. The game was designed by Akella's backup team, since they couldn't hire their good programmers because of a Russian recession. The game turned out to be a buggy mess that felt like a rehash of POSTAL 2, but nowhere as good. Akella didn't have the writing ability of Running With Scissors either, so the humour was a lot more hit-and-miss than POSTAL 2. The worst part is, it runs on the Source engine, but the models crash SFM and the textures are broken on GMod.
And there were really good citizen and Osama Bin Laden models in there, too.
 
spaps said:
Postal 3. The game was designed by Akella's backup team, since they couldn't hire their good programmers because of a Russian recession. The game turned out to be a buggy mess that felt like a rehash of POSTAL 2, but nowhere as good. Akella didn't have the writing ability of Running With Scissors either, so the humour was a lot more hit-and-miss than POSTAL 2. The worst part is, it runs on the Source engine, but the models crash SFM and the textures are broken on GMod.
And there were really good citizen and Osama Bin Laden models in there, too.
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RWS also disowned Postal 3.

Postal 2 was largely a satire of how politicians saw video games. Especially with how it was designed from the ground up to be possible to complete without killing a single enemy. Postal 3 was just a generic game that rode on the coattails of it's predecessor, while lacking in the intelligence and charm.
 
"Color a Dinosaur"--NES. This game was released after Mario Paint on the SNES. Basically imagine a game that has no fun, you can place only four tiles on a screen, and then imagine trying to draw with the NES controller, and you have Color a Dinosaur.

"Rocky and Bullwinkle"--NES. A platformer with no real goal. Bullwinkle dies very quickly. Boris Baddenoff seems to be everywhere at once.

"The Uncanny X-Men"--NES. I don't even know how to describe "Uncanny X-Men." It's a top-down perspective of the X-Men fighting robots, except that the robots are all super-powered and half of the X-Men seem to have no powers at all. Nightcrawler, Wolverine and Colossus all have a "punch" attack, while Storm, Iceman and Cyclops all have a "beam" attack. Guess which half of the team you're going to use?

"The Punisher"--NES. Somehow, LJN managed to turn a game about an angry man who murders things into a very boring, very slow side-scroller where Frank Castle and Nick Fury shoot at offensive interpretations to inner-city poverty.

"Wolverine"--NES. Another LJN offering, Wolverine goes through monochrome environments, fights what looks like clones of the Silver Surfer and . . . eats cheeseburgers? No, I'm not making that up.

"Search for Convoy"--Famicom. One of the first "Transformers" video games ever made, you step into the robo-boots of Ultra Magnus as he searches for a missing Optimus Prime. Unfortunately, transforming into a truck is way less awesome that it sounds, and you also die with one hit. I couldn't even get past the first enemy, because--no shit--you're a car transport truck and the first enemy in the game is an F-15 fighter jet. It goes about as well as you would expect.

"Gex 64: Enter the Gecko"--N64. a late '90s mascot for a failed video game system gets ported to the N64, except with terrible camera controls, barf-worthy graphics and enough fog to make Silent Hill look like a day in Honolulu. I somehow managed to beat Gex 64, mostly out of spite.

"Morph-X"--Xbox 360. In 2008, a team of Russian developers decided to program a game about a soldier who becomes mutated during a zombie outbreak and then release it on the Xbox 360. Unfortunately, the end result looks like something out of an early N64 game. But more than that, Morph-X tries very hard to integrate things like power-ups and leveling into its terrible gameplay, and fails on all counts. I hate Morph-X with every fiber of my being.

Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad--Xbox 360. A game about two scantily-clad sisters who go and kill zombies. And . . . that's about as far as it goes. The gameplay is pretty mediocre, but is at least a little more competent than Morph-X. I gave up on Onechanbara after I entered a motorcycle racing segment, and realized that the motorcycles handled just like the dismounted characters.

Ace Combat: Assault Horizon--Xbox 360. I was all prepped to like this game, but then I got to a part where I was piloting an Apache helicopter and doing a barrel roll is actually encouraged in order to avoid RPGS. HELICOPTERS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY. :C
 
Da Pickle Monsta said:
"Gex 64: Enter the Gecko"--N64. a late '90s mascot for a failed video game system gets ported to the N64, except with terrible camera controls, barf-worthy graphics and enough fog to make Silent Hill look like a day in Honolulu. I somehow managed to beat Gex 64, mostly out of spite.
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Did you try the PS1 Gex games? I thought they were actually pretty good.
 
I downloaded and played the two Back to the Future games on the NES a good 11 or 12 years ago shortly after learning of their existence. I quit both games in a hurry seeing as how they had nothing to do with the movies I love.
 
MysticMisty said:
I downloaded and played the two Back to the Future games on the NES a good 11 or 12 years ago shortly after learning of their existence. I quit both games in a hurry seeing as how they had nothing to do with the movies I love.
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http://www.gog.com/game/back_to_the_future_the_game

There has been a new one produced quite recently. Made with the blessings of the original creators.
 
Dr. Cuddlebug said:
MysticMisty said:
I downloaded and played the two Back to the Future games on the NES a good 11 or 12 years ago shortly after learning of their existence. I quit both games in a hurry seeing as how they had nothing to do with the movies I love.
Click to expand...
http://www.gog.com/game/back_to_the_future_the_game

There has been a new one produced quite recently. Made with the blessings of the original creators.
Click to expand...
Yeah I have it on Steam. Need to complete one of these days. Super Back to the Future Part II on the SNES is playable if you don't mind the super deformed character style. But the two NES games left such a bad taste in my mouth I had to mention them.
 
MysticMisty said:
I downloaded and played the two Back to the Future games on the NES a good 11 or 12 years ago shortly after learning of their existence. I quit both games in a hurry seeing as how they had nothing to do with the movies I love.
Click to expand...

I actually completed the first game and God, the game is terrible because of exactly what AVGN said about the game: repetitive and terrible music, repetitive gameplay and the game has really nothing to do with the movie.
The final part where you have to drive the DeLorean to 88mph is very difficult and I took like more than 5 tries to beat it.

Anyway, for me, it's DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE FOR THE NES BECAUSE AVGN SAID SO!!!!11!! Big Rigs Over The Road Racing, Action 52 and Plumbers Don't Wear Ties. However, I find these games so horribly bad that they're so horribly good like trainwrecks. The first one is a horrible "racing" game but I liked and laughed at the horrible parts (awful physics, driving through obstacles, reversing and spinning). The second one is a compilation of poorly designed games, haven't played it for months but I did finish some games from the 52 games (e.g. Ooze). The third one is an "adventure game" with quite a lot of funny, ridiculous and memorable moments. Just play it on YouTube to see how "so horrible it's so good" it is.
 
I can't really remember any that are outright bad that I've seriously played. I've played some of the old bad NES games, but I can't really count that as 'played'. It was more, "Let's play for five minutes, say 'yep, it's as terrible as they say' and then delete the rom."

I could talk about my biggest video game-related disappointment, but that's not this thread.
 
Games Master 10000. It was like Action 52 but for the computer, and instead of 52 shitty minigames it had 10,000 (although many of them were actually the exact same game).
 
I'm not that harsh a game critic, but Tomb Raider Underworld was SUCH a massive letdown. Legend left off on a promising note, only to end the story with this shit. It's a real shame.
 
I dun goofed and posted Sonic 06 in the wrong section, but that's not the worst game I've ever played. Several LJN titles for NES were worse.
 
I think people should bare in mind back during the NES era there were basically very few standards on video games, and developers were just coming off all video games being this.

SpaceInvaders-Gameplay.gif


There were very few standards and most developers were just ordinary guys like you or I who knew jack shit about programming or testing. The games themselves were made on pre-windows PCs and only like 3 or 4 people worked on them. There was no real higher standards to video games at the time.

Games today are made with million dollar budgets with hundreds of staff on PCs that are designed to crank out lines of code on demand. There's now a higher standard, and I generally feel it is more impactful when a shitty game comes out in this era of gaming than the last era. Since before developers were naive, but they now don't really have that excuse anymore.
 
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