UK The UK Police Megathread - They may need to check your thinking - A butter knife to the chest will kill as surely as a Bayonet

The UK Police a fine body of men and women, that for various reasons seem addicted to being an international laughing stock. Poor judgement, self pity, angry bouts of rage, interspaced with cravenly rolling over when challenged. Much of which they document themselves on their social media of choice, Twitter. Like so many lolcows, they have no ability to analyse or modify their behavior and instead when criticised will double down.

Yes I realise sections of the Police do a good job, serious crime is investigated by the grown ups. However this thread mainly concerns the day to day public policing, and the highly politicized hierarchy of the Police,

Outside the UK the Police are most infamous for their handling of various Muslim child grooming gangs. Books could be written on the subject so I'll just leave this here.

Then there's the police love of hate crimes. There are a few different reasons for this, partly it's to compensate for their handling of the Stephen Lawrence murder. However the police have discovered that investigating (particularly online) hate crimes, has significant advantages. Unlike the typical burglar, often suspects in hate crimes have jobs, families and something to lose, also the complainants are typically well motivated and often get support from various organisation such as Hope Not Hate ,Tell Mama or Stonewall.

Due to legal Aid cuts, and the reluctance of UK solicitors to take cases like this, people will often accept a caution at the first opportunity. If they don't the police have other tactics, such as turning up at your workplace, just to ask Questions such as in the case of Harry Miller a guy who got in a twitter row with Suzy Green of the Trans children's charity Mermaids

Also at one point there weren't getting enough complaints rolling in, which was a problem as an actual complaint is a legal requirement before they can investigate. However Liverpool police found a way around this with the assistance of Constable Dominique Walker, It's PC Walker's job to be offended and make complaints. 19 Year old Chelsea Russell was convicted of a hate crime in 2018 for posting Snoop Dogg lyrics on Facebook after her best friend died, PC Walker was on hand to make a complaint as no member of the public was petty enough to want to.

So why are they funny?

Well there's the contrast between what they'll put up with from certain sections of the community

versus how they treat other members of the public

Then there's the way they've decided to tackle the Knife Crime epidemic.

Currently the Police are covering themselves in glory as they tackle COVID19. The police have struggled at the highest levels to tell the difference between government advice and actual law. Here's the Chief constable of Northhampton Police flat out saying that he may decide to check people's shopping baskets for non essential items.

Even though he must have recognised the thing he was talking into was a video camera, he spent the rest of the day denying he'd said it. While at the same time retweeting Toadie underlings who defended him.

There's so much more though, the Police's worst scandals, while serious have often tended to be quite farcical. Such as Plebgate where the Police Officers on duty at downing street decided it would be clever to leak a story to the Sun Newspaper accusing a government minister of calling them plebs, because they were all exceptional they gave overly detailed statements which ended up being contradicted by CCTV(which they had somehow forgotten that Downing street had a lot of) This ended with the Prime Minister making a statement saying the Police had issues with 'honesty'.

The Stephen Lawrence murder investigation spiraled out of control because the police decided that Lawrence's family were nobodies, (only to find out later his father was friends with the editor of the Daily Mail) . With the grooming gang scandals the only arrests they made were the fathers of two of the victims (for a public order offense, ie giving them shit) and on one occasion the victim herself. However because the police were such pedants they documented everything, and which is why they fought so hard to avoid a proper judicial inquiry.

So the previous thread on the UK Police was dispatched to Spergatory, (thanks to @mr.moon1488 , @break these cuffs for their contributions to it) . After some advice from a sympathetic staff member I'm reposting here, because in his words A&H loves to crap on the British .

There is so much stuff out there , the UK police are so shit at using social media, that a single thread to consolidate it all might be worthwhile.

 

[WonderWino]

Remind me again how the british managed to create the largest empire in history?

 

[Robert James]

Remind me again how the british managed to create the largest empire in history?

They used to be heavily Christian/Monarchy and burned/stoned/murdered anyone that slightly offended them or appeared blasphemous. Also they had civic pride so when an immigrant said the country was shit they were sent back to where they came from instead of having their input taken seriously.


Man I love the U.K. police, I can outrun most of them, I can beat the shit out of most of them, I don't have to worry about them pulling a gun on me, I can mug people and get away with it, and to top it all off all I have to do is say someone called me the N-word and I get off scot free. It's like living in portland or new york.
All jokes aside it has always surprised me why more people don't just beat the shit out of the cops, they don't have weapons and most of them can't pass the physical exam.

 

[Spunt]

When you wonder how the British Police got to where they are, there was a watch commander with the glorious name of Cressida Dick, in charge of a plain-clothes counter-terrorist squad on the 22nd July 2005. The previous day, four home-grown Islamic terrorists had spectacularly failed to suicide-bomb the tube, and the police spectacularly failed to catch any of them, despite them being in tube carriages with backpacks that merely caught fire instead of exploding.

So they were after suspicious, dark-skinned people. They followed a suspicious and swarthy fellow who lived in the apartment block that one of the bombers was known to attend the gym at. As he went to work he was followed by plain-clothes officers. He got to Brixton tube station, only to find it closed (due to the previous day's bombings), so he re-boarded the bus he had just got off. The coppers somehow didn't know the tube station was closed, despite the fact it was them who closed it. One of the officers decided he has "Mongolian Eyes" and this convinced him he was a terrorist (all the previous day's incidents involved Pakistanis, who are not hard to tell apart from Mongolians, unless you are a British Police officer). They decided that him re-boarding the bus was an attempt to lose them and became convinced he was going to carry out another attack.

He got off the bus again at another tube station, Stockwell, which was open, and headed into the station. Cressida Dick decided that this meant he was definitely a suicide bomber, and ordered her officers in. Meanwhile, the "terrorist" bought a newspaper, the fiend! He paid his fare, got on a train, and sat down.

The firearms squad, burst into the tube carriage and shot him 11 times in the face with JHP bullets, obliterating his head. They did not identify themselves as Police until after they started firing, and made no attempt to arrest him before opening fire either (though the officers falsely claimed both later on).

The guy was not Pakistani, or Mongolian. He was a Brazilian electrician on his way to fix a broken fire alarm. Dick's officers made a number of further false claims in the subsequent enquiry, claiming that he had a toolbag resembling a "bomb belt" (nope, his tools were at the site), and that he was wearing a thick winter jacket in the middle of summer (he wasn't). They claimed that he ran from them when they identified themselves as Police officers, which they didn't, and we was running for the train because he was late to work. Because Brixton station had been closed. By the Metropolitan Police.

So what happened to Cressida Dick, the officer who gave orders to shoot an innocent man 11 times in the face because he looked "Mongolian"? Imprisoned? Fired? Disgraced?

Nope. Promoted. Cressida Dick is now the head of the Metropolitan Police, appointed by politicians in the face of total opposition from the people of London and the elected Police Commissioner. She praised the "Diversity" of the victims of another terrorist attack in 2017, presumably proud that terrorists of all colours can murder people of all colours while her officers spend their time arresting people for misgendering people on Twitter. She was awarded the DBE and then the OBE for "services to policing" by Theresa May.

 

[lolwut]

Remind me again how the british managed to create the largest empire in history?

All their brave and ambitious men died in the world wars at a very young age without having raised any children.

 

[Hux]

All their brave and ambitious men died in the world wars at a very young age without having raised any children.

That pretty much goes for all of Western and Central Europe as to why they're all in the state they are in today at this point

Sweden however was pretty much already entirely and irreversibly fagified the day Gustavus Adolphus died, so they don't exactly count here

 

[Oon magic]

Serious question: is this kind of police retardation all of the UK or just larger cities of England? My berger understanding of Ireland tells me that they would laugh at an officer for taking his butter knife and firebomb the guy’s car the next day.

 

[Trig.Point]

Serious question: is this kind of police exceptionalism all of the UK or just larger cities of England? My berger understanding of Ireland tells me that they would laugh at an officer for taking his butter knife and firebomb the guy’s car the next day.

Ireland have their own problems with the Police (Garda). However the Garda are much more careful about recruiting, they tend to hire slightly older people with some life experience. The typical Garda is far better at interacting with public, and in general has better judgement than his UK plod counterpart.

 

[Inquisitor_BadAss]

Due to posting an unlicensed thread i’m Afraid you will now have to attend a voluntary (mandatory) interview with your local constabulary.

 

[Aria]

https://twitter.com/SkyNews/status/1248633305051914240

SkyNews on Twitter: "South Yorkshire Police have apologised after an …

archived 17 Apr 2020 19:21:05 UTC

archive.li

 

[teriyakiburns]

Serious question: is this kind of police exceptionalism all of the UK or just larger cities of England?

It used to be, most of the time, that the problems with "the police" were really problems with the Met, or occasionally The City of London police (a separate force that answers to the Mayor of the City of London. It's complicated and stupid. They're arseholes.) Most of the Met's problems stemmed from the fact that it was an enormous police force that operated from remote headquarters buildings and had little local interaction beyond beating heads and occasionally shooting people for daring to be out at night with bits of chair.

Naturally, the government in the late 90s and early 2000s decided that the rest of the country should also follow this principle and started merging the local constabularies into county-sized (or larger) metro-style police authorities, shutting down local police stations, removing foot patrols in favour of long-distance car patrols, and replacing the local bobby that everyone knew with non-locals who had no connection to their patch. Foot patrols were replaced with PCSOs to create the illusion of police visibility on the streets, while the pigs themselves retreated to large, remote headquarters buildings and were trained to be ignorant blowhards.

Not to create an illusions that the past was better, mind you. The police have always been cunts, prone to violence for no reason and likely on the take as well, but it used to be that you generally knew who your local police were and where they lived, so they could be reasoned with. Except in London, which has always been full of cunts.

The rot is widespread and likely terminally fatal to the entire Peelian principle of civilian policing by consent at this point. I reckon the only solution is to rip it all out and start again from the foundations.

So to answer the question: yes, it's all of them now.

 

[NerdShamer]

Serious question: is this kind of police exceptionalism all of the UK or just larger cities of England? My berger understanding of Ireland tells me that they would laugh at an officer for taking his butter knife and firebomb the guy’s car the next day.

Read this and tell me what you think.

Hate Crime / Hate Incidents | West Yorkshire Police

Find out about how you can report Hate Crime / Hate Incidents. A Hate Crime is any criminal offence which is perceived by the victim or any other person, to be motivated by hostility or prejudice based on a person's disability, race, religion, sexual orientation or gender identity or perceived...

www.westyorkshire.police.uk

 

[MuuMuu Bunnylips]

The UK Police a fine body of men and women

That's when I stopped reading and fell out of my chair laughing.

 

[NOT Sword Fighter Super]

Don't forget about the time they painted their nails black for slavery awareness or whatever.

 

[Lurkio]

"Yes I realise sections of the Police do a good job, serious crime is investigated by the grown ups. However this thread mainly concerns the day to day public policing, and the highly politicized hierarchy of the Police."

No need to offer an explanation friend, most people are always down to laugh at the state that the UK has devolved into!

 

[Sneed's Feed And Seed]

Ireland have their own problems with the Police (Garda). However the Garda are much more careful about recruiting, they tend to hire slightly older people with some life experience. The typical Garda is far better at interacting with public, and in general has better judgement than his UK plod counterpart.

The way Ireland takes the piss out of its cops is a lot better than what we have in the States.

 

[Trig.Point]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=TMkTlCJKiew:237The way Ireland takes the piss out of its cops is a lot better than what we have in the States.

The UK doesn't really have to, you could argue the police do a good enough job themselves.

Thanks to @break these cuffs for the news paper clipping.

 

[soy_king]

The UK doesn't really have to, you could argue the police do a good enough job themselves.
View attachment 1239447

Thanks to @break these cuffs for the news paper clipping.

I don't see why this is so surprising. When I was in London, all I saw there were violent felonies committed by Klingon immigrants.

Out of interest, how do your bobbies deal with Sikhs displaying kirpans? In the US that frequently becomes an issue, especially when Sikhs bring their daggers with them to high schools.

 

[Trig.Point]

I don't see why this is so surprising. When I was in London, all I saw there were violent felonies committed by Klingon immigrants.

Out of interest, how do your bobbies deal with Sikhs displaying kirpans? In the US that frequently becomes an issue, especially when Sikhs bring their daggers with them to high schools.

Sikh's in the UK have essentially a little miniature which they can class as a sword, but which has a specific exemption in UK law.

 

[Sneed's Feed And Seed]

when Sikhs bring their daggers with them to high schools.

Protected under religious freedoms. It's always funny when it's "But it's a KNOIFE!" and they get smacked down with the fact that Sikhs don't fight back with that until attacked, as per their religion.

Sikhs are also turbo-bros and will feed you if you come in and need a hand. Gurudwaras (Sikh temples) need to be as protected as mosques, churches, and synagogues.

E: Ease of reading