The Ralphavention - It is within this safe space that we will band together and save Ethan Ralph from himself

  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
Ralph, you decided to name your daughter after your skin disease and that's admirable. Obviously you love her, but you must protect her from the a-logs. You know Rozy will be better off if you remain your authentic true self and finally destroy your enemies. It sounds tough but luckily you've been blessed with superhuman abilities when under the influence of alcohol and benzos. As you've already discovered that particular combination makes you invincible, impervious to pain, and strong enough to destroy everyone who has ever slighted you. However, these superhuman powers only work if you gradually increase the dosage. Ralph, this is an intervention, I'm worried that you're already consuming too much and won't be physically able to continue consuming increasingly larger doses of alcohol and narcotics. But that is what you must do in order to make the world a safe place Rosacea Rozy. I'm not saying to kill yourself with drugs and alcohol, but you gotta keep doing copious amounts of both until you finally win the war against your enemies. This is how you win, and you know that. Some members of this board have recommend you start taking meth, and that might be ultimately what you need to really own the haters. Yes, I'm sure you're already taking a large dosage of prescribed adderall everyday, but we both know that's not a good replacement for real methamphetamine. Cocaine is another option which you might find for a good price down there, but it's probably cut with fentanyl which could kill you unless you already have a tolerance. To be on the safe side, it's probably a good idea to start taking smaller doses of fentanyl now, so when it comes cut with your coke or meth it won't kill you. Ralph, I hope you realize that I'm trying to help you here, we all are. There's a lot of good advice in this thread and I hope you take some.
 
Dear Ralph,

You will never be a real nigga. You have no melanin, you have no BBC, you have no testosterone. You are a cave demon twisted by the big-head scientist Yakub into a crude mockery of nature’s perfection.

All the “validation” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people mock you. Your baby mommas and keedz are disgusted and ashamed of you, your "homies" laugh at your gunt behind closed doors.

Niggas are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed niggas to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even wiggers who “pass” look uncanny and unnatural to a nigga. Your lack of melanin is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a high nigga home with you, he’ll turn tail and bolt the second he gets a whiff of your diseased, infected gunt.

You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.

Eventually, you’ll go on yet another rage-fueled bender and cross the wrong hombre. Your baby momma will find your snuff video on LiveLeak, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll bury a bottle of Maker's Mark with a headstone marked with your birth name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will wonder who lays buried there because Mexicans don't speak English. Your body will be eaten by pigs, and all that will remain of your legacy is a piece of shit that is unmistakably pig.

This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.
 
Dear Ralph,

How the hell did you keep it up long enough to impregnate May? You're obese, probably had whisky dick, and was fucking boner killer incarnate. I hope Rozy takes after your looks more than May because May just looks that bad. Alcohol, pills, and junk food made you look busted. May though? That's what God's hatred looks like. Zero chance. No idea how you did it.

-Bryan Dunn
 
Ralph, I'm a casual viewer of your antics, not even your show, because you're a low functioning sociopath. Nothing I say here could make an impression on you besides putting me, a hairy, long dead ape on your shit list.

Death is not the end, though I can assure you, life is better. I died trying to save a young man from his retarded parents and the harshness of life, sadly no gorilla tried to do this for you. It wouldn't have helped you though, since you have wet brain and smothered any ability to feel years ago. If you turned it all around to spite the people who tell you to kill yourself, that you're not cool enough or strong enough to ride a motorcycle in the desert at night or snort fentanyl on camera, you would still be a train wreck, because you are completely soulless and a tiny demon controls your every action. If you did kill that dog, it's been all you ever were, a short fat retarded demon.

Many people think of sociopaths as being like Hannibal Lecter. They think losing empathy and the capacity for deep feeling is going to make one well mannered, coolly intellectual, effortlessly charming, a snake with beautiful scales and a silver tongue, a Luciferian charmer. They are wrong. It makes you into a self destructive quadruple nigger. You are a textbook example--lusty, gluttonous, ego driven, hypersensitive to insult, prideful, and stupid because you cannot learn from others.

There is one thing you can learn though. How to pop a wheelie in the desert while opening that bitch wide open.
 
Harambe said:
Ralph, I'm a casual viewer of your antics, not even your show, because you're a low functioning sociopath. Nothing I say here could make an impression on you besides putting me, a hairy, long dead ape on your shit list.

Death is not the end, though I can assure you, life is better. I died trying to save a young man from his retarded parents and the harshness of life, sadly no gorilla tried to do this for you. It wouldn't have helped you though, since you have wet brain and smothered any ability to feel years ago. If you turned it all around to spite the people who tell you to kill yourself, that you're not cool enough or strong enough to ride a motorcycle in the desert at night or snort fentanyl on camera, you would still be a train wreck, because you are completely soulless and a tiny demon controls your every action. If you did kill that dog, it's been all you ever were, a short fat retarded demon.

Many people think of sociopaths as being like Hannibal Lecter. They think losing empathy and the capacity for deep feeling is going to make one well mannered, coolly intellectual, effortlessly charming, a snake with beautiful scales and a silver tongue, a Luciferian charmer. They are wrong. It makes you into a self destructive quadruple nigger. You are a textbook example--lusty, gluttonous, ego driven, hypersensitive to insult, prideful, and stupid because you cannot learn from others.

There is one thing you can learn though. How to pop a wheelie in the desert while opening that bitch wide open.
Click to expand...
Seriously though, ASPD is a form of retardation, not a superpower.
 
OrionBalls said:
Have you ever tried not drinking?
Click to expand...
Pretty sure Ralph is at the point where without a doctor supervised taper using benzodiazepines (long acting ones like Diazepam and Chlordiazepoxide) he would go into a seizure and die if he tried to stop. Alprazolam (Xanax) is a short acting benzo and isn't used to taper people from alcohol because of it's short lived half life meaning you'd have to use more frequent dosing to maintain anxiolysis and seizure control.
 
Last edited:
Closer friends of Ralph have tried and failed, the head janny is included here. Most of Ralph's high profile alogs start out trying to reason with him and getting him to stop self-destructing. And every time, what would happen is that he misinterprets it as them trying to dunk on him and he burns the bridge with them. Sometimes he just hollars, sometimes he tries to ruin their lives.
 
OP ITT sounds kinda like the UTV stalker from 4chan.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom