The Ralpha Ranch - Ethan Ralph is A Broke Ass Bitch and His Bitch Ass Fans Will NEVER Form a Ranch

[Monkey Madness]

Locals have been power washing the paint of their concrete and tin homes to avoid attracting criminal attention. Having a painted exterior gives them fear of attracting attention from low level cartel members. It's only a matter of time before gunt wanders out of the relatively safe Merida.

It's alright, Ralph's bright red truck plastered in Killstream stickers is pretty inconspicuous and won't draw any attention. That's not even factoring in when he shuffles out flashing Pawpaw's ring and them goochey shades.

 

[Nontent Poisoning]

My head canon is as follows...

• Ralph is broke.
• Ralph needs money, badly.
• "If I can get a retard to give me 20k towards a ranch... I can gamble with that money and make bank and pay everyone, buy the ranch and no one is the wiser!"

 

[Derpy]

I don’t see Ralph doing what he needs to do to avoid the attention of the local cartels. I bet he has done deals with cartel people already. Ralph thinks he has enough street sense to stay cool with the cartels. The fact is that in Ethan Ralph is the opposite of street smart. He won’t last long in Mexico and has a 50/50 chance of even surviving long enough to make it back to the USA again.

 

[MeltyTW]

I don’t see Ralph doing what he needs to do to avoid the attention of the local cartels. I bet he has done deals with cartel people already. Ralph thinks he has enough street sense to stay cool with the cartels. The fact is that in Ethan Ralph is the opposite of street smart. He won’t last long in Mexico and has a 50/50 chance of even surviving long enough to make it back to the USA again.

i hope he pays them to off kiwifarmers and they just pocket the money and decide to scam him on his hits.

 

[Law]

I heard there's some ranch land in Westcliffe, CO that's up for grabs.