📚 Megathread The Pooner Zoo - A thread for collecting wild Pooners and posting OC Pooners, and anything Pooner related

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Lastly, a TiF that wants to sound like a stereotypical frat boy writes advice on how her fellow poons can stop being so hard on themselves and get themselves the snatch they deserve only to find that her fellow dudes, like, you know, can't handle truth bombs, which is like, totally unchill, brah, right? The ironic part here is that she actually gives remarkably sound advice yet is still stupid enough to be a pooner, which is why even the most sensible, thoughtful and intellectual of the troon tribe always fall short a few spoons of a proper silverware drawer.
“If I try as hard as humanly possible to talk like Dave Strider from Homestuck, people will believe I’m a man and take my Reddit post seriously”. This chick is giving me so much second-hand embarrassment. Also she completely drops it in the second post when she has to be like “Noooo please no bully!!!” :story:
 
A TiF who spends too much time on Pinterest wants advice from her fellow doodz on how to project the ideal image of herself to others to affirm her gender. The description she provides of what she would prefer to look like - geeky, slim, perpetually exhausted - sounds remarkably similar to Viktor of Arcane fame, so I have a feeling I know who her blorbo-turned-#goals is. (For those unaware, 'blorbo' is a slang term for fictional characters to whom one has a strong affection and attachment towards.)
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I like that she specifies not wanting to look like a "straight white cis man" when race is like the one thing you can't identify out of even to these people who act like you can completely change your sex through taking steroids and getting a rotdog. Something tells me she wants to be an Asian twink but is leaving that part out else she get accused of appropriation. Cause Kpop seems to be a huge thing with pooners (I've never seen Arcane so I can't speak to that)
 
Piss fetish pooner goes on a massive public tirade on her fetish before deleting her reddit account. Fortunately, reveddit still works.

Espousing her wish to be a man.
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5' 2" girl wants to use men's urinals but only when they're not in there, because that would be too awkward.
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Yearning for a world where men keep toilet paper by the urinals. Definitely not for her convenience.
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I'm sure none of the ladies here want to imagine the sensation of sitting on a urinal to piss. The piss fetish compels our protagonist.
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So, now the magic question is what comes first, the pooner or the piss fetish?
 
More shots coming from inside the house: pooners are now upset at being referred to the "Omegaverse" a fanfic and now popular written trope of "omegas" giving birth. Basically, they're upset at a trope they engage in and enjoy being applied to them in real life.
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"Then clearly you're not a man??"
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Breaking down crying because fellow fujos won't affirm you:
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"Mpreg was getting popularized by trans men to normalize male pregnancy"
Which isn't going to happen. Your own people mock you and you demand language changes to "seahorse dads" who number only in the hundreds. Male pregnancy doesn't exist. It's a way for women to claim they're actually gay men while engaging in reproductive sex.
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on tinder (looking only for women
Wait, how does Tinder algorithms work then? Are they photo-based (even if one puts "male" as their sex the algorithm will ignore it and determine it by the user's photos)?


Do you think pooners experience castration anxiety?

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The female blackpill is their physical inferiority. They're just not build to be anything but incubators by nature. Yeah they have free will, but that is the only thing they were physically made for.
Froid also said people who smoke cigars crave to suck dicks. Which is funny af, but probably not very true. Froid in general said a lot of random sex-related shit to look smart and sale his books/consultations.
 
Froid also said people who smoke cigars crave to suck dicks. Which is funny af, but probably not very true. Froid in general said a lot of random sex-related shit to look smart and sale his books/consultations.
Freud was a borderline scam artist with a coke addiction so bad he nearly collapsed during his own lectures and (allegedly) stole every single one of his "discoveries" from others then backdated them to claim he came up with it first.

The guy never even helped a single one of his patients, it always boiled down to "Hmm yes you secretly want to fuck your parents, here snort this miracle drug".

The only self aware thing the man ever said was "sometimes a cigar is just a cigar" in relation to dream meanings, which was more or less an admission that he was full of shit and sometimes vague connections don't actually mean anything.
 
Froid also said people who smoke cigars crave to suck dicks. Which is funny af, but probably not very true. Froid in general said a lot of random sex-related shit to look smart and sale his books/consultations.

I seriously wonder if he ever literally sucked off Karl Marx.

Their paths just about crossed.

Maybe they had an encounter in a Victorian cottage?
 
Not really openly or publicly, but he was from that rough same ethnic-philosophical Jewish living among the German speaking gentile kind of group.

It was certainly the same kind of “counter culture” of the time.
Marx was an antisemite though. So I don't think they'd fuck.
 
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So, now the magic question is what comes first, the pooner or the piss fetish?
This is giving me flashbacks of that pooner who thought the function of a urinal cake was for wiping yourself after you pee. That was probably way more unsanitary than whatever this is tbh.
More shots coming from inside the house: pooners are now upset at being referred to the "Omegaverse" a fanfic and now popular written trope of "omegas" giving birth. Basically, they're upset at a trope they engage in and enjoy being applied to them in real life.
Aren’t most of these pooners also fujos who probably get off to omegaverse? I’m surprised there’s this much opposition from them regarding that comparison.
I'm so glad the lamb's blood I smeared on my door caused this piece of pop culture to harmlessly pass over me
Yeah it’s a cringe reference but it’s been on my mind since I’ve been rereading the “repaired” re-release they’ve been doing of the comic. Be glad you’re not like me and don’t have a deep-seated affection toward it from having first read it as a young teenager.
 
The show is tailor made for autistic girls with ready made, safe edgy, and easily distinguishable husbandos. Further, it ran its course ages ago. The normal fans of the show have moved on and found new things to enjoy. It's normal for any particular fandom to be represented by holdouts the older they get.

All that said, I can't say I've seen too many women/pooners talking about metalocalypse. Do you have some examples offhand?
joined a discord server for the show, not a single biological man in sight
 

Aside from the pooner frog voice, this girl doesn't look like a man at all. Hilarious that her pooner chosen name is "Apollo" too. Trannies, especially FTMs, choose main character-sounding names so often.
 
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