📚 Megathread The Pooner Zoo - A thread for collecting wild Pooners and posting OC Pooners, and anything Pooner related

[Ed Special]

To be fair, she almost passes as an extremely soy-addled uber-beta softboi. Why anyone would want to look like an even faggier ScottTheWoz remains a mystery.

 

[Chandelier]

Someone with a PHD is trying to tell us something that even 5 year olds know is bullshit. Biological sex is biological sex. All this "B-b-but" shit trying to add legitimacy to it is nothing but inane prattle.

Jamie also legitimately believes men and women have overlapping testosterone at the athletic level and her source was a poorly cited opinion article when Imane Khaleif was popular. Her PhD was about sexual arousal in trans men through surveys. None of it was original research, or subjects a normal psych student would be accepted for.

I feel bad for her because she's a lesbian who pooned out to appease her wife's family and appear heterosexual, but my sympathy ends when she starts pushing for other lesbians and for impressionable kids to do the same. Especially when she herself says that the surgeries were traumatic and dangerous.

Don't. She's a smug liar and loves "owning the TERFs" as much as she can. She's groomed a lot of girls and got OBGYN Danielle "don't call me Danielle" Jones to say "pregnant people" and separate female reproductive health from women.

 

[Audit]

Don't. She's a smug liar and loves "owning the TERFs" as much as she can. She's groomed a lot of girls and got OBGYN Danielle "don't call me Danielle" Jones to say "pregnant people" and separate female reproductive health from women.

It's getting to the point where we need a rule reminding everyone that troons/pooners are not good people to be sympathized with. They regularly groom kids on a daily basis on reddit, discord, etc. and want to spread their personal misery to other people. How many times in this thread alone have we seen some cabal of pooners shout down another pooner when the rotdog isn't what they hoped for it to be? They're delusional and cultish as a baseline, complete with the whole excising new victims from their friends and family to fully induct them into the death cult.

Say whatever you want to excuse troon/pooner behavior but ultimately they're spiteful people who seek to destroy others. They'd have made peace with themselves and moved on from this foolishness if they were any other way. They're lolcows and there's no helping a lolcow. It's a defining trait of lolcows.

 

[Ser Prize]

Jamie also legitimately believes men and women have overlapping testosterone at the athletic level and her source was a poorly cited opinion article when Imane Khaleif was popular. Her PhD was about sexual arousal in trans men through surveys. None of it was original research, or subjects a normal psych student would be accepted for.

Don't. She's a smug liar and loves "owning the TERFs" as much as she can. She's groomed a lot of girls and got OBGYN Danielle "don't call me Danielle" Jones to say "pregnant people" and separate female reproductive health from women.

It's getting to the point where we need a rule reminding everyone that troons/pooners are not good people to be sympathized with. They regularly groom kids on a daily basis on reddit, discord, etc. and want to spread their personal misery to other people. How many times in this thread alone have we seen some cabal of pooners shout down another pooner when the rotdog isn't what they hoped for it to be? They're delusional and cultish as a baseline, complete with the whole excising new victims from their friends and family to fully induct them into the death cult.

Say whatever you want to excuse troon/pooner behavior but ultimately they're spiteful people who seek to destroy others. They'd have made peace with themselves and moved on from this foolishness if they were any other way. They're lolcows and there's no helping a lolcow. It's a defining trait of lolcows.

It's easier for people to sympathize with pooners because they A) often trigger our 'defend women' instinct and B) in cases like this also have the 'sacred gays' shit attached. Note the post that sympathized with her blamed the dyke's family for wanting their daughter to have a functional marriage.

 

[Hongourable Madisha]

To be fair, she almost passes as an extremely soy-addled uber-beta softboi. Why anyone would want to look like an even faggier ScottTheWoz remains a mystery.

She wants to be the thing to which she's attracted, a non-threatening soft boy. Usually that's teenage girls' taste and they grow out of it as they mature, but troons and poons are stuck in an extended adolescence.

 

[Dragged Into Sunlight]

Rest in peace, Kafka, you would've loved Boys Will Be Bugs by Cavetown.

Holy Christ, listening to this makes me viscerally angry. The most twee, fem-brained thing I've ever listened to and it makes me angry that this chick has the gall to call herself a man.

That's a male fucking reaction, you stupid pooner.

 

[Ruined by the Rain]

Holy Christ, listening to this makes me viscerally angry. The most twee, fem-brained thing I've ever listened to and it makes me angry that this chick has the gall to call herself a man.

That's a male fucking reaction, you stupid pooner.

Real mayn listen to BJ Lips

 

[FinnSven]

A "gay trans guy" (heterosexual female) wants to engage in the frenzied, impassioned sex of your standard after-dark TV show, but is having a hard time finding a guy willing to play ball with her stupid identity. OP, finding a straight dude to flip your pancake is pretty easy even as a fairly middling chick, so you're really the only one shoving a stick in the wheel of your bicycle here.

I know it’s because they are poisoned by Yaoi and other stories about alleged gay men behaving like lesbians, but this is even more puzzling than Troons who Troon out thinking that it will mean that actual lesbians will be foaming at the gash for them.

While statistically more straight men have a chance as most women are straight, as you say even homely girls won’t have a hard time finding a man willing to fuck them.

Why try to target a group of men who literally won’t?

 

[Hongourable Madisha]

I know it’s because they are poisoned by Yaoi and other stories about alleged gay men behaving like lesbians, but this is even more puzzling than Troons who Troon out thinking that it will mean that actual lesbians will be foaming at the gash for them.

While statistically more straight men have a chance as most women are straight, as you say even homely girls won’t have a hard time finding a man willing to fuck them.

Why try to target a group of men who literally won’t?

Because, as with troons, it validates the fetish. Troon self-insert fanfiction is always shit like "and then they did my hair and nails just like one of the girls and dressed me up in this [overly detailed description of fetish clothing] and they said I was super hot and then we all started making out and they were REAL CIS LESBIANS YOU GUYS". Among other degeneracy, they're turned on by the idea that they could pass so well as to arouse someone exclusively attracted to the sex that they are aping.
Pooners are similar but with more shit like werewolves and vampires for some reason.

 

[AnOminous]

Why try to target a group of men who literally won’t?

The whole point of troonery is to force your disgusting fetishes on normal people who don't want to participate.

 

[Surfin Terf]

Holy Christ, listening to this makes me viscerally angry. The most twee, fem-brained thing I've ever listened to and it makes me angry that this chick has the gall to call herself a man.

That's a male fucking reaction, you stupid pooner.

Excuse me, but this is apparently the proper male reaction to this lame-ass song

 

[Chandelier]

Tom the Khazar pooner continues to wail about her abuse. It's her own personal Holocaust.

This same pooner has the distinction of being dumped by an Indian man in six weeks.

There is no "we", kemosabe.

OY VEY! WHY ARE THE GOYIM PROTESTING AGAINST OUR JEWISH TRICKS?!

They were all pushing her shit in. She can't say they were all pro shippers.

Excuse me, but this is apparently the proper male reaction to this lame-ass song
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You want another song that screams pooner? Try Creekbed Carter. Found this one through a shotacon fanfic author.

Here is the PreserveTube.

 

[Hepativore]

 

[Dragged Into Sunlight]

Excuse me, but this is apparently the proper male reaction to this lame-ass song
View attachment 7865719

If she played this song to a bunch of 14 year olds in my era, we would have laughed at her and called her a faggot then gone back to listening to Slipknot and talking about which girls in the class we wanted to fuck.

 

[Potato Burrito]

Literal clown

 

[Not Dr. Evil]

Pooner Vanessa denies that AGP is a real thing.

 

[Ms. Dia Gnosis]

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Thus proving what I have always said: "women are shit at sport".

I had to fact check this because it just seemed too perfect, but no, it's actually, hilariously true. Now all we have to do is wait for MTF trans soccer team to play against female team and win 19:0 to prove a point

 

[Iron Jaguar]

I had to fact check this because it just seemed too perfect, but no, it's actually, hilariously true. Now all we have to do is wait for MTF trans soccer team to play against female team and win 19:0 to prove a point

Pooners are so hilariously delusional that you couldn't make up stories funnier than their IRL antics.

 

[Magic Pickle]

A horny little Hetty Betty wants advice on how to rape gay men in ways that are not explicitly obvious to them; though some in the comments try to speak sense into her, a common refrain - as it always is with these kinds of conversations - is "I understand your concern but OP didn’t ask for this lecture. Which is what it is, imo." Wishing you a very merry antibiotics-resistant syphilis for your troubles, OP!
Link | Archive

Stealth?​

Anyone ever bottom with the back door and hide the front parts for a hookup lol Do any of you know of some type of underwear/packer combo that would work for that I know the jockmail has some underwear with the back open but I'm not sure if it's actually practical/possible to do wyt?

A "mostly" gay trans guy (i.e., heterosexual female) wants to try her hand at the gay dating scene but has reasonable concerns such as a fear of being assaulted and having condoms removed against her consent midway through sex, which gay men usually just consider par for the course. I don't know why everyone seems convinced that the only options for sex these days are "gloryhole at the bathhouse" and "monogamous marriage that was first arranged by your parents at 11," but it certainly doesn't make me envy the young, dumb and horny!
Link | Archive

Want to explore hookups but don't know if I'm ready for the hookup scene​

I (21, trans man) recently left a 4-year relationship (w/ a 21 y/o cis man). They were my first relationship and my first and only sexual partner. I've slowly been recovering from the breakup. One of the things I want to do at some point is explore sex with other people. My ex was great in bed, but I also want to explore other encounters and possibly even explore some kinks my ex didn't share. For context I'm (mostly) gay and generally prefer men, so gay male hookup apps are mostly what I'll be using.
But I don't know if I'm ready for the hookup scene. I don't want commitment, but I also don't want sex to feel simply transactional either. I still want it to feel at least slightly intimate. In my ideal scenario I want us to meet, have some friendly small talk, then discuss our wants + boundaries and have an open/honest talk about STIs and prevention. I want the mood to be fun, exploratory, and safe---with neither of us in a hurry and both of us caring for the other's comfort and pleasure.
I want it to be a safe place to be nervous and inexperienced, where I don't have to put up a front of complete confidence and expertise. After we talk, I want to do some kissing/foreplay, taking things nice and slow until we're both ready to go "all the way". Once we do, I don't want there to be pressure. I want to start things nice and gentle. If it starts to hurt, we can stop without judgement or disappointment, and try more outercourse instead. I want the goal to be to explore and feel good together, not to simply follow a standard "script".
When we're done, I want to clean up, cuddle, check in with each other, and maybe chat a bit more. For at least 20 minutes. Then we can amicably part ways, with no expectation of further encounters unless we both decide otherwise. But generally it will be a one-time thing. I would of course lay this out beforehand so nobody is misled.
I might be able to find this kind of sex in an FWB situation, but I don't think I could do that without eventually catching feelings and I'm definitely not ready for another relationship for a while. I just want to have one-time, casual and exploratory, but still somewhat intimate encounters where foreplay, communication, and aftercare is a must. But I don't know if I can find this in the gay hookup scene. I know it can usually be pretty cold and transactional, and they'll often expect you to leave soon after it's over.
I might be able to find men who agree to take it slow and do aftercare, but what if they're just lying to get into my pants and then kick me out right after? There's no way I could really prevent that. I would genuinely feel violated and even assaulted (even if that doesn't legally qualify as assault), because I would have been tricked into sex under false pretenses. If I knew there would be no aftercare, I wouldn't have consented to sex.
What if I do get assaulted? What if I get stealthed? What if someone tries to harm me? I know I'm at greater risk of harm due to being trans and pursuing primarily cis men. What if I am fetishized for being trans by someone who lies and says they see me as a man when they don't? I've been on T for a few years + post top surgery and pass well, but that doesn't make me immune to fetishizers/chasers and there are still parts of my body I'm very dysphoric about, which I don't want fetishized. What if someone secretly records/photographs me without my consent? What if I'm blackmailed or someone leaks my intimate messages/personal details? There's just a lot that could go wrong and it's hard to trust strangers.
On top of all these worries, I don't really know how to navigate getting on PrEP and getting regular HIV + other STI tests. I live on my university campus, far away from in-network doctors and pharmacies. My university health center is also out-of-network with my insurance. This will all make getting tested and accessing PrEP much more of a hassle.
I really, really want to explore sex again but I've never done this before, and fear I won't be able to have the kind of sex I want. And I'm very worried about being harmed. I've already survived one sexual assault before (not by my ex, to be clear) and I don't know if I can handle another one. And I know that engaging in regular hookups with strangers probably significantly increases my risk of that happening. But I really do want to explore sex, I just want to feel safe, respected, and not completely used/discarded while doing so. Is that even possible in to find in casual encounters?

A pooner makes a thousand caveats before venting about how despite considering transitioning life-saving medical treatment, she still feels inadequate to the point where every shower is a struggle between her and suicide. This is a good peek into the psyche of "the dream transition" (i.e. allegedly passing consistently, access to preferred procedures, etc.) and how it really isn't all it's cracked up to be. If you're going to kill yourself anyway, would you at least have the courage to admit nobody else should do it?
Link | Archive

Medical transition was a waist of hope for ME.​

To start: this mentality only applies to me. Please don’t apply my mentality/struggles to yourself or others. Transition (medical and social) helps and saves so many trans people’s lives. I’m just fucked mentally and ungrateful for what I do have. Myself, therapists and psychiatrists don’t know how to help me, but that doesn’t mean my situation applies to others. I’m not gonna soften the blow of my wording- if you’re in a tough spot, don’t read this. This will also be a ramble and maybe not that coherent/linear.
T and top surgery have helped me to some degree (maybe 40-50% of my day compared to 75-100%) but I’m still suicidal every time I shower, go to the bathroom or have sex with any woman I have sex with. I know I’m not cis, and it’s genuinely heart breaking for me.
Idk what to do at this point. I’m cis passing and stealth in every way besides not having a dick and having DI top surgery scars, and some of my friends from when I was younger still being my friend so they know I’m trans. Besides phalo (that I won’t be able to afford for years and years), I have pretty much everything a trans man could hope for.
I’m just an ungrateful, suicidal, mentally weak pooner that’s always gonna have this fuck ass vagina and top surgery scars.
I’m literally the biggest ungrateful fuck. I have things other trans men would do a lot for (cishet passing, stealth, high average male height, non-nasally voice from voice training), and I’m still constantly weighing if I should just kms now or try and hope things get better. All because I don’t have a dick, DI scars and androgynous bones structure.
I knew/know I am meant to be a cis man, not a trans man. I knew I’d only find complete comfort in being as cis as possible, and yet I transitioned anyway, like an idiot that wants to waste money. Idk why I thought being someone that’s “male adjacent” would actually mostly help my dysphoria to the point I’d have minimal suicidal ideation. Yes it’s nice and comforting to have people treat me as a cishet man in society, but I know I’m not cis. I know I don’t have a dick. Iknow I have big ass DI scars from top surgery. I know I may not ever be able to afford phalo with decent results because of health care in my country.
Honestly, I’m marginally better, mentally, than before and at times I am very grateful for that and it can over power my suicidal ideation, but it’s not enough for me to be mentally stable. I’m just in more debt from top surgery, constantly having to pay for T/needles/syringes, doctor/therapy/psychiatry appointments, the highest cost health insurance, and deductibles. The debt also causes me to consider just killing myself, so am I really out on top?? Or am I just trying to help something that can’t be helped in my situation because all I can focus on when I shower/piss/have sex/flirt with women is what I dont have. The fact I’m not gonna be what I need and what others are expecting.
Idk what to do. I’ve tried 5 therapists this year to try and help my thought process and all 5 of them “fired” me and gave a reference because they didn’t feel like they were equipped to help me (all said they worked with trans people for 5-15 years). I’m literally at the end of my rope and on the verge of just 41%-ing. It’s fucking pathetic and “fem-brained” to think this way, but I genuinely feel like the only peace I’ll feel is after I put a gun to the roof of my mouth and end it all.
I genuinely just feel like a little baby bitch and ungrateful for complaining and being hella dysphoric about not being a cis male. I feel fucking pathetic for complaining and venting. I just don’t know what to do anymore. None of my friends can understand because they’re all cis, mostly cishet, and just tell me “well you look and act like a straight man, idk how to help you”. Like yeah, not even professionals are willing to try and help me. I don’t need you to help me, I just…. I just want to feel content in my body and if I can’t have that, I just want someone to say “yeah that sucks really bad, and I get why you’re struggling to the degree you are”. I just want to feel like this body is my own and not some flesh prison I was born to deal with for the rest of my life.
TLDR: Fuck this tranny life. Fuck whoever I was in a past life to deserve this hell and fuckery. Fuck ME for thinking going in to debt for transition that wouldn’t even make me a cis male, would make me have almost no suicidal ideation.

A TiF on low-dose testosterone is finding that the older she's gotten, the more she grieves never being able to bear children of her own. Posts like these make it hard not to pozload my neghole because all I can think is turn back now! Save yourself! But alas, if they had the common sense God gave to tapeworms, they wouldn't be in this predicament, now would they?
Link | Archive

tw: pregnancy vent thing​

using a throwaway account because i just feel embarrassed and i'm not sure if this is even the right spot for something like this
i'm transmasc, i have never wanted kids, even since i was really little, and i was okay with that. i have the occasional "baby fever" when i see a cute kid or a good dad with their child, but it doesn't last long. however, (and especially as i have gotten older and am now on a low dose of t) the fact that i will never experience being pregnant or give birth is really upsetting to me. i still don't want kids, but knowing that i'll never get to experience something like that is sort of disheartening for me? does this make any sense? have any of you felt similar?

A FTM resents her grandmother and her child because neither play along with her delusions, but despite her nana suggesting she's the author of her own misery, OP insists that even if she feels like "this was a mistake," that she will die if she tries to give up the pooner ghost. Glad to know her wee sprout at least has a sensible grandparent in her corner, but I feel like your kid being bullied because you pooned out is still pretty egregious!
Link | Archive

Being trans fucking sucks, I hate my Nana's opinion, and I hate being outted​

I fucking hate this fucking shit. My Nana has been giving my shit. I just got outted at the apartment pool. I hate this shit. If I were a cis man, life would be easier.
Nana is all, "You liked being pregnant, you were so excited!" And I tried so hard to explain that I hated that shit. I liked that I got pregnant with a man I thought was good. I liked the idea of having a baby. Making the baby made me feel like a burster was about to come out of my stomach. The little flutters and kicks were disgusting to feel from the inside, absolute body horror. She wouldn't hear any of that because, according to her, I am lying. She keeps insisting all my relationship problems are because I am trans and my partner is sick of it, and I am lazy, and I am mean. My partner can do no wrong, I am the root of every issue ever. She keeps saying I chose this life, and I chose to be trans, so I can't complain when bad things happen.
Then at the pools, I said I was a man, was being read as a man (shirt on), and so I went with it. Then my kid fucking outted me. I came home immediately. I don't need some big hulking man and his wife coming out to fight me for existing trans around their kids because people around here have either never knowingly met a trans person or think we are perverts with no between. I wouldn't be that worried about it if it hadn't already almost happened in these same fucking apartments.
Every few months, I get outted, retreat into my own bubble without leaving for a few months, then reemerge once they have forgotten just to get outted again. I try to avoid the parents entirely. One parent stopped my kids from playing on the apartment playground equipment to drag them to the side and preach at them about the Bible and gays and trans stuff. I was livid then and I am livid now.
Just let me fucking enjoy my goddamn life! I am struggling with 100 other things to the point my gender doesn't even matter to me until someone else points it out, then I am forcefully reminded of the fact that I am perceived by other living beings!
Between my Nana and being outted at my apartments to my spouse losing his job because of me being trans, to my kids getting bullied for having a "he/she" "boy-girl" for a "mom". Like, fuck fuck fuck fuck!
I am starting to feel like the problem. It makes me feel like this was a mistake, but I am so far in that if I quit now then I will be miserable. I will die if I try to pretend to be a cis woman again. I will die without transition and hormones. Why does being trans have to be so hard?

Though natural instinct inclines this li'l dood from getting her shit rocked by her more physically developed male friends, she still takes to Reddit to figure out how she can become more tolerant to the pokes, jabs and bumps of her cohorts rather than realizing maybe she shouldn't encourage men to beat up women. Watch her get a bump on her noggin only to be labeled a concussion in the ER! Very validating, though, right?
Link | Archive

Roughhousing with friends - am I just a wimp?​

Growing up I had some family friends, and the son of the family was 2 years older than myself. He and I were very close, a sort of brother relationship, and we would roughhouse and beat each other up all the time for mutual fun (most often in the form of "sparring"). I mourned that part of our relationship as we grew up and he stopped participating in it (around the time I started hitting puberty, resulting in a "I can't hit girls" mentality from him.)
I always envied boys' friendships from then on. I'm not sure what it is, but I love the idea of a friendship where you're randomly wrestling each other just for the fun of it. I have noticed, with my best friend particularly, that there's a certain tolerance of pain that seems to be considered normal? For example, he will flick me hard enough to leave a mark that lasts for hours, and to everyone that's like, a normal everyday thing. Like ppl be doing that sort of thing to each other all the time I guess. Even when he daps me up, he uses his full force and that shit BURNS when it connects and I usually end up whining about it for a second and shaking the pain from my hand, which he will then tease me for being such a baby about it. Is it just a normal thing in male friendships to be inflicting pain LMAO My other close male friendships have not involved this, however I get a strong feeling it's because they are babying me, because they don't think that sort of thing would be okay with me, and I say this because they behave differently with their other male friends.
Maybe I have become too afraid of pain. I'm not sure where my adventurous and bold spirit from my childhood went. I want to wrestle my best friend after squaring up during a poking-battle, but I always cut it off early because Imm afraid of getting hurt. Do I just need to get over myself? How do I do that?

 

[Audit]

Pooner Vanessa denies that AGP is a real thing.

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What even is this logic? Autogynephilia isn't a thing because lesbians under 40 exist? How, what, why? Drugs, how many is this pooner on?