The *Not* "Deadpool" thread - All theories are made up, in Minecraft, of course.

  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
March 26th, 2024

Ralph has had a mini-stroke and a full-blown heart attack as a result of life style choices.

But this is not what kills him.

In a brutal twist of irony, Ralph contracted a new form of coronavirus due to travel to third world shitholes (to own da hayterz) and a very weakened immune system. He anguished in his hospital bed for nearly another month, even attempting to stream.

But his ability to speak was severely limited by his stroke and that bed stream would end up being the final time he was seen on camera. He passed away slowly at 3:36 AM, April 20th, completely alone except for Rozy and Pantsu.

He spent his final hour tearful, truly praying for forgiveness from God for the first time in his life. The trepidation never left his pig slits but during his final moments he had finally accepted that it truly is what it is, eh buddy?

Gasping, wheezing, slurring like he finally found the bottom of the Xanax bottle, he pulled his Whorse closer and wheezed his final words.

I'll tell the Devil you're on the way, Mr Medi-Care, you fucking faggot
 
Benzos and alcohol are the only two drugs where the withdraw symptoms alone can kill you. So I’m gonna go out on a limb and say some life event will force him to go cold turkey and the complications from withdraw will kill him.
 
Seeing that his viewer numbers drop so badly that rebroadcasts of Alex Jones are higher than his own triggers heart palpations. May has fucked off and the latest baby sitter quit, so no one can feed him alcohol or Xanax. Leaving his stream and his child screaming in the background, Gunt hops into his trunk and races to the nearest pharmacy to get a "refill". While driving above the speed limit, he's hit with a massive heart attack which leads to him wrapping his truck around power pole. As a karmic fuck you, the truck locks itself and burst into flames.
 
Harlan Wick said:
Seeing that his viewer numbers drop so badly that rebroadcasts of Alex Jones are higher than his own triggers heart palpations. May has fucked off and the latest baby sitter quit, so no one can feed him alcohol or Xanax. Leaving his stream and his child screaming in the background, Gunt hops into his trunk and races to the nearest pharmacy to get a "refill". While driving above the speed limit, he's hit with a massive heart attack which leads to him wrapping his truck around power pole. As a karmic fuck you, the truck locks itself and burst into flames.
Click to expand...
The baby sitter quit? LOL

Not that there's anything surprising about it, the place reeks of weed, tobacco, and alcohol, plus the continuous hollerin and cursing by the visually disgusting pig man upstairs.
 
I vote liver/kidney failure. Specifically after failing to go to dialysis because Meigh was too busy/fucked up/prego with demon 3.0 to take him.
History does rhyme after all.
 
He brags about Mexico First, but it's no joke. He's just asking for it: driving like a maniac in a bright red truck, is now on the local police's radar, being White & loud while live-streaming, flashing his paw-paw's ring & mucho gringo dollars
0B04E96B-BBD4-4DD6-9C49-B418B01BE7E1.jpeg
 
I’m also gonna have to go with OD. It’ll be either from taking something laced with fentanyl or just eating one xannie bar too many.
He’s just going to pass out on stream one day and not wake up.
 
Realistically? Looking at the state he's in recently nodding out on steam, either an OD or puking up and suffocating on his vomit. I think one of these days we're gonna see Ralph nodding off for the last time and the Horse won't be able to wake him up. The only question is if she reports it or just grabs Rozy.tv and bolts for the border and leaves Ralph to be eaten by rats.
Bonus points if she doesn't cut off the stream and it runs until the Mexican cops break in alerted to the smell and shut it down.
Knowing Ralph though he's equally likely to nod off while driving and stray into oncoming traffic taking out a family of 4 with him.
 
Procrastinhater said:
Realistically? Looking at the state he's in recently nodding out on steam, either an OD or puking up and suffocating on his vomit. I think one of these days we're gonna see Ralph nodding off for the last time and the Horse won't be able to wake him up. The only question is if she reports it or just grabs Rozy.tv and bolts for the border and leaves Ralph to be eaten by rats.
Bonus points if she doesn't cut off the stream and it runs until the Mexican cops break in alerted to the smell and shut it down.
Knowing Ralph though he's equally likely to nod off while driving and stray into oncoming traffic taking out a family of 4 with him.
Click to expand...
I honestly hope it does happen on stream. Not because I am a sick fuck who wants to watch him die. But because that way it isn't nodding off at the wheel and killing someone else.
 
Something many Xanax/alcohol abusers experience is colon rupture. The xanax slows and paralyzes the colon until feces builds up and it ruptures leading to septic shock and death within minutes to hours. The receptors that tell your brain you aren’t hungry stop working and we have all seen him constantly thinking he needs to eat. Ralph could literally and easily die from being full of shit.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom