The *Not* "Deadpool" thread - All theories are made up, in Minecraft, of course.

  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
I think he has a medical scare, perhaps a heart attack or some such. However, it's not too bad and he makes it to hospital with the help of Meigh and heavy lifting equipment.

There the doctors tell him if he doesn't stop taking xannies and drinking, he's going to die. His body is starting to show the signs of the damage he's done to it for years.

So he does, he stops... For a week or two, but the withdrawal from the xannies is too much and he needs more. So he's back on the sauce and the pills, and he's worse than ever and then like clockwork one day he turns off his stream and it never comes back on.

Meigh is devastated, because she's got no house, no job, no prospects and her family hate her. On the upside, Ralph's dead.
 
Whatever the cause, I think the small town mexican doctor that signs his death certificate will just put the spanish word for ''fat'' under cause of death.
 
a man can dream
 

Attachments

  • 149ba166a574b83e9f1733976be66600.jpg
    149ba166a574b83e9f1733976be66600.jpg
    59.2 KB · Views: 40
Realistically it's probably going to be an OD or choking on his own vomit after passing out drunk. But I'd like it to be that he gets into a shootout with US Police after a failed attempt to win back his E-Daddy and dies in Jim's Driveway.
 
Reposting here from here.

Ethan Ralph / drug overdose / June 9th, 2023
Jim Metokur / whatever his illness is idc / September 4th 2023
Onlyusemeblade / alcoholism / July 4th 2024
Andy Warski / drug overdose / March 18th 2025
Keffals / suicide / April 1st 2026
PPP / obesity / September 11th 2029
Joshua Conner Moon / "suicide" / April 12th 2026
 
Its easy to say heart attack, stroke or him wrapping his shitbox Nissan around a tree along with his horse and demon spawn, but I don't think we're going to be lucky enough to witness anything like that.

I'm putting my money on early-onset dementia. The signs are there already.

It'll be a fitting death and especially hard on his horse, if she really does love him. She'll witness him slowly disappear over time and will never be able to pinpoint exactly when she lost him. She'll never have any real closure, even when he's in the ground.

Much like the money, the fanbase, the popularity and his ability to control his bowel movements; Ralph will fade away into the void.

Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
 
It's gonna be car related. The man doesn't drink and drive he drinks TO drive. It's insane that he hasn't already crashed it on this bender knowing how he drives.
 
I think he will live another 30 years. Eventually just subsisting off of welfare or sponging money off of one of his children who he guilts into letting him live in an rv or shed on their property. Children are resilient, and its likely that at least one of his kids will able and willing to throw him a bone. His thread will be dead long before he is, and when he finally dies we will all feel incredibly old.
 
Jim returns to Ralph in a vision after his death and Ralph cleans himself up afterwards. While trying to quit xannies cold turkey, he begins to holler on his stream and dies of a massive stroke.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom