The *Not* "Deadpool" thread - All theories are made up, in Minecraft, of course.

[Pit Viper Salesman]

 

[Chris_Stuckmann]

After Meigh leaves him and Josh laughs at him on MATI, Ralph will use his last remaining funds to buy a ticket to Eastern Europe to hunt down Joshua Connor Moon and finally exact vengeance upon his blood enemy. However, Ralph will be unable to find his quarry, and after several weeks of searching he will find himself broke and penniless in the streets of Transnistria. Ethan Ralph will stumble upon a troupe of traveling Gypsies, and after willingly giving them all of his possessions they will accept him as one of their own. After that, he's never seen again.

 

[Generic Retard]

My bet is a xanny + alcohol mixed overdose while streaming and he sits there kaput for a few minutes before Meigh decides to actually do something and call a Mexican Ambulance.

She will ask him if he's alright, because it's obvious he's not. With his last strength he will shout at Meigh, call her a stupid bitch and tell her to feed Rozy or something.
Then Meigh will be too scared to check on him again and he will slowly fade out on-stream.
~Fin~

 

[daddydeath42069]

Suck starting a double barrel shotgun

you're going for the lowtax special I see

 

[karz]

Cirrhosis of the liver.

 

[Wimmig]

AIDS from being a homo.

 

[Magic Sun Daddy]

Best case scenario: heart failure or a drug overdose.

Worst case scenario:

 

[HodgePodgeRogerDodger]

In the most boring way, he’ll quietly have a heart attack to about 30 viewers who assumed he feel asleep.

Kinda like this. I doubt he’d rot on camera, too full of preservatives.

 

[ImNotJewish]

He will get to high om Benzo and beer, try to go to bed, fall back off the bed with his upper body so that gravity will pull the gunt around his face, and he chokes to death on his gunt while passed out

 

[Sea Hag Henderson]

I wanted to say he gets cartel'd, but I feel like that's missing the trademark Ralphamale stupidity.

I'm going with he finally gets to the point where he decides to buy a black market gun to end it all, then manages to get robbed and killed by the guy selling him the piece.

 

[Info Neutral Agency]

Ralph will figure out ways to not die from his heavy alcohol intake or pills he shoves down his throat. He should've been dead long ago, but he isn't. His health is failing, but his body is somehow going, no matter how much the decay process is accelerating. He has too much pride to die and a more enormous pussy to the concept of the End. Since he's an Atheist, he doesn't believe in Heaven or Hell. He'll be gone in the darkness of nothingness if he did die. Meigh, similar to Ralph, are identical in beliefs. No matter how much they fight, these retards have sticked together.
The only reasonable opinion of his death is the parents of the Babysitter to Rozie will kill him and/or Meigh. Previous streams have hinted that the person nannying Rozie is someone under 18. In one context, a teenager taking care of a baby while the parents are out would be considered normal. The problem, Kiwibros, is that Ralph and Amanda are proven to be sexually depraved. If anything ever happens to Ralphamale and the Horse, it would be the Babysitter and her parents if they did anything to her.

 

[Fivehead]

Ralph is rushed to the hospital and told that his kidneys and liver are failing. He will need dialysis for the foreseeable future and it’s very hot outside.

Ralph dying shortly after Pantsu refuses/forgets to drive him to dialysis would be quite poetic.

 

[Rose Breeder]

Tortured to death over the most insignificant of minutiae, in whatever lurid mulatto nightmare republic he makes the fateful decision to move to next. Alternatively, a motor vehicle collision that leaves serious doubt over the intentionality of the event.

I will be scantly awed if he makes it into 2025.

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

After another month of doing cheap Mexican tequilla and even cheaper Mexican meth he will come to his sense, bail and leave horsewomen and kid back in Mexico with no money to finally be with his true queen of hearts Kween Keffals. They will have very nasty sex and it will be the time of his live. Unfortunately he will catch some weird STD from Keffals' rotten axewound which will eat his body from inside but before he can die a slow and painfull death a heart attack will finish him off.
Nevertheless will he claim after his death that he got literally fucked to death bc this makes him sound more (r)alphamale (it won't but he's an idiot).

 

[Rubber Plant]

Trips over Rozy in a drunken stupor, smashes his head on a table and cracks it open, dies bleeding while pantsu laughs.

 

[A Traveler]

I'm a say he get's executed by the local cartel.

 

[Ghost of Guntmas Past]

He's getting robbed in South America by his "based Mexico lawyer"

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

Mr. Mantsu, in the Killroom, with the Rope, Revolver, Knife, Wrench, Axe and Dagger.

 

[GettrGriftr]

He starts to swoon on stream, grabbing at his chest, falling out of his breaking chair, and screaming, "DAMN YOU, MEDICARE! WHY WON'T YOU JUST DIE? (gurgle, splutter, final exhale)"

 

[Flaycreak]

Hopefully he pisses a cartel off and we see a literal Killstream on Blog del Narco.