Law The Mueller Report

The Mueller Report
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Well, it looks like we finally made it to the end of the line. To everyone who thought the Mueller report would drag on indefinitely: Take a sigh of relief. To everyone who thought the Mueller report would wind up resulting in impeachment proceedings: Sorry to disappoint, but that was never going to happen in the first place. In any event, we've made it to the end and somehow managed to avoid setting the country completely on fire, so that alone is worth a drink.

Seeing as how this is going to be THE most-spun political document since the fucking Clinton impeachment hearings, I'm not going to link to any articles about it. I don't care who has to say what about the Mueller report, be it FOX, MSNBC, CNN, or even smaller outlets like the Epoch Times. Everyone is going to spin this, so all I'm going to do is pore over the report and bring anything interesting to the fore, just like I did with the OIG Report on the Handling of the Clinton Email Investigation.

Yet again: The best advice I can offer is to read this yourself, but I don't expect everyone to do that because it's four-hundred fucking pages long. If you do not see a direct link to the information someone is quoting from this report so you can read the quote yourself, I'd advise disregarding it. If I do not directly quote something from the report and provide an easy way for you to look up the page for yourself, disregard it.

If you need an extremely-abridged TL;DR, I'll include one in the spoiler below. For everyone else: Buckle up, because I'm about to bore your fucking socks off.

Spoiler: TL;DR

 

[Coldgrip]

The walls are still closing in, you just have to look through a telescope to find them.

Oh there's a wall alright, only Trump is building it.

 

[ObeseScreamingBlackMan]

I’m thrilled that my tax dollars did so much good.

 

[Ineedahero]

So now that the entire intelligence community have admitted that 'her emails' were 100% retarded corrupt banana republic type bullshit that gave every hostile foreign power unfettered access to state secrets, we're going to see some action on it right?

 

[Don Herbert]

I’m thrilled that my tax dollars did so much good.

The net tax dollars the government received from 1000 people like me would maybe pay for 1 page of this completely useless political theater. This is why the government considers us ants.
Edit: Unsure of how to actually figure it as this has gone multiple years. Your tax dollars get burned in more insulting ways but they're usually less in your face about it. Either way, the Antoinette-Cortez's have no concern for such petty rounding errors.

 

[heyitsmike]

It's as simple as that. Had Bernie won the DNC Primary, they'd have did what they could for him to win, being the most predictable leader over Trump.

They were already trying to boost Bernie.

 

[Tomboy Respecter]

TDS is real.

How I read this:

I'm reading this and recognize my bias but am also signalling that nothing in this report can possibly make me rethink my statements about Trump because I know he's a criminal regardless of lack of evidence and I don't care to examine the source of my bias because I've accepted it exists--that's good enough.

Holy run on...These people are insane. I get what Fry was trying to say but what he really communicated was that he wasn't going to make the slightest attempt to overcome his bias because reasons?

By the way the Twitter is a fucking goldmine today.

I know this post is ancient but actors and actresses are idiots that are only good at pretending they're smart. The sad part is people fall for the charade hand-over-fist.

 

[Ledian]

This report is a worse waste of money than the wall because at least that exists to some degree. Within the report lies fuck all; a complete waste of time and money.

 

[Kumquat]

At this point all 400 pages of that report should just read "The Democrats will lose the 2020 election."

 

[Kermit the Frog]

After reading through the report, I have to say that I really struggled to get through it all. It's really boring and there surprisingly isn't a whole lot of new information revealed (after all, we had 2+ years of constant media leaks). I honestly feel like half or more of the information could have been taken out and we still would have gotten the whole picture. The collusion half of the report is especially dull, but the idea that collusion or cooperation or coordination or whatever took place has without a doubt been thoroughly debunked. The obstruction of justice half is more interesting, but it's still lame. A ton of tweet citing and article quoting going on, which is a fucking joke.
It was such a chickenshit move by Mueller and his team to not make a decision when it came to obstruction of justice. I'm guessing this was intentionally done so they wouldn't take the political heat. You either charge or you don't charge, and the law is binary in that way. So the decision was already made, and they're saying by virtue of not charging that there wasn't obstruction. What I'm thinking happened with that is when Barr read this indecisive horseshit, he decided to write his letter, which rightfully pointed out that the Special Counsel works for the Attorney General, must follow Department of Justice rules and any prosecutorial decision not made in the report was his to make. Obviously, Andrew Weissman didn't like that very much and so he immediately ran to the NYT and WaPo to "anonymously" complain and plant the coverup seeds, which the media was all too willing to grow.

This whole thing was a waste of everybody's time and our taxpayer dollars. A giant nothingburger.

 

[ICametoLurk]

 

[It's HK-47]

After reading through the report, I have to say that I really struggled to get through it all. It's really boring and there surprisingly isn't a whole lot of new information revealed (after all, we had 2+ years of constant media leaks). I honestly feel like half or more of the information could have been taken out and we still would have gotten the whole picture. The collusion half of the report is especially dull, but the idea that collusion or cooperation or coordination or whatever took place has without a doubt been thoroughly debunked. The obstruction of justice half is more interesting, but it's still lame. A ton of tweet citing and article quoting going on, which is a fucking joke.
It was such a chickenshit move by Mueller and his team to not make a decision when it came to obstruction of justice. I'm guessing this was intentionally done so they wouldn't take the political heat. You either charge or you don't charge, and the law is binary in that way. So the decision was already made, and they're saying by virtue of not charging that there wasn't obstruction. What I'm thinking happened with that is when Barr read this indecisive horseshit, he decided to write his letter, which rightfully pointed out that the Special Counsel works for the Attorney General, must follow Department of Justice rules and any prosecutorial decision not made in the report was his to make. Obviously, Andrew Weissman didn't like that very much and so he immediately ran to the NYT and WaPo to "anonymously" complain and plant the coverup seeds, which the media was all too willing to grow.

This whole thing was a waste of everybody's time and our taxpayer dollars. A giant nothingburger.

Yeah, I'm nearly done with it now. I just haven't posted any new entries into the thread because I swear that the last 200 pages are just fucking nothingness. It's just endless references to his fucking Tweets with absolutely no real substance to it. This entire document is a fucking $25,000,000 "He-said she-said, he-tweeted, she-tweeted" pile of crap that gives us pretty much nothing that we didn't already know.

I'm bored. I am actually bored by the Mueller report. The OIG report was way more fun than this. I also still have not seen any more references to the Steele dossier. If it was such an important document--according to the MSM that was shitting its pants over it a few years ago--where the fuck is it?

 

[pwnest injun]

Just thumbing through the report quickly I'd be willing to bet upwards of 98% of it is unredacted. Even Chuck Schumer said it should be released in "the most complete version it can be" and I think this is what that looks like.

Yeah, but that 2% is where all of they hid all of the absolute proof that they had to ignore to reach their conclusion!

 

[It's HK-47]

In the meantime: Apparently this report caused what was left of Seth Abramson's sanity to take a flying leap, and he's psychotically Tweeting away at some kind of turbo-autism megathread that's already passed 400+ tweets. He held it together for quite awhile, but I think this report broke him.

Edit:

(Vol. I, Pg. 11) Oooh, there's what they're doing. The Steele dossier is in here, they're just being very, very careful about how they discuss it. This entire paragraph screams "Steele Dossier" without actually coming out and saying it. Nice try, though.

 

[zap2theextreme]

Steele Dossier was opposition research by Hilary from the Ukrainians. It was floating around for a while, but no news agency would bite because it was obviously completely bullshit. The FBI then put the dossier into a briefing for the president to "warn" him there was possible compromising dirt on him. It was a calculated move on the FBI's part because now that the dossier was put into a briefing it became "news worthy" so now its contents could be reported on.

 

[Capsaicin Addict]

View attachment 730834
In the meantime: Apparently this report caused what was left of Seth Abramson's sanity to take a flying leap, and he's psychotically Tweeting away at some kind of turbo-autism megathread that's already passed 400+ tweets. He held it together for quite awhile, but I think this report broke him.

Edit:
View attachment 730851
(Vol. I, Pg. 11) Oooh, there's what they're doing. The Steele dossier is in here, they're just being very, very careful about how they discuss it. This entire paragraph screams "Steele Dossier" without actually coming out and saying it. Nice try, though.

I'm gonna toss a wild guess or two out here:

One, despite liberal autists screeching, I don't think they were ever able to verify the Steele dossier.

Two, as @zap2theextreme notes, the dossier was opposition 'research' purchased by the Clinton campaign. Make too much noise, and people start asking, 'Wait, if it's not legal for Trump Junior to meet with a Russian at the Trump Tower, why is it legal for Hillary Clinton's campaign to buy research from a British national?'.

Once again: rules for thee, not for me is their motto.

 

[It's HK-47]

(Vol. II, Pg. 157) I love how even the Special Counsel had to make note of the fact that Trump has an unusual talent for weaponizing his Twitter account.


(Vol. II, Pg. 182) And that's the end of it. I am actually very annoyed, because it seems as though Mueller went out of his way to ignore Special Counsel regulations which mandate that he make a definitive decision one way or another, just to take one last swing at Trump on the way out the door.

(c)Closing documentation. At the conclusion of the Special Counsel's work, he or she shall provide the Attorney General with a confidential report explaining the prosecution or declination decisions reached by the Special Counsel.

After two years and $25,000,000, Mueller didn't even perform the basic function of the job he was assigned to do. This pile of paperwork is so utterly useless that the entire Special Counsel's office should be ashamed of itself. If it didn't find evidence of his guilt then it clearly exonerates him of the crime; this is a binary issue. He didn't collude with any Russian officials in an attempt to sway the election, but because everyone involved was so viciously angry about that, they tried to pull every trick in the book to pin him on obstruction and they still couldn't do it, so rather than absolve him of that charge too, they just leave it up in the air so that even if there was any factual basis to Trump causing an obstruction to justice--which there isn't-- there's no basis in law to support it.

If there's no basis in law to support any of the charges and the Special Counsel declined to pursue any charges, that means he's innocent, no matter how much you might dislike the guy or think he's a sleaze. Your opinion of his personality is utterly irrelevant. There's no "Maybe" verdict in court.

It's also worth mentioning that even if the people who are vociferously insisting that all of the damning information is hidden behind the (12.4% total) redactions in the report, the Special Counsel would had to have completely ignored that information to come to their final conclusion. Whatever's tucked behind those black bars is not the Holy Grail of Collusion, and anyone who is insisting that it is is just a Birther 2.0.

 

[Matthew216]

I never expected the tantrum to last two years or be this severe.

Seriously did the Birthers last this long, or become this.....”passionate?”

 

[Absolutego]

Seriously did the Birthers last this long, or become this.....”passionate?”

Yes and yes, they just got very little attention for it because Birtherism caught on with anonymous conspiracy theorists online and a few Boomer rednecks, instead of the media.

 

[дядя Боря]

Seriously did the Birthers last this long, or become this.....”passionate?”

"Birtherism" was just the opposite of Mueller. There was a legit question that was met with millions $ spent on lawers in stonewalling it and all the media made fun of it because that bad photoshop suppose to pass for real thing and all the Obama's ties to radical left terrorist were off the table.

 

[heyitsmike]

God I hate the Democrats and the media. Taking into account Trump's personality, all of his actions seem very reasonable.

ZOMG! HE WAS GONNA FIRE SOMEBODY! OBSTRUCTION!!!!1!
So what, he didn't. His people told him it's a bad idea because it looks bad so he didn't do. That's what your people are supposed to do. "Hey boss, that motor is running hot, I strongly advise you to not run it. I know we're running behind in production, but running it is a very, very bad idea." What's the difference? None.
And Trump fires people out of frustration. Don't believe it? Ask Kirstjen Nielsen. Ask a whole lot of other former Cabinet members. It's what Trump does when he's frustrated.

BUT IF HE WUZ INNOCENT, WHY WOULD HE BE NERVOUS????
Umm, because he was afraid of getting framed. Look at all the accusers against Kavanaugh that came out of the woodwork, including Avenatti's hot mess of a client. Knowing the snakes that are the Democrats, I'd be nervous of them fabricating evidence too.

IF HE WUZN'T DIRTY, HE WOULDN'T BE THE SUBJECT OF SO MANY INVESTIGATIONS!!!1!1
Umm, Democrats are the ones behind the fucking investigations! They said the same thing about Kavanaugh. Democrats said Trump shouldn't have nominated someone with so much baggage. They were the reason for the baggage! It's like going to a job interview, they squirt mustard all over your suit and go, "Yeah, I don't think I can hire you. Your personal appearance is unacceptable." Yes motherfucker, because of you!

Since even Democrats concede that no collusion occured, even if he was charged, how is obstruction anything but entrapment? A lot of people claim entrapment as a defense, but this seems like actual entrapment. Entrapment is defined as inducing someone to commit a crime they otherwise would not have committed. If not for a baseless collusion investigation, he would have never even been in position to obstruct the investigation.

Ugh, fuck Democrats. I can't see how you could vote for those fuckers. If the President of the United States is vulnerable to government persecution, what does that say about a regular American?