The Guntography - The Trials And Tribulations Of Ethan Ralph

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Diddler Dax will be roped into writing the foreword - but then say Italian mobsters broke all his fingers bickers he owed them money for the mortgage on his chicano made hovel barbie dream house.

Which would probably be true this time
 
not william stenchever said:
If Ralph didn't narrate it we could train a neural network to do it for us.
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You'd have to feed it just audio of Ralph hollerin' or it comes out sounding too sane and polite.
AI can't replicate the Ralphaholler with accuracy yet, theres a long way to go before we have an effective Ralphaborg.
 
Waffle Stompin' Waffen said:
I would read and even purchase a book Ralph wrote but only on the condition that he did an OJ Simpson style admission of guilt written from a hypothetical perspective.
What are some good titles for his book?
"If I Farted" has a nice ring to it
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"Shitting all over myself and Gettin' Paid - the Ethan Ralph Story"
 
I want a Tolkien-esque set of appendices which are literally just screenshots of tweets from Vickers, Pantsu and Morris captioned with reasons why they vindicate Ralph, plus crudely drawn maps of Ralph’s travels across the earth.

I also want an absurd amount of footnotes throughout the book that take up half of each page explaining the same. It could be a very funny book, half actual events and half footnotes deviating from the main point and explaining why *it’s actually Gator who is a traitor and a faggot in this instance, and why *Metokur is actually the one actually running away to Mexico to avoid legal servicing, and how, *actually, it was Mundane Matt who killed 10 puppies in an oven, coward.
 
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Reotardo da Vinci said:
I want a Tolkien-esque set of appendices which are literally just screenshots of tweets from Vickers, Pantsu and Morris captioned with reasons why they vindicate Ralph, plus crudely drawn maps of Ralph’s travels across the earth.

I also want an absurd amount of footnotes throughout the book that take up half of each page explaining the same. It could be a very funny book, half actual events and half footnotes deviating from the main point and explaining why *it’s actually Gator who is a traitor and a faggot in this instance, and why *Metokur is actually the one actually running away to Mexico to avoid legal servicing, and how, *actually, it was Mundane Matt who killed 10 puppies in an oven, coward.
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>Tolkien-esque lore book
The Xanirillion? 🤔
 
I want it to be
Reotardo da Vinci said:
I want a Tolkien-esque set of appendices which are literally just screenshots of tweets from Vickers, Pantsu and Morris captioned with reasons why they vindicate Ralph, plus crudely drawn maps of Ralph’s travels across the earth.
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I want it to be hand written, I bet Ralph has loopy girly hand writing.
 
I think the only way to really do a Ralph book justice is to take Ralph's story and feed it through an AI trained on his streams year by year. That way as you read Ralph's recollection of his life, as time passes, the writing becomes sloppier, more repetitive and incomprehensible as the addictions, spite and desperation take root inside him.
 
Mr E. Grifter said:
Ralph has teased this for literal years, it won't happen because it takes both effort and lucidity. He cannot maintain either for any significant amount of time.
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Not really effort or lucidity so much as patience. Any retard can write something long enough to turn into a book if they put enough time in, but that's time he'd rather spend on booze, drugs, and 5 peso hookers.
 
ScamL Likely said:
Not really effort or lucidity so much as patience. Any retard can write something long enough to turn into a book if they put enough time in, but that's time he'd rather spend on booze, drugs, and 5 peso hookers.
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Depends, are we talking about a book or a 40 page blog post about how he never did nothing wrong, no sireee.
 
What's to say about my childhood other than that it kicked ass?

Ever since I walked out my momma's womb, I had respect. The doctors who delivered me into this world knew better than to slap my ass when I was born. That's 'cuz he knew I'd beat his ass outta Memphis had he done it.

But being awesome has its downsides. Everyone knew to avoid me because they knew I had a temper to match my prowess. That made my daddy jealous to the point where he'd drink himself stupid every night because he knew he wouldn't be as good as me. He'd even try to beat me every chance he got...

Keyword try.

You'd think my daddy would've gotten the message not to beat me after the seventeenth time I beat his ass in front of God and momma. But all the other kids knew better to mess with me. But there was one kid who thought he could fuck with me. He'd call me fat and say that I had pig slits for eyes. Too bad for him that one day his dog hung itself over the back of a chair while we was at school. Now of course, to this day, that faggot claims that I'm the one who hung it over the back of that kitchen chair. But there ain't no way he can prove that.

Kids wanted to be me. All my hot teachers wanted to suck my dick. That was the way it was all the way from kindergarten to my senior year of high school. But that taught me a valuable lesson in life, that all women are whores and the only thing they're good for is getting my dick wet. That's a lesson I'd carry with me all my life.
 
If he did write a book you know there is going to be a chapter on how he "Destroyed Mundane Matt's Career" and a chapter dedicated Jim which will be an elongated whinge like the two articles he posted and ending by flexing he is still alive and has children.
 
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