The Great Bread War

[Party Hat Wurmple]

American bread fucking blows. There is no decent bread in America. It's all loaded with sugar. It's legally classified as cake in any other country. I love America and I'm America all the way but we've fucking lost the Bread War.

If you have any decent American bread, post it below. Homemade bread is disqualified because homemade will always be better than store bought.

 

[draggs]

What kind of jank ass bread are you buying that is so full of sugar it tastes like cake?

Also Null won't like you any better for this transparent attempt at laving his anus

 

[PositiveMonk]

There's a bakery that's local to me so I don't want to describe it too specifically. It's carried in the local grocery stores and their bread quality is better than anything else in said stores. It still doesn't beat homemade but it comes pretty close.

Homemade bread is disqualified because homemade will always be store bought.

What?

 

[Male Idiot]

Why is there sugar in the bread?

I guess if you want it for Nutella sure.

But I can't fathom it with meat.

 

[Toji Suzuhara]

Most bread in the US is basically cake in disguise, that's a big problem

 

[Lord of the Large Pants]

At least our cheese is still better.

 

[TheArtilleryman]

Buy a mill (you can get hand operated or electrical), acquire grains and make your own bread, it's easy. It's time we start acting like a competant civilisation damn it.

 

[Party Hat Wurmple]

What kind of jank ass bread are you buying that is so full of sugar it tastes like cake?

Also Null won't like you any better for this transparent attempt at laving his anus

I had some awful bread recently that spurred this rant.

There's a bakery that's local to me so I don't want to describe it too specifically. It's carried in the local grocery stores and their bread quality is better than anything else in said stores

There's a lot of bakeries near me but they still have cakey-bread that has the wrong texture and is on the sweeter side. They've all greatly disappointed me.

What?

Fixed. Thanks. I'm tired.

Why is there sugar in the bread?

There just is in America for some reason. All their bread is loaded with sugar. It's gross.

 

[Catgirl Tyranid]

The best bread I get is the stuff we buy from the farmer's market from local ladies with names like "The Silly Bread Lady" or "Bully Bakers".

It tastes good, but I suspect I've never had legitimately great bread before. The kind that has been refined over generations has been lost.

 

[PositiveMonk]

There's a lot of bakeries near me but they still have cakey-bread that has the wrong texture and is on the sweeter side. They've all greatly disappointed me.

What kinds of breads are you buying? Most of my opinion on this subject comes from recently becoming infatuated with both normal people bread baking and gluten free bread baking. I've found most of the recipes I encounter that call for sugar call for a very small amount and have mostly been quick breads. I tend to find it impacting the texture more than the sweetness, and even quick breads made without sugar are a bit too sweet for me as they haven't had the time to develop the tangy flavor I prefer in my bread. If it's white sandwich bread, that feels like cake to me no matter what. When it comes to the bakery I mentioned previously, they have a nice round loaf that isn't too sweet. I can still taste some sort of addition that doesn't feel like it belongs though.

 

[Breadbassket]

For this topic in mind here is an archived article going over the sugar content that are present in many varieties of mass-produced bread made in the United States.

 

[Dagoth AMOGUS]

Rule of thumb, if the ingredients list sounds like a Greek Orthodox Mass, then don’t eat it.

Bread should be this: flour, water, salt (optional)

 

[Ultrapenguin]

Why is there sugar in the bread?

I guess if you want it for Nutella sure.

But I can't fathom it with meat.

Here in Amerifat land if there's a manufactured mass market food item, there is an almost 100% chance it's got sugar in it. That means if someone eats a slop diet consisting of mainly processed food they probably think any item without sugar tastes weird.

These are the type of people who say they can't handle drinking plain water because they only ever drink soda or other sugary fare. Their bodies have long since assimilated with fatness to become a perfect being engineered by the cosmos to produce type 2 diabetes. Even if they are somehow not obese physically due to favorable genetics or methamphetamine abuse, they are obese spiritually.
There's a reason we're rapidly approaching a 50% obesity rate.

Basically unless you eat an unprocessed diet or know what to look out for and spend a lot of time reading food ingredient panels, you're probably getting hazardous amounts of sugar, sodium, and hydrogenated fats smuggled into your body. It's not a good situation.

 

[Nicholas Gur]

Why is there sugar in the bread?

I guess if you want it for Nutella sure.

But I can't fathom it with meat.

Sugar feeds the yeast. American "food" is loaded with sugar because it's an addictive drug. Also sugar with meat isn't uncommon bbq sauce is loaded with sugar so I typically only eat it if its prepared dry.

 

[Hey Johnny Bravo]

My wife and I started baking our own bread. It's easy and delicious. This is how Americans win the Bread War.

 

[Party Hat Wurmple]

When it comes to the bakery I mentioned previously, they have a nice round loaf that isn't too sweet. I can still taste some sort of addition that doesn't feel like it belongs though

A lot of store bought American bread is sweeter or has gummier texture than bread you get overseas. There's just something not right with it.

 

[oldTireWater]

I wish I could bake bread, but yeast is straight fucking black magic to me. That shit is impossible to satisfy. My lifetime bread success rate is well under 20%.

 

[Male Idiot]

Here in Amerifat land if there's a manufactured mass market food item, there is an almost 100% chance it's got sugar in it. That means if someone eats a slop diet consisting of mainly processed food they probably think any item without sugar tastes weird.

These are the type of people who say they can't handle drinking plain water because they only ever drink soda or other sugary fare. Their bodies have long since assimilated with fatness to become a perfect being engineered by the cosmos to produce type 2 diabetes. Even if they are somehow not obese physically due to favorable genetics or methamphetamine abuse, they are obese spiritually.
There's a reason we're rapidly approaching a 50% obesity rate.

Basically unless you eat an unprocessed diet or know what to look out for and spend a lot of time reading food ingredient panels, you're probably getting hazardous amounts of sugar, sodium, and hydrogenated fats smuggled into your body. It's not a good situation.

I read the article, it is just so silly. I don't get the why.

Why put sugar in bread if you aren't eating it with sweets. That is insane like deep fried Snickers bars or chocolate coated bacon.

 

[souschef]

I wish I could bake bread, but yeast is straight fucking black magic to me. That shit is impossible to satisfy. My lifetime bread success rate is well under 20%.

High heat kills yeast
Cold slows yeast

That's all you need to know

 

[Chilson]

Why is there sugar in the bread?

I guess if you want it for Nutella sure.

But I can't fathom it with meat.

Sugar is useful when mixed with spices then applying it to meat due to how it sticks to the meat. You don't add an excessive amount, maybe like 15-30 grams per 2 lbs of meat, but a tiny bit of sweetness also compliments my meat spice mixture.

I wish I could bake bread, but yeast is straight fucking black magic to me. That shit is impossible to satisfy. My lifetime bread success rate is well under 20%.

easy bread just follow the link for an easy bread recipe. If your yeast has been siting for a while, test it in some sugar water. If it foams your yeast is alive, if it rises with no foam your yeast is dead.

Store you yeast in the fridge if you want it to last a bit longer.