The Golden Knight - General Thread

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Making Gilded his mentor would mean acknowledging someone else as superior to him in some way. We all know how GK feels about that.
 
https://youtube.com/watch?v=71yYfzFuAKkShould be processed by 2 AM Pacific.
Post the time stamps for your fav moments when you find them, so folks don't have to sit through 5 hours of autism.
3:27:40 for Blossom doll sperging. ("Isn't she kyoot?")
3:30:30 for a hawt workout session.
3:44:10 for awkward dancing followed by some hawt übermanly pushups.
Oh, also at 3:56:50 Jay gets a tad excited about a person in chat asking Goldaylocks to shove dead animals up her vag. To state the obvious: Jay's a creep.
 
Well, I'm 100% sure that he will earn absolutely nothing.

He will never get partnered by Twitch, because he doesn't have enough viewers (partners are able to play ads during streams to generate ad revenue) plus he's not the most charming fella out there and wouldn't get more than maybe a few joke subscribers for one month (one subscription costs $5 for a month and half of that goes to Twitch). And he won't get any donations from adoring fans because no one will take Rocksmith streams seriously. So yeah, his earnings will stay at zero twitch bux.

Some streamers are able to stream on Twitch for living, but that actually requires some effort or DSP-esque luck. And donations, because subs and ad revenue only go so far.
This.

Twitch want you to have consistently >500 viewers before they'll even consider you. Jay got 50 people who are likely all from here except for a couple of devianTARTS. He's pretty much hit his headroom in terms of potential viewers, unless his streams are consistently failtastic enough to attract other lolcow-watchers. He isn't going to reach 500 even so.

Even if he did, Twitch pay around $0.002 dollars per viewer per commercial. If Jay had 500 viewers and plays 4 commercials an hour, that's $4 an hour. Maryland minimum wage is ~$7.50 an hour. The Dell technician job that Jay couldn't hack apparently paid $14 an hour. Geek Squad will pay closer to $10.

Back to leeching off Daddy, then Jay. What a fantastic Libertarian he is.
 
I remember asking him yesterday on the twitch chat would he sell his dong for $$$.
Surprisingly he said he need his dong to survive or if not he would die.

Well at least Jay knows a piece of biology at this point.

I wonder in which part of the recorded stream is when he reacted to my question. I presume it's in between the 3:40:00 & 5:00:00 hour mark of the video.
 
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It sounds like a forced pronunciation, a little like an American version of RP would sound, I think, certainly doesn't sound like any US accent I've heard. It has the side effect of making him sound perpetually angry though.
 
Timestamps for OBAMATRON's video of the first Golden Stream:

1:35:45 Jay's bizzare laugh causes his mic to phase
1:35:25 "my mullet, my grin, my BOOM voice"

1:57:56 Jay's 'Golden Knight' came from Sonic Adventure 2
1:59:00 Jay calls his audience "minions". Blathers about how he wants to be a legend. Backtracks from "minions" around 1:59:40
2:00:30 apologises for offending, sounds incredibly insincere
2:08:09 "what do you think I am? A pedophile?" *laughs*
2:09:21 'doxes' Amanda, she is his "cutie sexy Blah-sum". Tries to guilt-trip her. He wants everyone to hear her "Bit-tish accent".
2:11:03 his parents know "the epicness they have given birth to" They love him, he loves them.
2:11:30 "friends and fans - kinda the same thing really"
2:12:54 "Kiwi Forums"
2:15:01 Jay lists the things that MotLW rips off. PPG, Bomberman the Second Attack - but not Iron Man
2:17:10 Jay explains in detail how nettles work, adds that they're "quite kinky"
2:22:28 Jay invokes the Nuremburg defence for killing the squirrels "I had my orders!"
2:23:09 Jay admits killing squirrels was a pleasure
2:23:26 Jay impersonates a chewing squirrel. The music makes it more disturbing
2:24:03 Jay wants to be famous by "now. Or maybe a couple years from now"
2:23:38 Jay's run for class president was AWESOME but he didn't make the cut, maybe they didn't like his speech about how everything was great
2:25:03 Jay didn't win
2:25:21 "I don't renember. And even if I did I rather not."
2:27:59 "I praise you mortals for drawing epic fan art!"
2:28:39 Jay did NOT get aroused from killing squirrels
2:29:10 It would be Jay's pleasure to kill a human who was proving themselves evil
2:29:42 Evil is stuff like death threats, unprovoked murder attempts, destroying stuff, robbing. Jay would kill vandals and robbers with pleasure.
2:30:43 "Killing in war is cool 'cos it's war" The only reason Jay isn't a marine is because it's not all about killing. He'd be Lt or Cpt Jay otherwise.
2:32:00 Jay doesn't think he'll take art classes
2:40:55 Jay foot fetish as a boy
2:41:15 Kiwi forums must die; killed his sweetheart
2:41:32 "anyway"
2:43:38 Jay insists Gloryhammer is not a parody band. Weird Al is. They have the epic story of Angus McFife, Prince of the Land of Fife.
2:44:15 "love me or hate, I am all of me"
2:45:25 Jay reads a review pointing out Gloryhammer is a parody. Jay still thinks they're awesome.
2:46:19 It's still epic to him, dammit
2:48:37 Jay sings!
2:50:10 Jay loves a piece of fan art. Sings some more
2:50:50 Rock! Rock! Rock! Rock!
2:51:20 'Singing' intensifies. Jay goes screamo.
2:51:40 "I sound like a retard. And I'm out of breath"
2:54:52 Jay can't pronounce "ableit", says "al-bite".
3:01:56 Jay normally gets his butt whupped in multiplayer games
3:02:20 "Everyone deserves a chance. EVERYone. Even the autistic and Downs' syndromes"

4:06:23 "she is my heartsweet"
4:07:41 "my heart level is 100%"
4:08:16 "my love quest is oficially over"
4:09:21 love sigh
4:10:23 Jay can't pronounce "bestow"

4:22:07 - 4:23:04 Jay plays air guitar, 'sings', and sways to some very manly music.

4:50:58 our hero gets reported to the Jerkops
4:52:27 Jay holds his head in his hands
 
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