The Golden Knight - General Thread

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ABOUT JAY
  • The hills are alive with the sound of GUNFIRE! :3

    If you want peace, you must prepare for war. "Peace" is a luxury granted to pacifists that is paid in full by warriors, soldiers, and heroes. Don't forget: Rock beats scissors.

    With a heart of gold and a will of steel, I am the perfect choice for battling evil. I am actually working on my own TV series. I also have a few parodies and farces. If you have any questions about any of my works, please direct them to me. Also, I recently made Distinguished Expert rank in the NRA smallbore rifle qualification. This is the highest rank, and very few earn this, especially people in Maryland.

    I'm a loney guy who's looking for some girl to jump into my arms. Everyone that I think is decent always has a date and/or relationship already. Oh well. I'll keep trying to look for someone to settle with, but it's sad to search and wait for something that will never happen. Also, since no one reads these sort of write-ups, what difference will it make?

    Down with censors, and "cliques" are for suckers and clones.
FAVORITE QUOTES
  • "ROCK ON!!!" I
    "There will always be evil in the world. Wherever there is evil, there must be someone ready to kick its butt. That's where I come in!" I
    "THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAAA!" Leonidas & I
    "Spartans, prepare for glory!" Leonidas
    "YES! I AM INVINCIBLE!" Boris, 007 Goldeneye
    "Jay is gay.
    Jay: Hmmm, well I AM feeling joyus and bubbly. You actually have somewhat of a point with that! :D"
    "All natural - that's how I like my food; that's how I like my women." Jay

    "Look: Sombertown!" Chris Kringle
    "The ogre's butt." Rubert?
    "If you give, they'll give back. If you take, they'll take back." ME!
    War out!
Might be old, but not everyone has fb.
 
OBAMATRON said:
Might be old, but not everyone has fb.
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I've read his shit from over four years ago, he hasn't change. All he's cared about his entire adult life is getting his comic book published and buying a fucking suit of golden armour. The most effort he put into his love quest was creeping on dA girls until he found Heather. Just kidding, he kept creeping on girls over the internet while they were dating.

So, uh, yeah. I'd consider it relevant.
 
If you want peace, you must prepare for war. "Peace" is a luxury granted to pacifists that is paid in full by warriors, soldiers, and heroes. Don't forget: Rock beats scissors.
Click to expand...
The hell does Rock paper scissors have to do with a line he probably stole from Jace?
 
"YES! I AM INVINCIBLE!" Boris, 007 Goldeneye

And then that character got covered in liquid nitrogen and was shattered. Irony totally lost on Jay.
 
Batman VS Tony Danza said:
"YES! I AM INVINCIBLE!" Boris, 007 Goldeneye

And then that character got covered in liquid nitrogen and was shattered. Irony totally lost on Jay.
Click to expand...

He also completely failed to stop the GoldenEye EMP satellite from burning up in orbit right before, so it's a double whammy :roll:
 
What I've always found very interesting about the protagonists developed in the many works of fiction by out various collection of Lolcows - Chris, Moleman, GK, and Jace coming most readily to mind - is that by and large, their protagonists are very straightforward and boring. Chris' may be the moldbreaker insofar as his protagonist actually suffers crippling setbacks, even if he's still a massive sue at the end of the day. Jace's COMMANDER STRYKER is incredibly vanilla and his sole trait is "Badass." Moleman is inexorable and borderline unreadable, so less said the better. GK however, is the ur-example - every character he has is not only a self-insert, not only impossibly less characterful than any of CWC's chars, but actually worse, since they tend to show off both Jay's horrifying fetishes and disturbing ideas at the same time.

And yet, you never see any of these characters lock onto the very essence of what it means to actually be a hero. Never for the lolcows are stories with legitimate weight and impact. You will never, for example, see a CWC story wherein Chris has to deal with a damned-if-he-does-damned-if-he-doesn't situation (and doesn't get to take his special win-forever option). Never will you see COMMANDER STRYKER be willing to sacrifice his own well being for the greater good. It will be a cold day in RuleCWC before GK ever writes a story in which his self-insert must make a decision with actual weight and consequences and actually pay for the costs. Moleman will stop issuing death-threats on Wikis long before one of his utterly inexplicable protagonists ever takes responsibility and faces justice for a mistake they make.

One has to wonder why this seems to be an ongoing commonality. One can very easily determine that it's the 'Tism, since that's got a documented tendency to hinder societal cues and norms, but then there's many autistic people without this tendency. Maybe there's just some undercurrent with lolcows, some interconnecting metaphysical thread that links them across their fiction.
 
Should be processed by 2 AM Pacific.
Post the time stamps for your fav moments when you find them, so folks don't have to sit through 5 hours of autism.
littlebiscuits said:
You're editing out the Heather info that he dropped? Good for you, very good for you. You're a good guy @OBAMATRON . That's a swell thing to do.
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I'm a flaming asshole the rest of the time.
 
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Jaimas said:
What I've always found very interesting about the protagonists developed in the many works of fiction by out various collection of Lolcows - Chris, Moleman, GK, and Jace coming most readily to mind - is that by and large, their protagonists are very straightforward and boring. Chris' may be the moldbreaker insofar as his protagonist actually suffers crippling setbacks, even if he's still a massive sue at the end of the day. Jace's COMMANDER STRYKER is incredibly vanilla and his sole trait is "Badass." Moleman is inexorable and borderline unreadable, so less said the better. GK however, is the ur-example - every character he has is not only a self-insert, not only impossibly less characterful than any of CWC's chars, but actually worse, since they tend to show off both Jay's horrifying fetishes and disturbing ideas at the same time.

And yet, you never see any of these characters lock onto the very essence of what it means to actually be a hero. Never for the lolcows are stories with legitimate weight and impact. You will never, for example, see a CWC story wherein Chris has to deal with a damned-if-he-does-damned-if-he-doesn't situation (and doesn't get to take his special win-forever option). Never will you see COMMANDER STRYKER be willing to sacrifice his own well being for the greater good. It will be a cold day in RuleCWC before GK ever writes a story in which his self-insert must make a decision with actual weight and consequences and actually pay for the costs. Moleman will stop issuing death-threats on Wikis long before one of his utterly inexplicable protagonists ever takes responsibility and faces justice for a mistake they make.

One has to wonder why this seems to be an ongoing commonality. One can very easily determine that it's the 'Tism, since that's got a documented tendency to hinder societal cues and norms, but then there's many autistic people without this tendency. Maybe there's just some undercurrent with lolcows, some interconnecting metaphysical thread that links them across their fiction.
Click to expand...
I think that autism - or at least a reduced ability to empathise with others as a result of autism - is the common factor.
Interestingly, I'm not sure Jace is autistic, and he's the only one of the lolquartet you mentioned to have created something I found emotionally moving (Stryker's attempted suicide at the end of the Sims 3 stream).
With the others, I don't believe they are able to understand how fictional characters are meant to be feeling or why. This is why they're drawn toward media featuring fast, colourful action, violence or sex - things which make them feel excited.
When they come to make their own "creations", they end up recycling from existing media because they don't know what makes something cool or entertaining. Therefore, they feel that putting something together featuring stuff with a track record of being cool will automatically make their thing cool.
And to them, it does. Chris no doubt thought having the Power Rangers in CWC Defence was awesome. Since they did nothing at all that was interesting, his readers likely disagreed.
Incidentally I have no idea how Jay managed to get a film studies degree with so poor a grasp of narrative construction or characterisation...
 
OBAMATRON said:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=71yYfzFuAKkShould be processed by 2 AM Pacific.
Post the time stamps for your fav moments when you find them, so folks don't have to sit through 5 hours of autism.
Click to expand...

3:27:40 for Blossom doll sperging. ("Isn't she kyoot?")
3:30:30 for a hawt workout session.
3:44:10 for awkward dancing followed by some hawt übermanly pushups.
 
Voice of Jay Geis supplied by Pete Puma:
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Jay looks and sounds like a Jockey from Left 4 Dead. I wonder if a sound replacement mod is in order. :lol:
 
Video should be working for everyone not in Canada or Germany. Jay just had to play music the entire fucking time.
 
I have to say I struggled watching the stream live. There were a couple of points when I felt actual anger (enjoying squirrel killing, kissing and telling etc.) and I had to leave because otherwise I would have started to :alog: in the stream chat.
 
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