The Game Oversimplification Thread - Take any game and intentionally make it sound boring

[c-no]

A European immigrant learns America isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Grand Theft Auto 4

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole]

Layin' pipe isn't what you imagined it to be.

Our employer didn't even equip us with shovels before they sent us out.

My dad took over some lands and it killed me more than once in brutal ways, but I survived(oh, it's a long story) and didn't let it break my cheerful attitude. Maybe people found that off putting so I'm trying to be goth now.

 

[Bob Page]

After a ruler died, three factions fight over some sand nigger planet where all the cocaine is.

 

[c-no]

After a ruler died, three factions fight over some sand nigger planet where all the cocaine is.

Dune

You wake up in some bunker and you need to kill a guy.

 

[American Lollinator Mace]

You're a douchebag on vacation with a writer's block and you hate your fans.

Alan Wake?

It's WWI and your party is full of weirdos. Also, demons are involved.

 

[Burned Man]

Naw, it's Alan Wake

Here's a good one:

You and your brother are plumbers stuck in the middle of an invasion.

Freedom Fighters. One game I still hope for a sequel to some day.

 

[Vault Boy]

You're a fortunate mailman on an adventure to retrieve a stolen package.

 

[Burned Man]

You're a fortunate mailman on an adventure to retrieve a stolen package.

Why its New Vegas of course.

A man from Argentina shoots rockets at aliens.

 

[Tron: Deadly Dicks]

Freedom Fighters. One game I still hope for a sequel to some day.

Woah, on first try even! I was half-hoping someone would say one of the Super Mario Bros games

1) You're in shanghai for business but get stuck there and you need to escape.
2) You're an orphan running away from a crazed child.
3) You have roughly 6 hours to stop a satellite and save the president.
4) You have to rescue the princess from pigs and lizards and all you have is a sword and a jetpack.
5) HP Lovecraft but with bazookas and shotguns.

 

[Bob Page]

You wake up in some bunker and you need to kill a guy

S.T.A.L.K.E.R. Shadow of Chernobyl

 

[Duncan Hills Coffee]

People want to get off a ride but can't.

 

[Nobunaga]

You are sent to kill an arms dealer because he makes everyone near him butt hurt

 

[ZehnBoat]

you have 10 seconds before a meteor hits the planet

 

[Tron: Deadly Dicks]

You are sent to kill an arms dealer because he makes everyone near him butt hurt

Far Cry 2?

 

[Penultimo]

Here's my take.

1 Two schoolboys going to a sauna.

2 DDR but Korean.

3 You are pig in his 60s.

4 A guy/elf/orc/cat/lizard goes crazy because everybody is ugly and has the same voice.

5 You play as a mind controlling crystal.

6 Halo, but tactical and with public domain aliens.

 

[Duncan Hills Coffee]

4 A guy/elf/orc/cat/lizard goes crazy.

Any given Elder Scrolls game?

 

[Burned Man]

Woah, on first try even! I was half-hoping someone would say one of the Super Mario Bros games

1) You're in shanghai for business but get stuck there and you need to escape.
2) You're an orphan running away from a crazed child.
3) You have roughly 6 hours to stop a satellite and save the president.
4) You have to rescue the princess from pigs and lizards and all you have is a sword and a jetpack.
5) HP Lovecraft but with bazookas and shotguns.

1) Army of Two the 4oth Day
4) Sparkster or Rocket Knight

 

[John Titor]

Alan Wake?

It's WWI and your party is full of weirdos. Also, demons are involved.

Shadow Hearts

Here's one: "I got into one little fight and then I got sued and said you're moving with your uncle"

 

[Penultimo]

Any given Elder Scrolls game?

The fourth one to be specific.

 

[Tron: Deadly Dicks]

1) Army of Two the 4oth Day
4) Sparkster or Rocket Knight

1) Trick question! It's Kane and Lynch 2: Dog Days (which I unironically love)
4) yes!