🔎 If you see an alert for analytics.usips.org, this is a self-hosted system I am running as a test. It is GDPR compliant and collects no invasive information.
Want to keep track of this thread?
Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading. Create account
It's nothing short of a miracle that TR projects and Elder Scrolls in general hasn't been cannibalised by the Troon menace that infects every pc game franchise it touches, but shit like this makes me think it's only a matter of time.
hasn't been cannibalised by the Troon menace that infects every pc game franchise it touches, but shit like this makes me think it's only a matter of time
This is Khan Hlaalu, an ambitious and unscrupulous dunmer that came from the boat straight out of Cyrodil. Upon arriving in Seyda Neen, i wasn't gonna waste my time with yokels, so i set my sights on the Hlaalu town of Balmora, where i would establish my base of operations and the beggining of my jewish elf empire. Using my social skills, i befriended every single merchant so i could expand my portfolio of legal and illegal things for me to sell. I needed to unload my sugar and skooma somewhere and what's the best place if not a certain alchemist shop owned by Ajira, my beloved? Enough septims earned to acquire my state, now my work can begin
I'm a prime candidate for a Hlaalu retainer, a shrewd negotiatior and skilled agent, able to get in and out of situations undetected, great set of skills for also raising funds working for the criminal underbelly performing heists for the thieves guild. With enough money i invested on shops and also on training, now able to craft poisons for my assassinations, i could raise a few ranks at Great House Hlaalu
Using my jeweler profession as a front, i supply the decadent burgeousie of Morrowind with elegant trinkets while i poison them with drugs that i supply the filthy khaajiti. Everything is reinvested. While smuggling dwarven weapons for a local nord weaponsmith, he allowed me to peruse his stock, which had a dwarven jinxblade, a godsend to my build. With it i could dispach certain guards and assassinate a kwarma queen for profit. One of the guards had a glass jinxblade, a welcome backup for my squishy build. I am a shrewd negotiator and i can sell everything for a hefty premium while cutting purchasing prices almost at half (+70 mercantile)
god i love roleplaying on this game
Biggest hurdles so far i have basically no magic aptitute, a measly 50 mana points. I raised just enough Mysticism so i could use recall reliably. I can't even cast my flashy illusion spells. I'm really relying on potions, poisons and scrolls on this run, which is not a big deal, since i can afford it
I think i'll just do Tamriel Rebuilt stuff before even bothering with Caius Cosades informant quests. I don't care about being the Nerevarine, i just want to profit at the expense of the N'wah
Hardly used the site since I rarely saw anyone actually use it. It never had anything I wanted nor much of interest, way more people looking for paywalled mods than uploading them. Unironically the old Reddit was more useful, along with various Discords. Not much of value was lost.
"Guys I'm just acting like a tranny ironically, I'm totally not tweets faggotry like this and dressing up like a femboy because I'm secretly wishing I was a woman!" Fuck's sake Zaric, I know you were an huge autist but I didn't think you're start acting like this. The autist to tranny pipeline is willing to wait as long as it takes it seems...
One last promotion, this time for the temple, i feel like my character half way stopped being a temple merciful healer kinda guy and instead became more of a cold killer asshole after being too long with the Telvanni but i guess for the Dunmer thats their version of empathy and care.
Nothing like making your pope the 6'7ft tall creepy bastard that not long ago murdered in cold blood someone for his magic shoes.
Everything went well, i even discovered were the shrine is for curing vampirism, maybe i'll do a vampire run with another character, i also got the ebony mail, my days of surviving at 1 HP from a slight breeze of a daedra swinging a weapon to my general direction are over.
I liked the temple, the missions are a bit lengthy but i dont mind it, it really inmerses you on the life of the dunmer and as an autistic fantasy nerd i love that kind of shit i just wish there were more missions about healing people, i also like you get to keep the artifacts after you become patriarch sadly the majority suck ass but i'll wear some of em for RP purposes like the shirt and shoes.
And of course after i was ascended as the voice of the people's main religion, the Holiest man of them all second to Vivec, i instantly strike a deal with The Daedric Prince of Demonetizations. Found him randomly while jumping around
Displeased with his top guy's reducing himself to being a lowly discord groomer in his gooncave instead of being a proper rapist he sent me to teach him how rape is done so i summoned the boys to gang rape him, Molag didnt mind that i also soultrapped him after thorougly humiliating him and rewarded me with his mace, i gotta level blunt.
Some day i will report back to Caius, also my speechcraft is so huge that i can rizz up any vendor to full for cheaper prices, bitch was at like 45 relations, im just that cool
I really appreciate the progression, going from a crackhead in seyda neen to the top dog and people going from being cutthroat assholes to the biggest homies in the world. Caius and Tribunal here i go, i will clap that Almalexussy.
Fuck's sake Zaric, I know you were an huge autist but I didn't think you're start acting like this. The autist to tranny pipeline is willing to wait as long as it takes it seems...
Autistic nerds are weak faggots that are unbelievably succeptible to propaganda either because they want no conflict to not lose their own spaces, they are porn addicted themselves or some kind of trolls remorse (specially for the older guard) after being emotionally black mailed for saying nigger 20 years ago and atoning for it by becoming "hecking good people" aka: sucking the gock. He strikes me as a mix of the last 2 if i'd have to guess.
>get approached by a zesty looking wood elf wearing khajit ears
>Nerevar please help me, i dont feel like i belong to the right gender!
Options:
>Give him argonian hormones potion from the mages guild
or
>Give him Jarrin Root potion instead
<I can cast a spell instead
>Move your hands and pretend you casted a spell
or
>Use Destruction magic and obliterate his genitals off. Killing him (50 rep points)
Imagine...
I wanted to have fast travel services in my Shroom tower so i decided to give it a try to the command spell and move a teleport lady there.
She got hit a couple times by cliff racers, but nothing too threatening i also made use of Aryon's dominator to walk her from Vos all the way to uriviths if my mana wasnt enough, using a water walking spell would have been faster in retrospective but i was such a lazy faggot i didnt wanted to make more spells
Anyways i ran out of juice and decided that we both should rest in this cave until the dominator is full via sleeping and capturing golden saint souls for recharge
It was of course a sixth house den, one that i already cleared however zombies still prowled so i killed them, after they kept respawning i decided to leave her outside since it was safer than getting a random frostball from an ascended sleeper
"babe pack your things we gotta go"
Anyways they were good fuel for the dominator and we restarted the journey, some toothless, ragged, iliterate miscreants tried to mug us but they were no match for my stupidly overpowered helmet
I think she likes my mushroom bros
And now this will be her new house, forever, she actually looks kinda cool in here.
Unique weapons being outclassed by the equivalent of a pipe gun but legendary is so gay man. Even Skyrim had that problem but it was wasn't legendary loot but rather heavily gimped versions of those unique weapons because you happened to have been too low a level to get the best version of it. Nothing feels better than putting off the cool stuff because your reward will be worse because you dared complete it too soon.
What they should do is just make it so higher level enemies have tempered items before they reach the next weapon tier. And then make the unique weapons the actually strong at any point of the game.
You just know bethesda learned literally nothing from their past experiences except the bad things and not only will the legendary system be in TES6 (if it ever happens) but it will far more invasive than it ever was in fallout/dorkfield. Speaking of, expect the armor loot being randomized like in SF rather than being part of the NPC's invetory like in the previous titles.
