🗑️ Trashfire The Dick Masterson Simp Conspiracy - Dick Masterson & Co cover up of his "Simping"

  • 🏰 The Fediverse is up. If you know, you know.
  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account

Who is the third man?

  • tonka

    Votes: 107 15.6%

  • Mister Metokur

    Votes: 126 18.3%

  • Warski

    Votes: 73 10.6%

  • ur mom?

    Votes: 151 21.9%

  • Dear Leader

    Votes: 178 25.9%

  • f-slurs

    Votes: 212 30.8%

  • kraut

    Votes: 179 26.0%
  • Total voters
    688
Status
Not open for further replies.
There needs to be some sort of autistic celebration for when this thread exceeds Maddox's in length. Dick should feel some strange form of accomplishment that the combined amount of discussion about him on KF has exceeded all discussion about Maddox within a weekend.
 
Who are our heroes?

PPP (アシュトン Ashuton)

PPP made his big splash on the stream.me days. He cut his teeth speaking truth to Guntish power, he did not know that he was fighting an entire organisation he was merely trying to bring Ethan Ralph to justice. His cause was just and his intentions pure however it was not to be. Ralph and his enforcer-janitors Gator and Flamenco proceeded to dox him, harass his family and it caused him to be ex-communicated by his church. This caused PPP to disappear for an indefinite period of time to gather his strength and seek allies who would help him bring Ethan Ralph to justice.

The death blow dealt by Ethan Ralph and his enforcer-janitors may have killed a normal man, but PPP is not a normal man. He sought solace in the bible, studied it's many verses, parables and prayed daily. Not only was he going to exact revenge on Ethan Ralph, he was doing the work of God.

Godwinson (ゴドウィンソン Godou~inson)

Godwinson is a shadowy monk like figure who exists on the periphery of IBS, /cow/, Kiwifarms and /pol/. He is famous for being the first one to codify the core canon of Esoteric Jahansism, A core theological scholar and historical figure when discussing Alexander Gordon Jahans. Godwinson, similar to PPP has a passion for justice and the truth. He single handedly exposed Sargon of Akkad (カール・ベンジャミン Kāru benjamin) by going to his real life event and recording. He famously recorded Sargon walking around the block twice before going into his event because not enough people were there yet, not only did this show us how cringey Sargon really is, the video showed Sargon being very short and thus confirmed suspicions that was a manlet.

Godwinson expertly controls whoever he targets almost as if he is a matador. He flaps his red cape and his opponent attacks, except they never hit him, they continue until they hurt themselves.

Third man (三人 San'nin)

Little is known about the mysterious third man. However it is speculated that he is an operative buried deep within the Dick Masterson Simpspiracy having access to DM's, recorded discord conversations, emails and perhaps even admin level permissions on New Project 2.

For a moment it was speculated that Leo Pirate (レオパイレーツ Reopairētsu) was the third man but this was disconfirmed by both Godwinson and PPP. Later on it was revealed that Leo Pirate was actually a selfish coward who, instead of staying silent during PPP's sermon to Mister Metokur interjected and brought up the 6 year old Hashtag #gamergate which was univerally seen as gay. He also tried to Gunt Guard his friend who had already become comprimised by Simspiracy, Toad Mckinley (ヒキガエルマッキンリー Hikigaerumakkinrī).

Ronnie Ralph (ロニー・ラルフ Ronī rarufu)

The father of Ethan Ralph who was so ashamed by the gluttonous, alcoholic, felonious, uninteresting and disgusting failure that his son had become was a falsely revealed third man by Godwinson. Ronnie Ralph is not the third man, however his name was thrown out by Godwinson as an act of power to show Ralph that our heroes are aware that he is still alive and that is death was faked in a fraudulent insurance claim scam.
 
New to the autism said:
They have been friends for a while you should check out the Golden Gunt awards if Ralph/Dick capos didnt get it erased forever.
Click to expand...
Null should be ashamed he didn't watch that. Britney Venti winning the award for based black man isn't even in the top 10 highlights from that video
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top Bottom