The Cole Smithey Thread

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Yesterday I stumbled across Cole’s name when I was looking for something on the Wikipedia article about Das Boot. In there they have Coke quoted as saying:

Critic Cole Smithey from ColeSmithey.com called the film "a religious experience"
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I like the movie but Jesus that’s a stupid quote. I’m absolutely positive he put that in the article himself. I just wondered what his Wikipedia account name was. He’d probably tried to insert himself in hundreds of movie articles in the reception section.
 
Muscle Bra said:
Keep scrolling down the page...

"Bossa Nova arrived via a small clique of college friends whose socialist political views transmogrified through love songs filled with complex melodic and harmonic lines juxtaposed against a clave rhythm (think Bo Didley) and simple bass lines."
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You can almost hear the fedora tipping in the background.

niggers said:
tbf, his most notable accomplishment is being half-brother to the pinnacle of white trash, he's probably got some sort of complex about it.
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That's essentially the plot to Keeping Up Appearances, albeit far more autistic.
 
Muscle Bra said:
transmogrified
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Seems like having no idea what words mean is a Weston trait.

Cole's playing isn't as bad as I expected it would be, but it's not anything notable. Maybe he's realised there's no money in being another balding white dude with a film podcast so now he's trying to sell himself to the wine bar crowd.
 
MirnaMinkoff said:
Yesterday I stumbled across Cole’s name when I was looking for something on the Wikipedia article about Das Boot. In there they have Coke quoted as saying:



I like the movie but Jesus that’s a stupid quote. I’m absolutely positive he put that in the article himself. I just wondered what his Wikipedia account name was. He’d probably tried to insert himself in hundreds of movie articles in the reception section.
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Coincidentally he's cited in the Pink Flamingos entry to back up the assertion that the film is "an important precursor of punk culture."
 
LOL... so horrible but so true. Cole should start killing kittens and trooning it up if he wants to beat chris.

AlmightyMagichan said:
It really doesn't matter what Cole does, Chris will make more money and get more attention for drawing something that's on the level of a 10 year old.
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praktica said:
Coincidentally he's cited in the Pink Flamingos entry to back up the assertion that the film is "an important precursor of punk culture."
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God Cole makes me roll my eyes so hard.
Waters actually cast Stiv Bator from the Dead Boys in Polyester, but would tell you would tell you Little Richard was the original punk rocker.

I guess Cole spending hours self-inserting his inane opinions and quotes on Wikipedia articles about great films makes him feel important. Sad little man.
 
Muscle Bra said:
This guy can't do anything without bringing his politics into play, can he?
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This is a strange and eccentric description of bossa nova, which was often criticized for being popular among the upper classes and essentially being bourgeois.
 
WorldsSmartestManRonOTool said:
Don't people typically hire musicians for events to play music that their guests enjoy and are familiar with? Who does this moron think is going to hire him for their party and want to hear 'Auga de Beber' or whatever?
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Huemonkeys that went to Disney World and never came back.
On a serious note, those musics have a chill comfy vibe to it. If I had a bar I would put some on the playlist.
 
AnOminous said:
This is a strange and eccentric description of bossa nova, which was often criticized for being popular among the upper classes and essentially being bourgeois.
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It just screams "I am an arsehole". Not a good thing when trying to sell yourself. He could have just copied the Wikipedia entry and change a few things around, because that description tells you nothing.
 
Slimy Time said:
It just screams "I am an arsehole". Not a good thing when trying to sell yourself. He could have just copied the Wikipedia entry and change a few things around, because that description tells you nothing.
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The really funny thing is that there was absolutely no need for him to put the definition/description of bossa nova on his website. If you knew what it was and were looking for a musician, you likely googled "bossa nova musician NYC" or something similar and, if you had no idea what it was, you sure as hell wouldn't hire someone to play it at your next party.
 
Muscle Bra said:
If you knew what it was and were looking for a musician, you likely googled "bossa nova musician NYC" or something similar and, if you had no idea what it was, you sure as hell wouldn't hire someone to play it at your next party.
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And even if you might otherwise have considered it, you certainly wouldn't if all you knew about it was Cole's utterly douchey description of it. He comes across as a douchebag even just describing a kind of music he likes, and makes that kind of music sound as douchey as he is.
 
Muscle Bra said:
The really funny thing is that there was absolutely no need for him to put the definition/description of bossa nova on his website. If you knew what it was and were looking for a musician, you likely googled "bossa nova musician NYC" or something similar and, if you had no idea what it was, you sure as hell wouldn't hire someone to play it at your next party.
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Logic is secondary to making sure everyone knows how smart Cole is.
 
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