The Cole Smithey Thread

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Gothicserpent said:
"In light of America’s epidemic of mass shootings, “22 Jump Street’s” cavalier attitude to throwaway gun violence calls attention to itself. Hollywood is currently doing everything wrong. How long will it be before they start doing something right?"

What.
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Because when I think of movies that are serious looks at gun violence I think of a movie starring Jonah Hill based on an 80's TV show. Just like how The Flying Guillotine is an in depth look at Ancient China, 300 is an realistic look at ancient Rome and Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is a serious biography.
 
Jewelsmakerguy said:
I really hope Coleslaw was mis-diagnosed. 'Cause only someone with his mental problem would like "Freddy Got Fingered".
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Apparently that movie has a big cult following not too unlike the cult following for The Room.
I tried watching Freddy Got Fingered online but when the link stopped buffering I tapped out. I think it's not so much about liking it, but about getting some sense of enjoyment from how inept and bad it is.

Nostalgia Chick and Oancitizen did a very good "review" of the movie and I really suggest it because it's both a better review than anything Cole can shit out and it's pretty funny.

"Not so bad it's good, so bad it's art." ~N. Chick
 
Dr.Research said:
Apparently that movie has a big cult following not too unlike the cult following for The Room.
I tried watching Freddy Got Fingered online but when the link stopped buffering I tapped out. I think it's not so much about liking it, but about getting some sense of enjoyment from how inept and bad it is.

Nostalgia Chick and Oancitizen did a very good "review" of the movie and I really suggest it because it's both a better review than anything Cole can shit out and it's pretty funny.

"Not so bad it's good, so bad it's art." ~N. Chick
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IT'S TOO NORMAL TO BE DADA! AND IT'S TOO SHIT TO BE ANYTHING ELSE!!
 
So I took a look at Cole's latest posts in the twitter feed and his posts are remarkably CWC-like. Unfunny and unexplained sayings and jokes, spouts of rage, retweets and links to pointless things, also some SJW non-sense.
 
Dr.Research said:
Apparently that movie has a big cult following not too unlike the cult following for The Room.
I tried watching Freddy Got Fingered online but when the link stopped buffering I tapped out. I think it's not so much about liking it, but about getting some sense of enjoyment from how inept and bad it is.

Nostalgia Chick and Oancitizen did a very good "review" of the movie and I really suggest it because it's both a better review than anything Cole can shit out and it's pretty funny.

"Not so bad it's good, so bad it's art." ~N. Chick
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That may be, but to say that it's better than an actual classic (Breakfast at Tiffany's in this case)? That alone brings up the question of "Is he really just misdiagnosed?"
 
Steve Mayers said:
An interview I found with Cole talking about his career, and what lead him to become a film critic. Once again he's so smug, and pretentious as always.
http://cheunderground.com/blog/?p=10309
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Chit left a comment on it of January last year, and Cole replied a few days ago.

Artard said:
This. I'd love to read the context for this. It sounds like Roger Ebert boxed Cole's ears for submitting a lazy and narrow-minded critique of a film -- and Cole's only response is "LOL U THINK MY TAGLINE IS SRS? XD"

That's a pretty stunning form of myopia -- right up there with



You know, if the dean of my industry said something like this to me... I would probably keep on too. But I would at least ask myself what it is that made him say that, and ask a few hard questions of myself. Ebert didn't have a problem with the fucking slogan you idiot.
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Ebert was a lot more cordial with him than he needed to be. The problem is that Cole isn't really published professionally anywhere, as far as I can tell, yet somehow he can screw up Rotten Tomatoes's critics' ratings like he did with Toy Story 3. (I haven't seen Toy Story 3 or Goodbye Solo, and sometimes Ebert was way off in his reviews, but honestly Cole's "dialogue" with him, you know, critic-to-critic
:roll:
, was probably the highlight of his career if you look at it objectively.)
 
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Gothicserpent said:
"In light of America’s epidemic of mass shootings, “22 Jump Street’s” cavalier attitude to throwaway gun violence calls attention to itself. Hollywood is currently doing everything wrong. How long will it be before they start doing something right?"

What.
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Until I reached the final word of your post, I assumed you were writing this yourself in parody of Cole's style.
 
Cole's review of Life Itself, the documentary on Ebert's life, is pretty hilarious. There's an awful lot of passive-aggressive slating going on. It can be boiled down to:
1. Roger Ebert wasn't as good as everyone says he was.
2. He should have stopped writing long before he did.
3. What he did achieve was pointless and stupid and no one cares about Pullitzer prizes anyway.
4. He was a bit of a bastard sometimes. Did you know that he was an alcoholic who used to visit prostitutes? I'm not judging him, but just sayin'.
5. I mean, I do still respect him. I just feel that it's my duty as a journalist to give you a balanced view about the hooker-using, alcoholic, underling-bullying, credit-stealing, overrated, beloved critic.
6. BAWWWWWWWW
 
Tragi-Chan said:
Cole's review of Life Itself, the documentary on Ebert's life, is pretty hilarious. There's an awful lot of passive-aggressive slating going on. It can be boiled down to:
1. Roger Ebert wasn't as good as everyone says he was.
2. He should have stopped writing long before he did.
3. What he did achieve was pointless and stupid and no one cares about Pullitzer prizes anyway.
4. He was a bit of a bastard sometimes. Did you know that he was an alcoholic who used to visit prostitutes? I'm not judging him, but just sayin'.
5. I mean, I do still respect him. I just feel that it's my duty as a journalist to give you a balanced view about the hooker-using, alcoholic, underling-bullying, credit-stealing, overrated, beloved critic.
6. BAWWWWWWWW
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It really is uncanny at how many fucking similarities Cole shares with Chris. He thinks he's so smart and has this huge audience, but the only people that pay any attention to him are trolls. He doesn't work a real job and yet has this smug attitude that reeks of a superiority complex. He shits on his brother online, and yet is bested by him. Trolls call all the time and yell JULAY and the only way he can boost his feelings about himself is to shit on those that do a better job than him. Hell, at this point, I've forgotten if it's Chris or Cole I'm talking about.
 
Captain Cid said:
It really is uncanny at how many fucking similarities Cole shares with Chris. He thinks he's so smart and has this huge audience, but the only people that pay any attention to him are trolls. He doesn't work a real job and yet has this smug attitude that reeks of a superiority complex. He shits on his brother online, and yet is bested by him. Trolls call all the time and yell JULAY and the only way he can boost his feelings about himself is to shit on those that do a better job than him. Hell, at this point, I've forgotten if it's Chris or Cole I'm talking about.
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Almost makes you wonder if Cole has a little autist in him.
 
Tragi-Chan said:
Cole's review of Life Itself, the documentary on Ebert's life, is pretty hilarious. There's an awful lot of passive-aggressive slating going on. It can be boiled down to:
1. Roger Ebert wasn't as good as everyone says he was.
2. He should have stopped writing long before he did.
3. What he did achieve was pointless and stupid and no one cares about Pullitzer prizes anyway.
4. He was a bit of a bastard sometimes. Did you know that he was an alcoholic who used to visit prostitutes? I'm not judging him, but just sayin'.
5. I mean, I do still respect him. I just feel that it's my duty as a journalist to give you a balanced view about the hooker-using, alcoholic, underling-bullying, credit-stealing, overrated, beloved critic.
6. BAWWWWWWWW
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Obviously he's in league with that no-good Adam Stackhouse!!
 
DrChristianTroy said:
I do love that the people I talk to through my blog have seen more and write reviews for movies he didn't see. His inability to step his game up is hilarious.
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So I finally got around to seeing Frozen, I won't bore you with my review of the movie itself. I looked at Cole's web page and wouldn't ya know it, Frozen is absent from his list of reviews. As a professional movie reviewer, you'd think when a movie gets as much attention as Frozen did, you could take an hour to write up something. Fans want to know what you think of popular movies.
Also, the dark part of me was disappointed that I didn't get to read about the symbolism that clearly went over my head.
 
The twisted motherfucker in me needs to know more about the "bizarre scenarios" Barb and Jerry inflicted on young Cole, and whether this led to his uncanny ability to find a sinister agenda in everything he watches.
 
Pikonic said:
So I finally got around to seeing Frozen, I won't bore you with my review of the movie itself. I looked at Cole's web page and wouldn't ya know it, Frozen is absent from his list of reviews. As a professional movie reviewer, you'd think when a movie gets as much attention as Frozen did, you could take an hour to write up something. Fans want to know what you think of popular movies.
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Absolutely. I write about genre flicks but you can be sure I cover major movies like Captain America, Godzilla and whatever the big genre hits are. It's an easy and simple way to drum up blog views. I want to say it's smart but honestly it's just not being a dumb-dumb.
 
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