The Cole Smithey Thread

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He's smarter and more successful, but Cole is every ounce the egotistical fuckwit his brother is. I have a lot of tolerance for people, but one thing I loathe is unwarranted self-importance. He pretends like he's the lone genius in a sea of buffoons, and when someone calls him out on his shit he says "Lol, just trollin' bro, you're stupid enough to take a bait."

I've read a few of his reviews, and he always seems to take a stand he's certain others will follow and then is left with his pants down looking like a retard. He pulled an Ebert and refused to rate Wolf of Wall Street, calling it nothing worth seeing. Maybe he gives contrary reviews on super popular movies just to generate criticism and get his name out there (shit, besides Chris it's the only reason anyone knows who he is), but after like five years does he not realize it doesn't work? Maybe because he just uses stupid buzz words instead of exploring legitimate critiques in an intelligent and non-douchy manner.
 
Well, we ARE talking about someone who thinks that "Freddie Got Fingered" is a better movie than "Breakfast at Tiffanys".
 
Bridechu said:
He's smarter and more successful, but Cole is every ounce the egotistical fuckwit his brother is. I have a lot of tolerance for people, but one thing I loathe is unwarranted self-importance. He pretends like he's the lone genius in a sea of buffoons, and when someone calls him out on his shit he says "Lol, just trollin' bro, you're stupid enough to take a bait."

I've read a few of his reviews, and he always seems to take a stand he's certain others will follow and then is left with his pants down looking like a exceptional individual. He pulled an Ebert and refused to rate Wolf of Wall Street, calling it nothing worth seeing. Maybe he gives contrary reviews on super popular movies just to generate criticism and get his name out there (shit, besides Chris it's the only reason anyone knows who he is), but after like five years does he not realize it doesn't work? Maybe because he just uses stupid buzz words instead of exploring legitimate critiques in an intelligent and non-douchy manner.
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Within two paragraphs of reading one of Cole's reviews, I was certain he was punching above his weight.

I don't even think he likes movies to be honest.

Roger Ebert liked to break down classic movies into a scene-by-scene analysis at Ebertfest -- yet he wrote for the common man. You didn't need to know anything about Kieslowski to read an Ebert overview of Kieslowski's life work and gain an appreciation of Kieslowski. And Ebert.

Kieslowski is my favorite director. He appeals, in this country at least, to people who call these things "films" rather than "movies". Yet I mostly found out about Kieslowski from Ebert, printed in a daily newspaper. Read something like this, or something like this (which I've actually read multiple times, not because it's about a director I like, but because it's a great piece of writing on its own), and compare it to the entirety of what Cole has written in his life. One of them genuinely likes movies and wants to communicate that to you. The other is Chris' brother.
 
Mrs Paul said:
Well, we ARE talking about someone who thinks that "Freddie Got Fingered" is a better movie than "Breakfast at Tiffanys".
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And I said what about Freddy Got Fingered?
She said I think I remember the film
And as I recall I think, we both fucking hated it
And I said well that's, the one thing we've got

But yeah, I disagreed on Ebert on some films (particularly Death to Smoochy), but I always saw where he was coming from, and he didn't let personal opinion sway his decision. I believe he did a review for one of the Jackass films along the line of "I'm not going to compare this film to Citizen Kane and then call it terrible. People don't go to Jackass to see Citizen Kane, they go to it to see guys kick each other in the nuts, and I'll judge it by how it delivers that."
 
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Ebert was always happy to enter into an actual dialog with another critic or with fans. He could discuss film and let his criticisms be challenged. Cole can't. Show Cole how his reviews are weak and his facts are wrong, and he'll probably ignore you. If he doesn't, he'll say something to the effect of "LULz, you don't get how ironic I am."

I can't give any respect to someone who won't open their work up for peer analysis. That, more than anything else, is what makes Cole a hack and a fraud.
 
Bridechu said:
And I said what about Freddy Got Fingered?
She said I think I remember the film
And as I recall I think, we both fucking hated it
And I said well that's, the one thing we've got

But yeah, I disagreed on Ebert on some films (particularly Death to Smoochy), but I always saw where he was coming from, and he didn't let personal opinion sway his decision. I believe he did a review for one of the Jackass films along the line of "I'm not going to compare this film to Citizen Kane and then call it terrible. People don't go to Jackass to see Citizen Kane, they go to it to see guys kick each other in the nuts, and I'll judge it by how it delivers that."
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And you're my personal hero for dropping some Deep Blue Something science.
 
Something that just hit me, he like never reviews foreign movies. Not even ones that got US releases like Hero or House of Flying Daggers. Surely those are artsy enough.

Needs to step his game up.
 
DrChristianTroy said:
Something that just hit me, he like never reviews foreign movies. Not even ones that got US releases like Hero or House of Flying Daggers. Surely those are artsy enough.

Needs to step his game up.
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They probably didn't have long enough trailers.

Absinthe said:
Do you think it's because his "namecheck foreign auteurs who I've Googled but whose work I've never seen" powers won't work in arthouseland?
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It's more like the post-Crouching Tiger boom of western-oriented cinematography-obsessed kung fu movies weren't exactly on the radar of most arthouse critics. Nobody told him what to think about those movies, so how is he expected to review them?

Interestingly enough, in the Chinese speaking world, Crouching Tiger is pretty unpopular for being "too Hollywood" because Li Mu Bai ends up valuing his personal relationship over enlightenment (among other things). Most western audiences don't even see it though.
 
"In light of America’s epidemic of mass shootings, “22 Jump Street’s” cavalier attitude to throwaway gun violence calls attention to itself. Hollywood is currently doing everything wrong. How long will it be before they start doing something right?"

What.
 
Gothicserpent said:
"In light of America’s epidemic of mass shootings, “22 Jump Street’s” cavalier attitude to throwaway gun violence calls attention to itself. Hollywood is currently doing everything wrong. How long will it be before they start doing something right?"

What.
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It must be a Weston trait to completely disregard the bigger picture and instead obsess over imaginary details.
 
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