The Cole Smithey Thread

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King Kiwi said:
Okay so Cole is fully aware of what Chris did.

Just like his aunt and uncle and possibly other extended family know.

It says a lot about Chris that no family is willing to come forth and have anything to do with his infamy. I mean you would think someone in the Chandler family would want their say but there's no one.
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This should be a red flag for the few white knights that Chris has left. Even his family -- the people who are closest to him -- want nothing to do with him, refuse to help him, and see him as a lost cause. Why on earth would some rando want to get involved?

It reminds me a bit of a discussion I had about the street homeless. He said that there's no reason to feel bad for the bums on the street -- just think about all of the steps it takes for them to get there...
  • What would you do if you were to lose your job?
    • Well, you'd get a new one.
  • But what would you do if it took a long time to find a new job?
    • Well, you'd live off of emergency savings for a bit.
  • And what would happen if it took so long that you ran out of savings? Would you immediately go live under a bridge?
    • Well, no; you'd probably stay with family or friends for a bit until you get back on your feet.
So when you start peeling back the onion, you realize that these people are unemployable with no ability to plan and save, and most significantly, are so despicable that their own family and friends would rather see them live on the streets than take them in. That says a lot about their character.

Chris is the same. He's so disgusting that even his family doesn't want to be near him. That really says something about Caden and Flutter's character.
 
Acoustic Virgin said:
This should be a red flag for the few white knights that Chris has left. Even his family -- the people who are closest to him -- want nothing to do with him, refuse to help him, and see him as a lost cause. Why on earth would some rando want to get involved?

It reminds me a bit of a discussion I had about the street homeless. He said that there's no reason to feel bad for the bums on the street -- just think about all of the steps it takes for them to get there...
  • What would you do if you were to lose your job?
    • Well, you'd get a new one.
  • But what would you do if it took a long time to find a new job?
    • Well, you'd live off of emergency savings for a bit.
  • And what would happen if it took so long that you ran out of savings? Would you immediately go live under a bridge?
    • Well, no; you'd probably stay with family or friends for a bit until you get back on your feet.
So when you start peeling back the onion, you realize that these people are unemployable with no ability to plan and save, and most significantly, are so despicable that their own family and friends would rather see them live on the streets than take them in. That says a lot about their character.

Chris is the same. He's so disgusting that even his family doesn't want to be near him. That really says something about Caden and Flutter's character.
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Living on the street is nothing to joke about. You never know what someone's situation is and I don't expect a buffoon like Chris to understand.

He has his enablers and weens to thank for keeping him off the streets, because a) he makes them money b) they get a boner over him c) they're a fan of old Christory but of course Chris doesn't know how to be thankful.

Null was entirely correct in trying to get Chris to sleep in his van that night. One of the only times I've ever wanted to scream at Chris is when he insisted that he needed safety and comfort right away.

The only time I've ever gotten truly angry at Chris is over this whole incest fiasco and the way he treated his mother but ESPECIALLY Null.

I can't even quite say the he deserves to be on the streets for what he did, because the streets are hard and again nothing to joke over.

But he did deserve to live in his van. He did not deserve safety and comfort for what he did to Barbara and this is one of the rare instances where I'm genuinely angry in Christory. Still am.

Actually the last time I was angry it was when they pulled some stunt where they put Barbara out in the street and had her talk about Chris's birthday earlier this year. Like what the actual fuck.
 
King Kiwi said:
The only time I've ever gotten truly angry at Chris is over this whole incest fiasco and the way he treated his mother but ESPECIALLY Null.
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The thing that made me truly despise Chris was the way he responded to Null after the house fire destroyed everything. Here you have someone going through the effort of getting you all this stuff you need, specifically because they know what it's like to lose everything in a fire, asking nothing in return and your first response is to call them dumb because you're too retarded to understand how a money order works. It made me realize that he is literally incapable of expressing gratitude. The notion that someone might be making sacrifices in order to support him simply doesn't cross his mind.
 
Merton J. Dingle said:
He definitely heard about it, but never said anything about it. Someone on Twitter replied to what was his last post at the time (a video of him playing the guitar) with a remark along the lines of "yo, your sister is piping your mother" and he deleted the tweet.
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The last video cole posted ever is actually almost ironic.
It’s about some weird jealous mom of her son’s girlfriend in a movie and Cole gets uncomfortable over it. He says he would never introduce his mom to his girlfriend.
The last words he utters in the video were
“Well mom has the hots for Sonny” as in her son.
This is the last video he’s posted as far as I can tell. It’s really odd his basically last comment is that.
 
If he's aware of the mom fucking I'd say there's no way he doesn't realize what he's doing there
 
King Kiwi said:
Okay so Cole is fully aware of what Chris did.

Just like his aunt and uncle and possibly other extended family know.

It says a lot about Chris that no family is willing to come forth and have anything to do with his infamy. I mean you would think someone in the Chandler family would want their say but there's no one.
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Probably for the best to be quite honest there are some people in my family who we just don’t talk to anymore and they’ve done way less heinous stuff than Chris
 
JackoVerde said:


Apparently someone on Reddit did some digging and Cole smithed is a father. Can someone verify this.

Also someone has trolled Cole on a review of his walking tour thing and he responded in a very Chris Chan way. First time he’s ever seemingly responded to a troll.
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Ohh, Chris is a legit uncle is he?

I wonder what the little gumdrop's name is.
 
JackoVerde said:
He already was an uncle, his other half brother David had a daughter.
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Fuggo, wasn't she?

It's always the half-sisters or the half-nieces or something.

"Oh, John and Rob, I'm so glad to hear that you finally met your half-sister! Did you have a picture of...?

Oh God she's so beautiful!"

Of course I think David's daughter grew into a successful beauty, so at least in her case I think it was more of a ugly ducking growing into a lovely swan.

Bob deserves that at least, to know that one part of his lineage isn't a complete trash fire.
 
Optimus Prime said:
I think all his bio kids other than Chris actually ended up becoming functional members of society.
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True, but Bob never seemed like a guy who couldn't get around if he wanted to when he was younger.

Blarmed&Dangerous said:
I mean, the source is some redditor saying the equivalent of "trust me, my uncle works at Nintendo Cole Smithey's ballsack."
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That's why a sense of humor is 9/10th of the law.
 
King Kiwi said:
True, but Bob never seemed like a guy who couldn't get around if he wanted to when he was younger.
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Bob is such an odd case study, but that might be because we have such limited viewpoints on who he actually was as a person, and ALL of them are unreliable other than the hard facts like his military service.
 
Optimus Prime said:
Bob is such an odd case study, but that might be because we have such limited viewpoints on who he actually was as a person, and ALL of them are unreliable other than the hard facts like his military service.
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I mean all of his kids are successful just in different ways.

And then there's Barb and her offspring.
 
King Kiwi said:
I mean all of his kids are successful just in different ways.

And then there's Barb and her offspring.
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I'm taking a wild guess that Bob's ex, Patricia, was not bar fly trying to make it rich. She was also 8 years younger then bob, seems to me he liked his women a bit younger. So she probably was pretty put together while bob might of been a pack rat before and impulsive.

They were together for att last 20 years then separated for 1 more. Maybe it's so he doesn't have to pay the youngest child support? That's when they divorced and then bob met Barb at a bar the same year.

I like bob because he had good intentions but it seems he was bolstering himself as greater than he actually was. Compound with that he never took chris to therapy or get help, and it all makes sense to me. I'm starting to think Bob was a mess as well. Not as bad as barb but enough to ensure Chris was going to be fucked, and with barb eventually.

Edit:spelling

Edit 2: if I may hypothesize, cole probably saw through Bob's bolstered ego was annoyed by it. Or Cole was not raised like his other children were.

Sorry, this got real intresting for me.
 
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D is for Stupid said:
I like bob because he had good intentions but it seems he was bolstering himself as greater than he actually was. Compound with that he never took chris to therapy or get help, and it all makes sense to me.
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I think he was afraid Chris would get institutionalized as the barely functional retard he is. He was wrong but it isn't like that wasn't a possibility. He did a good job playing within the system to get Chris his :tugboat: though I wonder how he would have viewed the results of his decisions, with Chris raping his own mom nearly without consequences and then ending up enslaved to an only slightly less retarded retard (Gayden).
 
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