The Cole Smithey Thread

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I still lean he's smart enough to not poke the bear or get mixed up in this.

Cole's unlikely to fire the first shot, but it's entirely believable that if Chris made public statements which Cole found disagreeable then he might respond publicly.

My suspicion, however, is increasingly that the Cole Smithey account was set up by a ween at some point in the past few months and was dormant until used recently. The one reason why this seems possible is that of all the social media icons on Cole's website, Bluesky isn't amongst them and as far as can be reasonably made out the term (or its derivatives) doesn't appear in any page content. If he was on Bluesky, he'd be promoting it.

Cole Smithey - The Smartest Film Critic in the World - www.colesmithey.com.png
 
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Was browsing the forum list and was surprised to see Cole Smithey’s name again.

I agree with Sigue above, I think the only connection that Cole has to Chris at this point is Barb. Chris can say whatever he wants, and it will just be the ramblings of a mentally incompetent man. He never really knew Chris.

But he harbors great resentment towards his mother Barb. That’s probably the only thing that will make him break his vow of silence regarding the Chandler clan; the day something finally happens with Barb. But as we know, nothing ever happens.
 
Was browsing the forum list and was surprised to see Cole Smithey’s name again.

I agree with Sigue above, I think the only connection that Cole has to Chris at this point is Barb. Chris can say whatever he wants, and it will just be the ramblings of a mentally incompetent man. He never really knew Chris.

But he harbors great resentment towards his mother Barb. That’s probably the only thing that will make him break his vow of silence regarding the Chandler clan; the day something finally happens with Barb. But as we know, nothing ever happens.
If something were to actually happen in Christory I'd take it as a sign of the end times.
 
True, Cole might not be outraged on Barb's behalf, but he can still be appalled by the incest. Being related to both participants most likely makes it worse.
Fuck, I would be pissed too if I had an autist manchild brother that porked my mom, I think if anybody were in that scenario they would throw a lil tard rage here and there
3rd idea and long shot.

Cole had a squatted account, or forgot/locked out. Ween got in an started drama with Chris because what else would you do with Cole's account?

I still lean he's smart enough to not poke the bear or get mixed up in this.
That could be a possibility, Chris had a lot of his accounts hacked and even celebrities or members of the government have had their accounts hacked at least once or twice.

Maybe Cole joined Bluesky, thought the app was a piece of shit, dipped and then some loser hacked his account and took over?
Cole's unlikely to fire the first shot, but it's entirely believable that if Chris made public statements which Cole found disagreeable then he might respond publicly.

My suspicion, however, is increasingly that the Cole Smithey account was set up by a ween at some point in the past few months and was dormant until used recently. The one reason why this seems possible is that of all the social media icons on Cole's website, Bluesky isn't amongst them and as far as can be reasonably made out the term (or its derivatives) doesn't appear in any page content. If he was on Bluesky, he'd be promoting it.
That’s true and he would be active too.

The only things that makes think it possibly could be him is the fact he turned off his DMs, his profile picture hasn’t been used anywhere else and the way they are reacting as well (it’s almost as if they are were actually arguing with Chris in genuineness).
Probably not Cole, but if it is, you're a little late bro.
I wouldn’t exactly say I am "late" since nobody else on here has mentioned the account and I only shared Chris’s old posts so that everyone could understand what the Cole account was responding to, but I don’t 100% believe it’s actually Cole, I did say myself in my original post that it could be a troll messing with Chris.

Troll or not, it’s still pretty funny that even today Chris is dumb enough to pick fights with a few dummy accounts and still not learn anything from his past experiences.
Was browsing the forum list and was surprised to see Cole Smithey’s name again.

I agree with Sigue above, I think the only connection that Cole has to Chris at this point is Barb. Chris can say whatever he wants, and it will just be the ramblings of a mentally incompetent man. He never really knew Chris.

But he harbors great resentment towards his mother Barb. That’s probably the only thing that will make him break his vow of silence regarding the Chandler clan; the day something finally happens with Barb. But as we know, nothing ever happens.
Chris will never ever take full accountability for his actions, he never has done.

Even when Chris claims to have shown some remorse, guilt, pitty or shame, it was always never genuine.

Like, for instance, back whenever Chris had a fight or a bad breakup with one of his fake troll gal-pals or sweethearts, he would put on fake tears and give puppy dog eyes at the camera then a few or a day later, he would be back to bragging about Sonichu.

Maybe Cole this one rare time finally snapped, wanted to give his two cents on the matter and just leave it at that?

I guess this is one of those cases where we will never truly know, even today, we still don’t know if Flutter genuinely cares about Chris or has some secret trolling plans, there are a few accounts on here of some Christorical Figures from the Classic Era that still haven’t been verified yet.

The mystery continues!
If something were to actually happen in Christory I'd take it as a sign of the end times.
Given how Chris’s recent updates are always boring and how he’s so resilient to giving us new content or dropping hints about Flutter, it’s more than likely that his story is coming to an end.

Chris’s sub forum will probably end up being dumped in the Spergatory section and he’ll be replaced by another popular lolcow.
 
Cole has been very smart about never directly involving himself with Chris' shit. If this were real (it's not lol) it would be the first time Cole ever publicly acknowledged Chris.

It's weenery, guys, and not even particularly good weenery.
 
I'm leaning on a troll. Like this fucker cares an iota about whatever happened to Barb lmao I bet he broke into a riverdance the moment he heard the news.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down there, Irishman!

As much Cole hates Barb and there’s a possibility that this account could be fake, he still cares about her to some degree and she is still his mother, too.

Nobody deserves to be raped by Chris, even if they have a shitty personality.
 
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down there, Irishman!

As much Cole hates Barb and there’s a possibility that this account could be fake, he still cares about her to some degree and she is still his mother, too.

Nobody deserves to be raped by Chris, even if they have a shitty personality.
I do want to know Cole's thoughts on what happened to his mom
 
I don’t know if anybody has already shared this or not, but
View attachment 6792776
View attachment 6792777

I am sure it’s just another ween trying to mess with Chris since there is a lot of troll accounts related to Chris lore on Bluesky, but it wouldn’t surprise if Cole did snap back at him for what he did to Barb.

Sadly, I struggled to find which post Cole was replying to, I looked through all of Chris’s posts and couldn’t find anything.

Cole’s Bluesky
Archived link

Update: The photo in profile picture does not appear on any other website featuring Cole, I also checked his Facebook and X account and it looks like this might be a legit account, but we still need verification, there is still a chance it could be a ween so I am not going to give my hopes up just yet.
There’s no way this is Cole. It sounds more like Hirtes than anything, just some generic ween antagonizing Chris. Moving to Bluesky is a virtue-signal for people who were obsessed with Twitter, unlike Cole who never uses Twitter and thus wouldn’t care. If this is anyone, it’s Hirtes.

To Liquid Cole: Your days are numbered. Trust and believe that I have dispatched a squad of Aryan super soldiers to compromise you to a permanent end. PATRIOTS ARE IN CONTROL!
 
There’s no way this is Cole. It sounds more like Hirtes than anything, just some generic ween antagonizing Chris. Moving to Bluesky is a virtue-signal for people who were obsessed with Twitter, unlike Cole who never uses Twitter and thus wouldn’t care. If this is anyone, it’s Hirtes.

To Liquid Cole: Your days are numbered. Trust and believe that I have dispatched a squad of Aryan super soldiers to compromise you to a permanent end. PATRIOTS ARE IN CONTROL!
Actually, Cole does have a Twitter account, he just doesn’t posts that much on it.

But I do agree with you that it could troll.

If it’s a troll I don’t think it could be Michael Hirtes, he has already embarrassed himself enough times for this sort of thing and doesn’t he already have a thread on here?

Hirtes knows the backlash he would face if he impersonated Cole.

My bets are on Sockass since he’s still being pissy about not getting to butt fuck Chris.
 
I'm shocked nobody's mentioning the most obvious contradiction, which is that Cole is the most Reddit atheist man to have ever lived
 
I'm shocked nobody's mentioning the most obvious contradiction, which is that Cole is the most Reddit atheist man to have ever lived

It's pretty much implied by him being the perfect embodiment of the middle-aged, "FUCK YOU, MOM AND DAD!!!" wannabe socialist revolutionary who moved to <insert liberal paradise here> in order to get away from his upbringing and bring down The Man with his movie reviews.

Note that that's not to say that B0rb were in any way good parents; there's no doubt in my mind that they weren't. But he really is ticking all of the boxes for the stereotype that he slots right in to.
 
I'm leaning on a troll. Like this fucker cares an iota about whatever happened to Barb lmao I bet he broke into a riverdance the moment he heard the news.
Where do you think Chris and Cole learned their delinquency from?

Although for Cole it's mostly just hipster douchebaggery.

We may only know the tip of the iceberg when it comes to Barbara.

It sounds like the first man she married was a maniac of a stepfather to Cole and while Bob has his good points, he was very coddling to Chris, didn't seem on good terms with his eldest children and didn't even know he had a granddaughter until she was 8.

Bob was a very likable guy (on the surface) but even then Cole paints a different story. A lot of people are Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde so I'm not surprised but it is interesting.
 
There was clearly something very, very wrong in that family for Bob not to know about the existence of his own grandchild.
One possibility is that David may have in fact called Bob with the good news (which, even if they grew apart, is the normal thing to do unless their relationship was beyond fucked).

BUT, it may have been Barb who happened to take the call. Being the manipulative harpy that she is known to be, she feigned being super nice and very glad to hear it, told Bob wasn't at home right then, and promised to tell him ASAP.

And then she conveniently forgot. Oops! Now Bob's money and attention would be exclusively for her and their tardspawn, with David left to think Bob just didn't give a fuck and further stranding them.
 
One possibility is that David may have in fact called Bob with the good news (which, even if they grew apart, is the normal thing to do unless their relationship was beyond fucked).

BUT, it may have been Barb who happened to take the call. Being the manipulative harpy that she is known to be, she feigned being super nice and very glad to hear it, told Bob wasn't at home right then, and promised to tell him ASAP.

And then she conveniently forgot. Oops! Now Bob's money and attention would be exclusively for her and their tardspawn, with David left to think Bob just didn't give a fuck and further stranding them.
Y'know, I think harpies get a bad rep.

Who wouldn't want to be part bird and soar around shitting on people like Barb?

There must have been some sort of a estrangement between David and Bob but for whatever reason they decided to patch things up with Chris's eye appointment as an excuse.

That or David picked the weirdest time to give Chris and Bob the news. Maybe David just didn't care and mentioned it offhandedly.

Small hint into David and Bob's relationship.

Apparently Chris and Bob had to drive over and leave something for them but they didn't even bother to call, but it's a little bit telling that David did not invite them over.

One of the most weirdest things in life is how offhanded family can treat you.
 
One possibility is that David may have in fact called Bob with the good news (which, even if they grew apart, is the normal thing to do unless their relationship was beyond fucked).

BUT, it may have been Barb who happened to take the call. Being the manipulative harpy that she is known to be, she feigned being super nice and very glad to hear it, told Bob wasn't at home right then, and promised to tell him ASAP.

And then she conveniently forgot. Oops! Now Bob's money and attention would be exclusively for her and their tardspawn, with David left to think Bob just didn't give a fuck and further stranding them.
I actually feel sick to my stomach how probable this is.
 
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