The Cole Smithey Thread

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King n Yellow said:
As said before, it seems the massive ego and sense of entitlement stems from genetics coming from Barb. The difference between him and Chris though is that Chris has a bunch of other shit heaped on top of that like his severe autism and extreme stupidity from being coddled and raised by TV and vidya.

Because Cole didn't have the limiting factors Chris has, he managed to escape Barb and Co. and eventually realized Barb was an awful human being and it was better off to cut ties with that part of the family.
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Cole compared to Barb or Chris is the lesser autist
 
Masterfoxz2 said:
Cole seems like a notorious douche. Why Chris would want him back in his life is beyond me.
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He doesn't.

He wants Cole to bear the responsibility of looking after their snorlax of a mother so he's free to go continue the love quest.
 
ghostyTrickster said:
Does this count as a-log when the subject isn't a lolcow?
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He's not a roaring alpha lolcow like Chris, but he's certainly funny.

Seriously, he's this ridiculous tard who with a straight face calls himself "The Smartest Film Critic in the World" and plus he dresses like the most insufferable hipster douche ever.

Meanwhile, his video reviews have about 10% of the hits his behemoth of a lolcow half-brother has. His only claim to fame, for such a genius, is hating Toy Story 3 and being a dick about it. He's a joke.

The only reason he isn't a massive lolcow himself is he doesn't chimp easily.
 
Philosophy Zombie said:
http://www.colesmithey.com/filmblog...ews-star-wars-the-force-awakens-trailer-.html
http://www.colesmithey.com/reviews/2015/10/the-martian.html
Cole is a huge faggot. Discuss
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Motherfucker, that review of The Martian was a straight shot of thalidomide to the brain.

It's like he didn't even watch the movie. And if he did watch it, he's even dumber for all the basic plot points he gets wrong. He blames the crew for leaving Mark Whatney behind when their censors told them he was already dead and they spend the whole movie regretting their actions. He blames the disco music in the movie, which was straight from the Andy Weir book, on Drew Goddard. He says the movie "calls for every cliché in the book," when he gave Gravity a perfect score even though that movie was significantly more predictable.* He complains that the music wasn't punk instead of disco, even though the music is supposed to be something that's driving Whatney mad.

Then there's this fucking paragraph:

* For that matter, saying a movie is "predictable" without any expansion on why that's a problem has got to be one of the top three indicators of a hack critic. Fucking Romeo and Juliet starts off telling you the Capulets and the Montagues put an end to their feud after two of their kids fall in love and commit suicide.

Cuck Smithey said:
For a sci-fi escape movie, Mark Watney barely breaks a sweat as he whiles away hundreds of “Sols” (the Mars version of a day). He’s never anything less than confident in his ability to “science the shit our of his predicament.” It reflects an attitude that politicians express toward Global Warming. When things get really bad, “we can science the shit out of it,” and spend lots of cash on Government contracts for bogus companies to cash checks rather than do anything to address the causes of the crisis.
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What kind of crap is this? Does that mean every time a big problem comes along like Global Warming we should just sit back and take it rather than using science to stop it?

Fucking of course. Cole Smithey is the same moral coward who blamed the filmmakers, Sony, and the US government for North Korea's fatwa and hacking campaign against The Interview. This is the kind of hateful fascist apology I expect -- and on this particular issue have already seen -- from Ted Rall.

Which is why it's also no surprise that he's Cole's only friend.
 
Ugh, the Starwars trailer review really shows this man shares 50% of his DNA with Chris.

Not only is Cole a pedantic douchebag whose whole analysis consists of pointing his finger and yelling "see this shit is problematic! it's as pro-war as American Sniper", he's a sad liberal strawman. He felt the need to namedrop Al Gore and the Florida vote recount in a fucking Starwars trailer review. Seriously Cole that was over 15 years ago, get over it. It's not gonna help you win cookie points with the socjus crowd.
 
AnOminous said:
If Cole Smithey isn't a lolcow, maybe he's a douchecow.
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Hes still harping on about the Bush/Gore recount. The only thing to get upset about is what the Supreme court did and how it relates and thats about it.

*Asterisk* said:
Motherfucker, that review of The Martian was a straight shot of thalidomide to the brain.

It's like he didn't even watch the movie. And if he did watch it, he's even dumber for all the basic plot points he gets wrong. He blames the crew for leaving Mark Whatney behind when their censors told them he was already dead and they spend the whole movie regretting their actions. He blames the disco music in the movie, which was straight from the Andy Weir book, on Drew Goddard. He says the movie "calls for every cliché in the book," when he gave Gravity a perfect score even though that movie was significantly more predictable.* He complains that the music wasn't punk instead of disco, even though the music is supposed to be something that's driving Whatney mad.

Then there's this fucking paragraph:

* For that matter, saying a movie is "predictable" without any expansion on why that's a problem has got to be one of the top three indicators of a hack critic. Fucking Romeo and Juliet starts off telling you the Capulets and the Montagues put an end to their feud after two of their kids fall in love and commit suicide.



What kind of crap is this? Does that mean every time a big problem comes along like Global Warming we should just sit back and take it rather than using science to stop it?

Fucking of course. Cole Smithey is the same moral coward who blamed the filmmakers, Sony, and the US government for North Korea's fatwa and hacking campaign against The Interview. This is the kind of hateful fascist apology I expect -- and on this particular issue have already seen -- from Ted Rall.

Which is why it's also no surprise that he's Cole's only friend.
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How do he and Ted Rall know each other?
 
Makes you wonder what could have been if the internet had been a big thing when Cole was in his 20s, like Chris was when he was discovered.
 
DragoonSierra said:
How do he and Ted Rall know each other?
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They go way back. This flyer is obviously Rall's design.
461px-ColePostcardB.jpg
 
Ok, every time Cole puts out a movie review, we need to get Chris to make a video reviewing the same movie. Every time.
 
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