The Cole Smithey Thread

  • 🏰 The Fediverse is up. If you know, you know.
  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
One man's arrogance and self-importance is another man's confidence. I am sure there are people here who think he's arrogant and self-important just because he dares to try and be a film critic even though he's "just" a dude from a white-trash family, especially since he's often such a contrarian. He's best known for giving negative reviews to universally loved movies, and I am sure that rubs people up the wrong way, but contrarianism in journalism is a well-worn road, and it's important to have iconoclasts in culture.

It should be clear to anyone with a sense of irony that the "Smartest Film Critic in the World" thing is tongue-in-cheek.
The difference between arrogance and confidence is what the audience thinks of it. If everyone thinks he's super arrogant, then he is, regardless of his intentions.

And anyway, Cole's critiqued on here because he's connected to Chris. Otherwise no one would give a shit.
 
The reviews are invariably full of pseudo-intellectual tosh that tells you nothing about the movie itself.

People criticising popular culture in the same way they'd criticise "high art" like fine art and literature is often dismissed as psuedo-intellectualism. Personally I disagree.

He's a minor critic at best.

I wouldn't even call him that. He's more like a hobbyist.

Because nothing worthwhile comes out of fly-over states...?

I didn't say that or anything like it. I just meant that people in "fly-over states" often have an automatic distaste for the lifestyles of people in NYC or California, and they sometimes really hate it when people with similar backgrounds to them adopt those lifestyles, as if it's an unacceptable disruption to the natural order of things. I've travelled a lot in the US and I took a lot of pleasure in exploring the "fly-over states". While I personally wouldn't choose to live there, I certainly don't think nothing worthwhile comes out of them, so calm your boots.
 
So Cole is married to a woman who is happy to support his passion and who owns a bar. I kind of feel like I can't really mock him any more.
Yeah I can't feel anything other than good for Cole like I do for Bob's other kids because they got out of Borb's sphere of influence and are doing OK. He's not a good film critic but apparently he's got an ace up his sleeve as a husband. It's freaky sex stuff, isn't it?
 
And anyway, Cole's critiqued on here because he's connected to Chris. Otherwise no one would give a shit.
I have to disagree on this one. I've checked out some of Coles reviews and I 'enjoyed' them as much as eating broken glass and washing them down with Habanero Sauce.

He comes across as a self-centred, arrogant, pseudo-intellectual douchebag and even if he was not linked to OPL, I would still dislike Cole for his pretentious garbage. Given, being Chris' half-brother doesn't help his reputation on this forum, but it's not like he's disliked for that alone.

Edit: upon reading your post again, I guess I might have missed your point:

Yeah if he wasn't connected to Chris, noone would think twice about Cole. But I would still think he's a douchebag when I was ever exposed to him.
 
Last edited:
I have to disagree on this one. I've checked out some of Coles reviews and I 'enjoyed' them as much as eating broken glass and washing them down with Habanero Sauce.

He comes across as a self-centred, arrogant, pseudo-intellectual douchebag and even if he was not linked to OPL, I would still dislike Cole for his pretentious garbage. Given, being Chris' half-brother doesn't help his reputation on this forum, but it's not like he's disliked for that alone.
Yeah, but without the Chris connection, you'd never even know about Cole. Pretentious aging hipster douchebags are not a rare commodity.
 
We'd know who Cole was, thanks to him being one of the four critics who didn't give Toy Story 3 a glowing review. We'd have just forgotten about him again five minutes later, thanks to him yet again being overshadowed by someone more notorious.
 
Cole and his wife seem like pretty good people. I never understood why people here mock him in the first place. I always figured it was jealousy to be honest. Not that Cole is a high achiever, but he has a pretty good lifestyle, living in a good place and spending his time doing stuff he enjoys, whereas probably a lot of the people here who mock him live in the middle of nowhere and work jobs that they don't enjoy. There's also the whole "Mainstream Hollywood movies and Budweiser are plenty good enough for me, how dare he think they aren't good enough for him. How pretentious!" thing going on. I guess people in the fly-over states just hate people in NYC and California, and they hate people who have dragged themselves up from a shitty background in the fly-over states even more. How dare they?

His wife has nothing to do with anything and I don't agree with her being brought up. It's one degree of separation too far.

The whole idea that people who criticize Cole are generic beer-swilling, superhero-watching corn-fed nitwits from Mid-America is a sentiment that you undoubtedly share with Cole Smithey. He's a terrible writer, motivated by grotesque jealousy (see his review of Life Itself as well as his comments on critics that Ebert gave a platform to -- a wide variety of personalities who have in common only the trait that they're not named Cole Smithey) and has a deep feeling of inadequacy, which you can see both in his puffing up of his published outlets (it's a tiny handful of alternative weeklies largely in the kind of places you mock) and his hilarious purchase of fans for his social media pages. People who are confident, living a pretty good lifestyle and doing stuff they enjoy don't carry on petty arguments with dead men or try to impress people with fake fans.

But definitely, Cole would agree with you that they're just entirely too pleb to appreciate his refined tastes, despite that argument hardly ever being made here at all. So jelly we mad, bro.
 
His wife has nothing to do with anything and I don't agree with her being brought up. It's one degree of separation too far.

I disagree. If we're going to discuss Cole Smithey for 58 pages, or indeed his brother over an entire forum, then it's not unreasonable to also bring up his wife. We're so far past standard conceptions of normalcy and decency that it's completely senseless to start suddenly drawing lines in the sand now. Remember where you are.

The whole idea that people who criticize Cole are generic beer-swilling, superhero-watching corn-fed nitwits from Mid-America is a sentiment that you undoubtedly share with Cole Smithey.

I don't have a problem with people criticizing his work, especially people who aren't coming from a place of ignorance. I'm just confused at how many people feel the need to mock him as a human being, when he seems like a pretty reasonable guy to me. My observation was that most of this mockery is a result of cultural differences between Mid-America and the coasts.

He's a terrible writer

That's your opinion and you are welcome to it. For the record I don't think he's a great writer either.

motivated by grotesque jealousy (see his review of Life Itself

I just read it, and I didn't see any jealousy at all. He points out that it's a weak documentary. He makes the observation that it would be a stronger documentary if the unsavory aspects of Ebert's life were discussed. (undoubtedly true of any biographical documentary) He then goes on to say that he's a big fan of Roger Ebert's work, even though he's not a big fan of what he's heard about his personality, and he doesn't think that Ebert is as influential a figure as he's reckoned to be. I don't think Smithey's iconoclasty and lack of hushed reverence for the deceased Ebert counts as grotesque jealousy. Do you think that any kind of criticism one levels at a person more successful than oneself is automatically motivated by jealousy? Smithey goes out of his way to mention his deep respect for Ebert's work. Those aren't the words of a jealous man. I am not sure what you were expecting, to be honest. To ignore the flaws in the film or the flaws in Ebert's character would be doing a pretty shitty job of being a critic.


as well as his comments on critics that Ebert gave a platform to -- a wide variety of personalities who have in common only the trait that they're not named Cole Smithey

I'm not sure what you are referring to so I can't comment.

and has a deep feeling of inadequacy, which you can see both in his puffing up of his published outlets (it's a tiny handful of alternative weeklies

I don't see any inadequacy. He seems happy, relaxed and confident to me. He's never lied about any of his published outlets. He doesn't make a point of how insignificant they are, but who would? You can't blame a man for failing to deliberately undermine his own credibility. Part of his job (if you can call it that, to me it's more like a serious hobby than a job) is to promote himself. Do you think that because his achievements are modest, he shouldn't be allowed to mention them at all?

largely in the kind of places you mock

I didn't and don't mock anywhere.

and his hilarious purchase of fans for his social media pages.

Obviously this is a mistake on his part and is a pretty lame thing to do. He isn't the only person to make a mistake like this though. Plenty of real big shots have done it too. Again though, his job is to promote himself and his film criticism. You assume that Smithey purchased fake fans to try and act like he's some kind of big man. I think it's more reasonable to assume that it was a misguided marketing technique for his enterprise. We'll never know his motivations for sure, and I doubt we'll agree either.

But definitely, Cole would agree with you that they're just entirely too pleb to appreciate his refined tastes.

Plenty of people get pissed off and defensive when they are confronted with stuff they don't understand, and it pisses them off even more when people take something that is familiar to them (like a Hollywood movie) and put it into a context that they don't understand. This is a definite factor in human nature, and you've failed to convince me that it isn't constantly in play in this thread.
 
Well, I'm a beer-drinkin' country boy who dern sure don't appreciate high-falutin' city slickers walkin' around and puttin' on airs.

I think we can all agree, though, that no matter your political, social, or economic background, that Cole is a terrible movie reviewer simply because he doesn't actually watch the movies he reviews. He can't even be arsed to watch, which is probably the easiest part of being a movie reviewer. He can only watch a trailer before he farts out his opinion on his review page, which gets a whopping tens of hits a year.
 
I disagree. If we're going to discuss Cole Smithey for 58 pages, or indeed his brother over an entire forum, then it's not unreasonable to also bring up his wife. We're so far past standard conceptions of normalcy and decency that it's completely senseless to start suddenly drawing lines in the sand now. Remember where you are.


Reading a point by point rebuttal (including thought-provoking responses like "I'm not sure what you are referring to so I can't comment" and "That's your opinion and you are welcome to it"), I would never forget where we are.


Obviously this is a mistake on his part and is a pretty lame thing to do. He isn't the only person to make a mistake like this though. Plenty of real big shots have done it too. Again though, his job is to promote himself and his film criticism. You assume that Smithey purchased fake fans to try and act like he's some kind of big man. I think it's more reasonable to assume that it was a misguided marketing technique for his enterprise. We'll never know his motivations for sure, and I doubt we'll agree either.

So you agree he's a bad writer (a fact often discussed in this thread) and that buying 25,000 social media fans is retarded (a practice which was discovered in this thread), but you still can't find anything valid in criticism of him in this thread, and we must therefore be jealous of his refined NYC tastes.

Ok.


Plenty of people get pissed off and defensive when they are confronted with stuff they don't understand, and it pisses them off even more when people take something that is familiar to them (like a Hollywood movie) and put it into a context that they don't understand.

He writes about the same amount about foreign movies as most critics (who actually write entire books about them).


This is a definite factor in human nature, and you've failed to convince me that it isn't constantly in play in this thread.


d1I00ej.jpg
 
Cole isn't a lolcow. He's a lolcow's brother. His wife has no reason whatsoever to be talked about here. Actually, neither does Cole except when it relates directly to Chris- and in those cases it fits better in the relevant Chris thread anyway.

Unless Null, Katsu, DD, or champ have any objections, I think this thread has reached a pointless sperg level where locking it will result in nothing of value being lost.
 
Yeah... I'm gonna lock this thread.

Edit: Err, apparently this post is kosher. Nevermind then, unlocking.
 
Last edited:
His ego is just as massive as Chris's. He just isn't (as) autistic.

As said before, it seems the massive ego and sense of entitlement stems from genetics coming from Barb. The difference between him and Chris though is that Chris has a bunch of other shit heaped on top of that like his severe autism and extreme stupidity from being coddled and raised by TV and vidya.

Because Cole didn't have the limiting factors Chris has, he managed to escape Barb and Co. and eventually realized Barb was an awful human being and it was better off to cut ties with that part of the family.
 
Back
Top Bottom