The Cole Smithey Thread

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Sir William Gooch said:
I thought it ricocheted off a steel door? I know a lot of apartments in that part of the state are built with these thick, heavy steel front doors.
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Considering the fact the Chandlers are cheap fucks i'm guessing it was one of those little piece of shit H&R numbers in .32 S&W. A peashooter like that isnt going to rip through a steel door.
 
ANobody said:
Considering the fact the Chandlers are cheap fucks i'm guessing it was one of those little piece of shit H&R numbers in .32 S&W. A peashooter like that isnt going to rip through a steel door.
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Nor would a .45 for that matter. If it's like those old school steel doors. Those things you can plow a car into and the door will tear out of the frame before it bends I'd bet.

But I'm guessing if it was a revolver, it was likely a .38.
 
ChrisPlusColeEqualsAl.PNG


I did not think I would be posting about Cole Smithey in 2022.
But I had an epiphany that explains why he spoiled Toy Story 3's perfect score:
Al from Toy Story 2 is what would result if Chris and Cole were merged into the same person.
 
This website is dedicated to Agnès Varda and to Luis Buñuel. Back in the fall of 2016 I was working for Forbes. I was writing, directing, and producing a video series entitled NETFLIX NOW! where I highlighted film picks for what to watch on Netflix when I received a press release about this new streaming service that combined the film libraries of Turner Classic Movies with films from the Criterion Collection, Kino Lorber, Film Movement, First Run Features, Global Lens, Flicker Alley, Icarus Films, Janus Films, MGM, Milestone, Oscilloscope Laboratories, Shout! Factory, and Warner Brothers. I immediately dropped what I was doing and launched "Filmstruck Streaming" to coincide with the inauguration of this amazing streaming service.

can anybody verify this? supposedly, cole smithey worked for forbes and made some kind of auteur movie reccomendation series. I was writing, directing, and producing a video series entitled NETFLIX NOW!
okay cole, its basically just a podcast, dont talk yourself up so much. also, cole, you really have to stop abusing a thesaurus.
 
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Michael Janke said:
can anybody verify this? supposedly, cole smithey worked for forbes and made some kind of auteur movie reccomendation series. I was writing, directing, and producing a video series entitled NETFLIX NOW!
okay cole, its basically just a podcast, dont talk yourself up so much. also, cole, you really have to stop abusing a thesaurus.
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Forbes publishes articles from independent writers these days, rather than maintaining a large staff of reporters. That probably means he didn't "work for Forbes" as an employee, but rather Forbes published some of his articles, where he got a cut of ad revenue.
 
Cole has some hot opinions on the big issue of the moment:

Chris Rock deserves a fucking medal for how he comported himself at the Oscars after Will Smith walked on stage and slapped the defenseless Chris Rock on live television.

Chris Rock — professional.

Will Smith — amateur.

I interviewed Chris Rock once. He was great. But the lesson I learned from him tonight was priceless.

Such grace is rare, very rare.

Now, my respect for Chris Rock is as high as that of any man other than myself.

Respect Lion.

As for for the narcissist Will Smith, if it were you or me, we'd be in handcuffs down at the pokey for a day or three.

As for me, I vow to never watch, much less review, another Will Smith movie.

May neither Will or Jada ever work in Hollywood again.
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I feel sorry for the Guy that he knows he Will forever be remembered as "that Guy who is related to a cross dressing retard that raped their mutual mother", but shit like "Now, my respect for Chris Rock is as high as that of any man other than myself." Just shows he trieds to hide behind a huge ego.
 
Raiken said:
I feel sorry for the Guy that he knows he Will forever be remembered as "that Guy who is related to a cross dressing retard that raped their mutual mother", but shit like "Now, my respect for Chris Rock is as high as that of any man other than myself." Just shows he trieds to hide behind a huge ego.
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I suspect the Scale of Respect is genetic now
 
Raiken said:
I feel sorry for the Guy that he knows he Will forever be remembered as "that Guy who is related to a cross dressing retard that raped their mutual mother", but shit like "Now, my respect for Chris Rock is as high as that of any man other than myself." Just shows he trieds to hide behind a huge ego.
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He is his mother's son.
 
"As for me, I vow to never watch, much less review, another Will Smith movie."

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Will Smith is unable to hear your opinion over the sound of his wealth and fans, including people who respect him *more* for slapping Chris Rock. I'm sure he really cares about you weighing in on his nigga moment. For that matter, I bet Chris Rock really appreciates the praise. He definitely doesn't know that if he had ran off and yelled for security, the event would've been a minor news blurb, instead of a viral meme that got people to give a shit about the Oscars and made headlines over the literal war in Ukraine. He's definitely not a performer who is acutely aware that the show must go on, under all circumstances. If you asked Chris Rock who Cole Smithey is, he wouldn't ask "is that like where a blacksmith puts his coal?"

But hey Cole, at least you have a forum thread where people discuss things like the identity of your real dad and overanalyze the time your insane mother shot at a burglar and almost killed you in the 70s. If your autistic half brother is Jesus Christ, that makes you like John the Baptist, so there's that.
 
Raiken said:
I feel sorry for the Guy that he knows he Will forever be remembered as "that Guy who is related to a cross dressing retard that raped their mutual mother", but shit like "Now, my respect for Chris Rock is as high as that of any man other than myself." Just shows he trieds to hide behind a huge ego.
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From CWC's Diary wrt the 2005 Walmart incident:
He went up to the Wal-Mart Manajerk, and he was like, “Hey, Let’s talk.” But I sat silent for a minute, then I said to him, “I do not speek to any Man other than myself, because they all have taken all the pretty girls leaving me with none.”
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Un-fucking-canny.
 
brahsparagus said:
From CWC's Diary wrt the 2005 Walmart incident:


Un-fucking-canny.
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I wonder if barb talked like that at some point?
i dont think Bob chandler ever spoke that way and it makes sense since both cole and chris had extended intereaction with barb. i don't think cole ever met bob til he was like 15.
Fascist Frederick said:
Chandlers, but you can't take the Chandler out of Cole.
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i dont think that expression is a chandler expression, my anecdotal observation concludes it's a Barb expression.
 
No Batty Boys in Jamaica said:
View attachment 2996984

I did not think I would be posting about Cole Smithey in 2022.
But I had an epiphany that explains why he spoiled Toy Story 3's perfect score:
Al from Toy Story 2 is what would result if Chris and Cole were merged into the same person.
Click to expand...
Dimensional merge is real, Chris does not need wait to get out of prison, Chris is taking over Cole's body. Here's hoping that there isn't any soul tearing incest this time around.
 
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