The Cole Smithey Thread

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Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

Batman said:
Cole has no success. Nobody reads his reviews, the only time people other than us paid attention to him is when he wrote his retarded Toy Story 3 review.

Having said that, go for it. You might not be the next Roger Ebert but it shouldn't be too hard to be better than Cole.
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I stand by my claim that Cole doesn't like movies. His reviews are mostly just way over-thought dreck. When I read them all I think is "yes yes you're using college words". I'm of the mind that he cares more about trying to come off as an intellectual then about enjoying film for what it is.
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

he has another job. the movie critic thing is just what any other wannabe nyc intellectual does do go see free films and claim to have some sort of credentials. there are hundreds in the city that either call themselves "freelance" or have a shit website so they can get those press credentials for previews and free swag. it's like any other sperglord that claims to have some loose affiliation with the media in order to get press passes.
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

Are we sure he has another job? I heard somewhere that he was a house-husband, I.e. he's living Chris' dream life.
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

Batman said:
CatParty said:
Batman said:
Are we sure he has another job? I heard somewhere that he was a house-husband, I.e. he's living Chris' dream life.
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http://www.smartnewmedia.net/
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Are you sure this is his proper job, or just an extension of his work as a 'critic'?
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More to the point, is anyone arguing that this ISN'T just an extension of his work as a "critic"? A production/distribution company that has no projects except for Cole's shitty YouTube show isn't going to pay anyone's bills.
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

Sorry for all the mmmyeahs but I just love reading critiques about cole. ]:(P :heart-full: AUGH YEAH
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

ChurchOfGodBear said:
More to the point, is anyone arguing that this ISN'T just an extension of his work as a "critic"? A production/distribution company that has no projects except for Coleslaw's shitty YouTube show isn't going to pay anyone's bills.
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My guess is that Cole works at some low-medium income job for his money but he has such a big ego that he would never admit this to anyone since it would be confirming that his critic "job" is a bust and that he's not popular or famous. It makes me wonder if he met his gf/wife/sex partner/whatever the hell she is to him through whatever job he works for?
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

EleSigma said:
Batman said:
It seems that Cole's not the only one who thought that the Lego movie was anti-capitalist. Fox News are in on it too.

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/vi ... Capitalist
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Uh oh, Coleslaw has opinions the right wing agrees with, he's going to have to bathe in a tub of craft beer and attend a North Korean re-education camp now to cleanse his mind of damn dirty Republican thoughts.
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Orrrr he secretly writes for Fox.
 
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Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

Varis said:
EleSigma said:
Batman said:
It seems that Cole's not the only one who thought that the Lego movie was anti-capitalist. Fox News are in on it too.

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/vi ... Capitalist
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Uh oh, Coleslaw has opinions the right wing agrees with, he's going to have to bathe in a tub of craft beer and attend a North Korean re-education camp now to cleanse his mind of damn dirty Republican thoughts.
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Orrrr he secretly writes for Fox.
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They also thought The Muppets movie was anti-capitalist. Because the "Save the theater with a show!" trope hasn't been a thing since forever.
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

DrChristianTroy said:
Varis said:
EleSigma said:
Uh oh, Coleslaw has opinions the right wing agrees with, he's going to have to bathe in a tub of craft beer and attend a North Korean re-education camp now to cleanse his mind of damn dirty Republican thoughts.
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Orrrr he secretly writes for Fox.
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They also thought The Muppets movie was anti-capitalist. Because the "Save the theater with a show!" trope hasn't been a thing since forever.
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How would that be anti-capitalist anyway? I'm assuming the theater was saved by people buying tickets to said show, right? :?
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

EleSigma said:
My guess is that Coleslaw works at some low-medium income job for his money but he has such a big ego that he would never admit this to anyone since it would be confirming that his critic "job" is a bust and that he's not popular or famous. It makes me wonder if he met his gf/wife/sex partner/whatever the hell she is to him through whatever job he works for?
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After some research I've learned that Coleslaw's current wife is a general manager of a bar that specializes in craft beer. Like Borb, that's probably how Cole and his wife met: at the bar.
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

Mourning Dove said:
EleSigma said:
My guess is that Coleslaw works at some low-medium income job for his money but he has such a big ego that he would never admit this to anyone since it would be confirming that his critic "job" is a bust and that he's not popular or famous. It makes me wonder if he met his gf/wife/sex partner/whatever the hell she is to him through whatever job he works for?
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After some research I've learned that Coleslaw's current wife is a general manager of a bar that specializes in craft beer. Like Borb, that's probably how Coleslaw and his wife met: at the bar.
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Wow... Divorced guy past his prime meets a chick (with low standards) in a bar and marries her while there's still bubbles in his bottle. Where have I heard this before?
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

Coleslaw is 50 and his new wife is 45. So there's not as an extreme age difference as with Borb.
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

Batman said:
They're also probably not planning to have kids, another little difference.
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It's been speculated a while back that possibly (and hopefully) Chris and Cole are sterile, Chris for sure. Cole might be afraid to have kids because of responsibilities (and it being too mainstream) and the chance the kid might turn out to not to Cole's liking. Though now Cole and wife are too old for kids anyways unless they want to spawn another CWC.

Also considering Cole's wife is a bartender, that shoots down the idea of him meeting her at a job, unless he works at a bar. The search for Cole's real job continues then.
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

ChurchOfGodBear said:
Mourning Dove said:
EleSigma said:
My guess is that Coleslaw works at some low-medium income job for his money but he has such a big ego that he would never admit this to anyone since it would be confirming that his critic "job" is a bust and that he's not popular or famous. It makes me wonder if he met his gf/wife/sex partner/whatever the hell she is to him through whatever job he works for?
Click to expand...

After some research I've learned that Coleslaw's current wife is a general manager of a bar that specializes in craft beer. Like Borb, that's probably how Coleslaw and his wife met: at the bar.
Click to expand...
Wow... Divorced guy past his prime meets a chick (with low standards) in a bar and marries her while there's still bubbles in his bottle. Where have I heard this before?
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I wouldn't jump to say anyone who runs a bar with craft beer has low standards.
 
Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

Henry Bemis said:
Mourning Dove said:
After some research I've learned that Coleslaw's current wife is a general manager of a bar that specializes in craft beer. Like Borb, that's probably how Coleslaw and his wife met: at the bar.
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I wouldn't jump to say anyone who runs a bar with craft beer has low standards.
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Henry Bemis speaks some wisdom. Walking on thin ice is the man who insults patrons of craft beer in my presence.
 
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