The Cole Smithey Thread

[sparklemilhouse]

Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

Has the auctions stopped since he married that girl back in the fall? hee, I like to imagine she put her foot down on those, and told him how pathetic and pretentious he looks.

 

[Holdek]

Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

The old adage is "No publicity is bad publicity." Reality has a way of telling you that's bullshit. Coleslaw already got lambasted once by the public for his Toy Story 3 review, but he was lame and low enough on the totem pole to avoid staying in people's minds. If he gave Frozen a bad review and got himself attention for it, some people may recognize the name or just casually Google this random reviewer to see what his other opinions were and realize that he got in the same shit a few years back over another extremely popular animated film. And then some people might look at his website and see the rest of his reviews. If Coleslaw doesn't fade into obscurity within days once more, he'll gain the same reputation he has here: a crappy reviewer who hasn't got a clue what he's doing and thinks that he does.

Wait, so he purposely avoids attention even though he tries to be a syndicated film columnist?

I doubt it. The day Mrs Cole tells her husband that he looks pathetic and pretentious is the day Mrs Cole finds herself a new fucking husband.

Lady Coleslaw is his meal ticket.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

If Cole's as smart as he thinks he is, then he knows when to pick his battles. He probably knows giving Frozen a bad review won't do his reputation much good.

If Cole were as smart as he thinks he is, he would be aware that his reputation is nonexistent outside of an internet community that cares more about his retard brother, and thus would not fear being open with his reviews.

 

[Carlson]

Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

The old adage is "No publicity is bad publicity." Reality has a way of telling you that's bullshit. Coleslaw already got lambasted once by the public for his Toy Story 3 review, but he was lame and low enough on the totem pole to avoid staying in people's minds. If he gave Frozen a bad review and got himself attention for it, some people may recognize the name or just casually Google this random reviewer to see what his other opinions were and realize that he got in the same shit a few years back over another extremely popular animated film. And then some people might look at his website and see the rest of his reviews. If Coleslaw doesn't fade into obscurity within days once more, he'll gain the same reputation he has here: a crappy reviewer who hasn't got a clue what he's doing and thinks that he does.

Wait, so he purposely avoids attention even though he tries to be a syndicated film columnist?

No. I only said that he might be avoiding putting out a "controversial" shitty review of Frozen because he's aware that it would just result in a negative opinion of him. I think his Toy Story 3 review, along with other poor reviews of popular films like The Avengers (often ones where he seems to have not watched the whole movie or applied bizarre interpretations to imagery), was meant to be "edgy" and get him attention, making him viewed as an intelligent critic who took a more careful look at popular media and found its flaws. Unfortunately, he ended up delivering a low-quality review with unintentional Freudian glimpses at his own psyche. Whatever attention he got outside of the CWC fandom was "This guy's a dumbass" and he was rapidly forgotten.

I don't think he wants to have a repeat of that with Frozen, as he ends up with two choices for how it goes: he once more fails to get attention other than mockery, or enough people put two and two together after recognizing him as "The asshole who wrote that shitty Toy Story 3 review" and publicly point and laugh until he gains a more widespread reputation as a crappy reviewer. Nothing good would come of making that move.

I think he does try to get attention, but he's really shitty at marketing himself and is too pretentious to make the connections he needs in the business to gain prominence.

 

[A-Stump]

Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

I just actually saw Toy Story 3 not too long ago and have an opinion I share with Coleslaw in that I didn't like it. I don't even think as a kid I would have liked it. The movie had a sort of nasty message about it which just set a sour tone. Not to sperg but okay, a little, even though the bear thing was an asshole what had happened at the end to it was just a little too mean spirited.

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

Has the auctions stopped since he married that girl back in the fall? hee, I like to imagine she put her foot down on those, and told him how pathetic and pretentious he looks.

Tell a Weston that his attraction sign looks stupid, he just finds a new attraction sign.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

I just actually saw Toy Story 3 not too long ago and have an opinion I share with Coleslaw in that I didn't like it. I don't even think as a kid I would have liked it. The movie had a sort of nasty message about it which just set a sour tone. Not to sperg but okay, a little, even though the bear thing was an asshole what had happened at the end to it was just a little too mean spirited.

Kids need to learn the world isn't sunshine and lollipops and be scared/sad once in awhile. If it comes from funny toys, even better.

 

[Butta Face Lopez]

Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

I just actually saw Toy Story 3 not too long ago and have an opinion I share with Coleslaw in that I didn't like it. I don't even think as a kid I would have liked it. The movie had a sort of nasty message about it which just set a sour tone. Not to sperg but okay, a little, even though the bear thing was an asshole what had happened at the end to it was just a little too mean spirited.

Kids need to learn the world isn't sunshine and lollipops and be scared/sad once in awhile. If it comes from funny toys, even better.

They could just watch Game of Thrones though, then they'd get to see boobs too.

 

[WiseOldBadger]

Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

Is there any evidence that Cole has any idea just what Chris has been up to, i.e with the trolls, Mary Lee Walsh, Snyder, death threats, whole terrible internet reputation etc?

I wonder if he knew, would he feel dishonored by Chris or would he just not give a damn?

 

[CatParty]

Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

Is there any evidence that Coleslaw has any idea just what Chris has been up to, i.e with the trolls, Mary Lee Walsh, Snyder, death threats, whole terrible internet reputation etc?

I wonder if he knew, would he feel dishonored by Chris or would he just not give a damn?

He does not care, as has been stated in this thread.

 

[A-Stump]

Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

I just actually saw Toy Story 3 not too long ago and have an opinion I share with Coleslaw in that I didn't like it. I don't even think as a kid I would have liked it. The movie had a sort of nasty message about it which just set a sour tone. Not to sperg but okay, a little, even though the bear thing was an asshole what had happened at the end to it was just a little too mean spirited.

Kids need to learn the world isn't sunshine and lollipops and be scared/sad once in awhile. If it comes from funny toys, even better.

It's not about 'being scared' (the conveyor belt leading into the furnace). I'm going to break down this character for you. It was a teddy bear that was once kind and loving and became twisted by hate once it was lost and it's owner completely forgot about it. Instead of the character finding some sort of redemption or at least having a way to realize the hate it felt was because of a feeling of abandonment, it instead gets tied to a garbage truck in a scene that says 'haha, he totally deserved that, what a dick'. It's just not a good thing considering the character's backstory, it just feels bitter and overtly merciless.

 

[c-no]

Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

Is there any evidence that Coleslaw has any idea just what Chris has been up to, i.e with the trolls, Mary Lee Walsh, Snyder, death threats, whole terrible internet reputation etc?

I wonder if he knew, would he feel dishonored by Chris or would he just not give a damn?

He does not care, as has been stated in this thread.

Especially if one tried to message him that Chris' house burned down. He'd probably reply saying you are an idiot.

 

[LordCustos3]

Never noticed this before:

Never noticed this before:
According to Rottentomatoes.com, Coleslaw "Agrees with the Tomatometer 78% of the time."
Hmmmmn.....does this mean....
1) His attempts at being an edgy contrarian fail to make him stand out from the pack....or....
2) Is the mediocrity of modern media so pervasive that even a hack pretending to be an edgy contrarian just gets lost in the statistical noise?

Anyhow....enough about that....
Is anyone else annoyed how his rating system autistically lists "no halves" at the end of every review?
WTF is that bullshit?
If it is a "3 Star" movie instead of a "3 1/2 Stars" movie....isn't just saying its a "3 Star" movie adequate?

 

[Watcher]

Re: Never noticed this before:

Never noticed this before:
According to Rottentomatoes.com, Coleslaw "Agrees with the Tomatometer 78% of the time."
Hmmmmn.....does this mean....
1) His attempts at being an edgy contrarian fail to make him stand out from the pack....or....
2) Is the mediocrity of modern media so pervasive that even a hack pretending to be an edgy contrarian just gets lost in the statistical noise?

3) He's really pretentious and believes he has opinions that make him stand out from the crowd, when in reality he just agrees with popular opinion and his analysis is always half baked.

 

[RP 520]

Re: Never noticed this before:

Never noticed this before:
According to Rottentomatoes.com, Coleslaw "Agrees with the Tomatometer 78% of the time."
Hmmmmn.....does this mean....
1) His attempts at being an edgy contrarian fail to make him stand out from the pack....or....
2) Is the mediocrity of modern media so pervasive that even a hack pretending to be an edgy contrarian just gets lost in the statistical noise?

Or he just looks at Rotten Tomatoes, sees the reviews and if they're overwhelmingly bad or good he just makes a review that fits in line with the rest.

Also wasn't it discussed in the past that there's a possibility that he doesn't really even watch the movies he reviews and seems to make reviews that would imply he got his information from previews, wiki summaries and commercials?

 

[LordCustos3]

I'm patiently waiting for the day that Coleslaw writes 'Want Woman' on his muscle bra.

Nah. He wouldn't write "Want Woman" on it.
He'd write "Want Cult of Admirers that Take Me Seriously...."
(preferably one larger than my eedjit half-brothers.)

Also wasn't it discussed in the past that there's a possibility that he doesn't really even watch the movies he reviews and seems to make reviews that would imply he got his information from previews, wiki summaries and commercials?

Considering how deceptive some movie previews are nowadays, that would be a dumb and dangerous way to run a review site.

Always has been.
Take for example a movie from the early 90's called "Radio Flyer"; which, if you believed the previews, seemed like a feel-good bit of nostalgia about two young brothers.....but was actually a brutal, scarifying, relentlessly bleak movie about child abuse, alcoholism and retreating into psychotic fantasies of escape.

 

[Carlson]

Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

I think that one was brought up on 4Chan or something. He gave a review of a Nicholas Sparks movie that not only exclusively contained information from the previews, but incorrectly named the setting as a state where Nicholas Sparks always sets his books (I think North Carolina?) when it actually took place somewhere like Louisiana. Which made it apparent that he had literally done nothing but look at some trailers and build a false review off of that.

I think he actually lost enough cred that he stopped getting invites to press screenings a while ago.

 

[Cwckifan]

Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

I'm patiently waiting for the day that Coleslaw writes 'Want Woman' on his muscle bra.

Nah. He wouldn't write "Want Woman" on it.
He'd write "Want Cult of Admirers that Take Me Seriously...."
(preferably one larger than my eedjit half-brothers.)

Forget it folks, as long as he is married, marginally employed, and can produce things others like (music, in his case), he'll only ever bear a slight (at best) resemblance to Chris. Really, for all his pretentious silliness, he's achieved in one lifetime what Chris couldn't accomplish in 1000

 

[BALLZ-BROKEN]

Re: The Coleslaw Smithey Thread

Except be noticed on that dang ol' internet.

I'm surprised Cole doesn't have a page view counter on his website that looks like a odometer.

 

[MysticMisty]

Re: Never noticed this before:

Also wasn't it discussed in the past that there's a possibility that he doesn't really even watch the movies he reviews and seems to make reviews that would imply he got his information from previews, wiki summaries and commercials?

I wouldn't be surprised. He obviously wasn't paying attention during Toy Story 3 because he said that Andy was still playing with his toys even as he was about to start college when in fact he hadn't played with them in many years.