The Cole Smithey Thread

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The Joker said:
He wants to get rid of his brother Thor Chris, so that he will be the one with all the internet fame. It will be up to Chris to team up with JustinRPG, LadyALT69, Jessie Slaughter, Moleman9000, and Ahuviya Harel to form the LOLcow-Avengers to stop him!
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LOLAvengers is a great example of the modern view of social disabilities. Though the protagonists are laughed at throughout the entire film for being "weird", "creepy", "fat", or "spergy" they manage to draw strengths from each other to defeat the main antagonists. The movie has a powerful message about everybody having something they can bring to the table and anything is possible with the magic of friendship. 5/5 stars.

Ok, fluff that up to 5 pages and I think were good.
 
What are the best youtube videos of Cole's? Some of the comments are pretty amusing. (Keep zappin' to the extreme, Cole!)

I also noticed he took down his "Win a Night With Cole Smithey" auction. (What would've been funny if someone did take him up on his offer and then spent the entire time talking about Chris. Because that's the only way he could sell it.)
 
Mrs Paul said:
What are the best youtube videos of Cole's? Some of the comments are pretty amusing. (Keep zappin' to the extreme, Cole!)

I also noticed he took down his "Win a Night With Cole Smithey" auction. (What would've been funny if someone did take him up on his offer and then spent the entire time talking about Chris. Because that's the only way he could sell it.)
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Yeah... but who would be trolling who there?

Now, what would be really funny, is if you ran into Cole IRL, asked for an autograph and said "could you make it out to 'my baby brother's biggest fan - cole'?"
 
rocket said:
I'm sure this question's been raised elsewhere in the thread but man what does this guy really do for a living

My money's on assistant manager at Target
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He runs Dashcon.

For the rest of the year he takes weens on bus tours of Ruckersville and sells knockoff Sonichu merch.
 
rocket said:
I'm sure this question's been raised elsewhere in the thread but man what does this guy really do for a living

My money's on assistant manager at Target
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He may be a kept man.

Uzumaki said:
And someone's opinion of a movie isn't invalidated by not knowing the foreign title.
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A supposedly professional film critic's is.

Mrs Paul said:
What are the best youtube videos of Cole's? Some of the comments are pretty amusing. (Keep zappin' to the extreme, Cole!)
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There was some short film that he acted in that was on YouTube (oh also I'm pretty sure he wore a fedora in it) and there was an entirety of two comments:

1. Wow, it looks like this character is on some kind of love quest.

2. LOL
 
Holdek said:
He may be a kept man.
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cole lives chris's dream of being supported by his wife, enabling him to dick around with dead-end amusements all day

chris lives cole's dream of effortless internet fame for his works, such as they are

poetry
 
famous for being related to the most infamous lolcow on net history...thats a claim to fame...

can see a documentary on this lolcow being produced/directed by cole smithey
 
Meh, the thing about Coleslaw is that he is only a douche-bag hipster wannabe,of which their are countless hordes. He doesn't stand out.

While his brother Chris is truly a unique individual. Say what you want about Chris but he is truly one-of-a-kind.

Cole will never ever be more recognized then Chris. Which is a suitable punishment in my mind.
 
Sweet and Savoury said:
Cole will never ever be more recognized then Chris. Which is a suitable punishment in my mind.
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Personally, I'd like to see Errol Morris, a director Cole greatly admires, get interested enough in Chris to make a documentary, contact Cole, and see the World's Smartest Critic's head explode as one of his heroes keeps asking him about his retarded half brother.
 
Sweet and Savoury said:
Meh, the thing about Coleslaw is that he is only a douche-bag hipster wannabe,of which their are countless hordes. He doesn't stand out.

While his brother Chris is truly a unique individual. Say what you want about Chris but he is truly one-of-a-kind.

Cole will never ever be more recognized then Chris. Which is a suitable punishment in my mind.
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What a life. Cole will die and his life quickly forgotten about, Chris...well...his life is documented to the point of obsession. That's a cruel irony.
 
RandyCox said:
Personally, I'd like to see Errol Morris, a director Cole greatly admires, get interested enough in Chris to make a documentary, contact Cole, and see the World's Smartest Critic's head explode as one of his heroes keeps asking him about his retarded half brother.
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Personally I still would like David Lynch to do a movie about Chris ; my friends father knows him, as my friends father worked on Eraser Head.
 
Holdek said:
...despite Chris already being married himself.
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So "Lovely Weather" is a real person and Chris has found her at last!
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Still, while the so called "Smartest Film Critic in The World" probably won't become the next Gene Siskel, Roger Ebert, or even Richard Roeper for that matter and likely fade off into obscurity, I'd say if what he's been through is to be believed, he has a pretty good life all things considered. At the very least he's not subservient to an insane hag like :snorlax:. He reminds me a little bit of my dad like that(That is if my dad was a hipster wannabe).

Speaking of which, wasn't Cole originally married to another woman and have two kids? If so, do you think they ever see him anymore?

theobservdr said:
Personally I still would like David Lynch to do a movie about Chris ; my friends father knows him, as my friends father worked on Eraser Head.
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Personally, I think Tim Burton would be a better choice. A movie about someone like Chris could be right up his alley. Good god, who would he get to play Chris?
 
Anonimo said:
Personally, I think Tim Burton would be a better choice. A movie about someone like Chris could be right up his alley. Good god, who would he get to play Chris?
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If he sees anything of himself in Chris, Johnny Depp, otherwise Helena Bonham Carter.
 
Anonimo said:
Personally, I think Tim Burton would be a better choice. A movie about someone like Chris could be right up his alley. Good god, who would he get to play Chris?
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Considering that he's made nothing but shitty movies for the past decade (though I will admit my fondness for the source material will forever color my opinion of Sweeney Todd), Burton would be perfect. Can't wait to see how Danny Elfman ties in the children's choir.
 
I don't even know what to call Cole's disturbing psychological hang-up on yelling at old people who don't have the decency to die when he feels they should.

(Woody Allen) has chosen to spend his last days making easy — read lazy — movies. Woody Allen’s low-impact cinema allows for enticing performances from Emma Stone and Colin Firth even if their characters’ arcs are so minimal as to be entirely neglected. Nevertheless, the Riviera’s celebrated sunlight makes you feel like you’re on a mini-vacation. There isn’t much magic left in Woody’s moon, but the sun in the south of France has the final say.
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