The Cole Smithey Thread

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Dwight Frye said:
His sugar mommy left him apparently. He’s just like Chris in that he’ll never work or do anything to support himself when he can mooch off others so I have a feeling he’ll jump at the chance for free cash.
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i thought he scored himself a younger chic? At least, I thought I read that somewhere earlier in this thread.
 
Cat Hyde Boots said:
I doubt there is anything she owns that could even be passed onto her children.
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IIRC Chris bought her a $900 gold necklace, she might have some jewelry hidden in the hoard.

True Gunt Radio said:
Probably not, she'd have to have a lawyer write it, that could cost upwards of $200! Imagine all the garbage at goodwill that could buy.
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People write informal wills all the time but, I doubt Barb would do such a thing. Like the pharaohs of old I'm sure that bitch wold want to be buried with her precious precious trash, if she could. It probably kills her, the fact she's going to be cremated and can't take it all with her.
 
troon patrol said:
IIRC Chris bought her a $900 gold necklace, she might have some jewelry hidden in the hoard.


People write informal wills all the time but, I doubt Barb would do such a thing. Like the pharaohs of old I'm sure that bitch wold want to be buried with her precious precious trash, if she could. It probably kills her, the fact she's going to be cremated and can't take it all with her.
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IIRC there is an empty plot next to Bob. They got scammed into large funeral expenses by their local funeral home. Pretty typical for someone like Borb.
 
No Batty Boys in Jamaica said:
IIRC there is an empty plot next to Bob. They got scammed into large funeral expenses by their local funeral home. Pretty typical for someone like Borb.
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No they didn't, they have a slot in a columbarium with her name already carved on it. They could try upselling Chris but it would be a complete waste of time.
 
Cole Smithey's reviews - if you could even call them reviews, are terrible. The quality of his reviews have deteriorated faster than Chris' mental health. They are the equivalent of reading a fortune cookie. They contain no detail on any of the important plot points or acting. They simply contain his mostly unedited thoughts on American society. He often criticizes a film for being "pro-war" even if the film is anti-war. The most obvious example is the infamous Toy Story 3 review whereupon he claims the presence of toy soldiers is an endorsement of the War On Terror. In addition he claims the plot line of Dune is pro-war, even though the author Frank Herbert wrote it as an explicitly anti-war novel.

Let's go to a more recent review he's done. In his review of "Everything Everywhere All at Once", he calls it insufferable, overwrought, racist, stupid, not clever, muddled, propaganda, and clueless. He doesn't go in depth at all about how the film is all of the adjectives that he describes. He describes none of the plot, except that it includes several Lesbian main characters. Other than that, he includes a paragraph complaining about how EEAATO won many Oscar awards. I assume the only reason he gave it a negative review is because he wanted rage clicks after he saw that it won many Oscar awards, including best picture.

In one of his few positive reviews of a positively reviewed movie by other critics, "American Murderer", he gives a slightly more in-depth fortune cookie review. He says it's a "gritty true crime thriller that takes no prisoners." He compliments the casting positively. He states "Tom Pelphrey confirms his status as an actor of substance..." which provide a more detailed attributes he likes in actors. In addition he says "...but it delivers the goods with efficiency and style." He compliments the writing, sadly not in detail. This may be an odd film to mention the review of, but it's one of the few recent positive films he's given that other critics agree with, that isn't a political or an art film.

Smithey infamously has terrible tastes. He thinks Freddy Got Fingered is a subversive masterpiece, while at the same time hating Toy Story 3, comparing scenes in the film to the Holocaust. This is doubly humorous when you realize that Smithey thinks he's "The Smartest Film Critic In The World". A claim so laughable that even Roger Ebert mocked it. He uses and misuses the English language to make him seem more highbrow by using large and complex words, most of which he uses incorrectly. His old reviews of Freddy Got Fingered and Toy Story 3 would be considered gold if he wrote it in 2023. At this point, he clearly doesn't care. Reading his film reviews have been rather illuminating. It proves that Rotten Tomatoes doesn't care about the inherent quality of a review, but rather connections and political beliefs. Chris would ironically be a better film reviewer as he actually cares about most of the media he rants and raves about. This is only a cursory look at the surface, as reading the full Rotten Tomatoes page is akin to reading an out of touch hipster forced to be compulsively contrarian, and stroking his ever growing ego.
 
Jalal-Ibn-Jalal said:
This is only a cursory look at the surface, as reading the full Rotten Tomatoes page is akin to reading an out of touch hipster forced to be compulsively contrarian, and stroking his ever growing ego.
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Thank you for refreshing our memories. Even though Chris-Chan raped his own mom, his dipshit half-brother is even less of a human than he is, a drooling, pissbaby moron. There is nothing good about Cole Smithey, because he is an absolute faggot.
 
Jalal-Ibn-Jalal said:
Cole Smithey's reviews - if you could even call them reviews, are terrible. The quality of his reviews have deteriorated faster than Chris' mental health. They are the equivalent of reading a fortune cookie. They contain no detail on any of the important plot points or acting. They simply contain his mostly unedited thoughts on American society. He often criticizes a film for being "pro-war" even if the film is anti-war. The most obvious example is the infamous Toy Story 3 review whereupon he claims the presence of toy soldiers is an endorsement of the War On Terror. In addition he claims the plot line of Dune is pro-war, even though the author Frank Herbert wrote it as an explicitly anti-war novel.

Let's go to a more recent review he's done. In his review of "Everything Everywhere All at Once", he calls it insufferable, overwrought, racist, stupid, not clever, muddled, propaganda, and clueless. He doesn't go in depth at all about how the film is all of the adjectives that he describes. He describes none of the plot, except that it includes several Lesbian main characters. Other than that, he includes a paragraph complaining about how EEAATO won many Oscar awards. I assume the only reason he gave it a negative review is because he wanted rage clicks after he saw that it won many Oscar awards, including best picture.

In one of his few positive reviews of a positively reviewed movie by other critics, "American Murderer", he gives a slightly more in-depth fortune cookie review. He says it's a "gritty true crime thriller that takes no prisoners." He compliments the casting positively. He states "Tom Pelphrey confirms his status as an actor of substance..." which provide a more detailed attributes he likes in actors. In addition he says "...but it delivers the goods with efficiency and style." He compliments the writing, sadly not in detail. This may be an odd film to mention the review of, but it's one of the few recent positive films he's given that other critics agree with, that isn't a political or an art film.

Smithey infamously has terrible tastes. He thinks Freddy Got Fingered is a subversive masterpiece, while at the same time hating Toy Story 3, comparing scenes in the film to the Holocaust. This is doubly humorous when you realize that Smithey thinks he's "The Smartest Film Critic In The World". A claim so laughable that even Roger Ebert mocked it. He uses and misuses the English language to make him seem more highbrow by using large and complex words, most of which he uses incorrectly. His old reviews of Freddy Got Fingered and Toy Story 3 would be considered gold if he wrote it in 2023. At this point, he clearly doesn't care. Reading his film reviews have been rather illuminating. It proves that Rotten Tomatoes doesn't care about the inherent quality of a review, but rather connections and political beliefs. Chris would ironically be a better film reviewer as he actually cares about most of the media he rants and raves about. This is only a cursory look at the surface, as reading the full Rotten Tomatoes page is akin to reading an out of touch hipster forced to be compulsively contrarian, and stroking his ever growing ego.
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COUNTERPOINT: Cole has swag, he's a pimp, and you're jealous.
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