- Joined
- Dec 12, 2022
TF2 Slopporium
Established in 2010, the TF2 Emporium is a longstanding cabal of Team Fortress 2 Workshop creators both old and new that's been controlling the majority of community-created content added into it's slowly dying body for the last decade and a half. While innocent and inconspicuous in the beginning, within the last few years they've been ousted as a hugbox of terminally online faggots owning the chuds through the means of pissing on the game's established art style and even gameplay in the name of pure greed and personal agendas under the guise of multi-billion dollar gaming giant Valve without a care in the world for it and the community; profiting by the tens of thousands while under alleged criminal activity that if revealed could sever Valve's business relationship with the TF2 Workshop after 13 years and an unfathomable amount of community content updates later.
Exhibit A (Man-made Horrors)
Exhibit B (Terminally Online Insanity)
Politisperging in a server about TF2 content creation. Classic nu-TF2 community moment.
Troons: Wishing violence on true & honest women since 2014™
Retarded Faggot - 1 Week Ban
Chud - 1 Day Ban
Chudlings stay winning.
"Literally chuds organizing whole defamation campaigns lol."
"License that bad boy from textures.com and go on my way."
"and if people shit on it because 'standards' then oh well"
"I think the most important lesson these chuds need to learn is that I, as a workshop creator, do not make things for them. I make them for myself, and to make money."
Pictured: Arghbeef
Exhibit C (TF2 Emporium Incidents)
Invasion of the Greedy Fucks Update
On September 17, 2015 a month before the release of the last community-created TF2 update Invasion, behind-the-scenes drama (A) of said update would leak showcasing a disheveled team angry at project leaders Ronin and BANG! over disparaging pay percentages and a delay of the update that was supposed to release that same day due to them not finishing their required work in time.
How much were these two planning on taking at release you ask? A combined total of 54% over the 65 people tied to the project (mind you they didn't do nearly as much of the brunt work for the update as the rest).
Following this, local lolcow and Valve dickrider Tyler McVicker would release a video on his then branded Valve News Network / VNN channel detailing the drama, of which according to him both Ronin and BANG! then proceeded to threaten to sue him over the video leading to it's deletion.
A few weeks later the update would be delayed yet again on October 1, 2015 due to the pay percentage infighting in an email sent to all update contributors by lead TF2 janny Eric Smith that detailed the now permanently changed method of revenue sharing amongst TF2 Workshop creators that get their submissions accepted.
5 days later the Invasion update would finally release on October 6, 2015 after weeks of bullshit (...to mixed reception, kek).
Today over 9 years later, it's been speculated and more than likely that Invasion and it's resulting behind-the-scenes drama was responsible for the end of community-created updates as we know it, making it the last ever published by Valve and leaving nu-TF2 to the basic seasonal slop updates we get in the dreaded post-Blue Moon era of TF2 (many thanks, retards).
Drew and Metabolic Gay Doxing Spectacular
On August 16, 2018 a TF2 Workshopper named Vipes would post a thread on r/tf2 exposing two members of the TF2 Emporium aliased D and M (later revealed as Drew and Metabolic) that were slandering (A), doxing, harassing, and even stalking said user alongside multiple other victims (A) apart of the TF2 Emporium; of which got so bad it ultimately lead to Vipes becoming homeless (A) in 2017 for a time as a result of their a-logging.
On August 8, 2018, 8 days before the Reddit post exposing Drew and Metabolic was made, they would finally get banned from both the TF2 Emporium and TF2Maps after nearly two years of their harassment campaign against Vipes plus other members of the TF2 Emporium (and endless defense beforehand).
Only took a few years, lmao.
...for a short time. Several years later controversial TF2 naysayer Zesty Jesus would confront the TF2 Emporium Twitter account about this in 2022, revealing that they were brought back into the cabal after a period of time, still collaborating on TF2 Workshop submissions with fellow members to this day while getting more cosmetics added into the game (and as a result more money), and still attacking people within the TF2 Workshop and wider nu-TF2 community.
The cherry on top of this is that several months before Zesty exposed the fact that Drew and Metabolic had been unbanned in the TF2 Emporium, they went one step further beyond and blackmailed a TF2C developer named Captain Kibbleknight by grabbing personal files of theirs using a backdoor exploit of the Source SDK 2023 build the TF2C team was using at the time to have him booted.
Sparcdoctor Grooming Implosion Boogaloo
At the beginning of August 2024, banned member of the TF2 Emporium Sparcdoctor was accused of grooming minors for underage photos. Square, notable longtime member and Discord janny was notified of this leading to a public announcement of the
The TF2 Emporium would erupt into chaos as various members connected to Sparcdoctor proceeded to shit on Square for announcing the allegations without any evidence or a deeper investigation into the situation leading to several jannies including Square himself and chief janny NeoDement [discussed later] stepping down as the server's do-it-for-free'ers, while everyone else was freaking out over the situation. The Discord server would end up going into lockdown mode as select members (including some old heads) would leave the cabal during the debacle.
"False allegations? Dump them."
Notable Sloppy Members
Jennifer Burnett / NeoDement
Jennifer Burnett / NeoDement is the oldest, largest and most influential member of the TF2 Emporium with nearly 150 accepted submissions in the game dating back to 2010, having made staples such as the Scotsman's Skullcutter melee weapon for Demoman. He was formerly the head janny for the Discord up until the Sparcdoctor Grooming Implosion Boogaloo.
Much of what is know about NeoDement comes from an obscure video uploaded 10 years ago, where it's revealed he's a cackling Gothic Tumblrite angloid troon (dear god); which is about as hilariously stereotypical as a troon can be.
Twitter | Archive
GitHub | Archive
Steam | Archive
Steam Group | Archive
Much of what is know about NeoDement comes from an obscure video uploaded 10 years ago, where it's revealed he's a cackling Gothic Tumblrite angloid troon (dear god); which is about as hilariously stereotypical as a troon can be.
Website
neodem.net | ArchiveSocial Media
YouTube | ArchiveTwitter | Archive
GitHub | Archive
Steam | Archive
Steam Group | Archive
Liam Moffitt / Diva Dan
Liam Moffitt / Diva Dan is another major contributor with over 45+ accepted submissions and a newer member who emerged in 2017, having made a significant portion of the maps added to TF2 post-JI. He's also a major Rust (game, not troon programming language) contributor with over 100+ accepted submissions in the game.
Diva Dan is as he describes himself a "24 yr old pan dude :-)" (translation: faggot who will take anything up the ass) and a furfag whose passtime (oh my Chungus a TF2 reference) is to sperg out on Twitter at those in the nu-TF2 community that shit on his terrible maps and his TF2 Emporium friends' creations along with other instances of mental retardation.
>"shit map"
>fucking dies
Outing himself as a literal troon chaser.
Aged like fine milk.
Tumblr | Archive
Steam | Archive
Artstation | Archive
TF2Maps
Diva Dan is as he describes himself a "24 yr old pan dude :-)" (translation: faggot who will take anything up the ass) and a furfag whose passtime (oh my Chungus a TF2 reference) is to sperg out on Twitter at those in the nu-TF2 community that shit on his terrible maps and his TF2 Emporium friends' creations along with other instances of mental retardation.
>"shit map"
>fucking dies
Outing himself as a literal troon chaser.
Aged like fine milk.
Social Media
Twitter | ArchiveTumblr | Archive
Steam | Archive
Artstation | Archive
TF2Maps
This private information is unavailable to guests due to policies enforced by third-parties.
None, lol.
ZJDS (Zesty Jesus Derangement Syndrome)
Joshua Edgington / Zesty Jesus is a longtime TF2 player and controversial figurehead who's been heavily critical of the TF2 Emporium and the quality of the content added to the game within the last several years. On January 22, 2022 Zesty would publish a video discussing the abhorrent state of the TF2 Workslop after the release of the infamous Smissmas 2021 update, referencing the TF2 Emporium in it. This video would single-handedly lay all of the TF2 Emporium's eyes on Zesty and subsequently buck break them over the coming years as they would let him live completely rent free in their AGP rotten brains, slandering him on numerous occasions and attempting to cancel him while endlessly shit talking him behind their closed Discord server (of which they banned him from in 2021, mind you).
okay
"The only people actively giving a shit about this game's lifespan."
*If Zesty ever wanted to have a civil conversation with me I will being a lying spastic retard.
"We totally heckin' care about TF2 guyz!!!"
>get doxed and harassed by nu-TF2 troons
>shed a tear over it
>get turned into a shitty Discord meme
>mfw
*Dogshit unfitting item = Good, actually; because it makes the person I dislike seethe
Pictured: Zesty living rent free in the TF2 Emporium's head
The TF2 Emporium hates Zesty so much in fact that they've deliberately gone out of their way to shove pozzed "easter eggs" (as they describe it) into their submissions to spite him.
Example 1
"Tran S. Wright" door nameplate in Turbine Center by Stuffy360 (added Smissmas 2023, unchanged)
Example 2
Tranny / Bisexual flags hidden behind badge styles of Desk Enginner cosmetic by wurlmon (added Summer 2024, removed)
Example 3
Spinning pride flag hidden inside a tree in Hacksaw by Diva Dan (added Smissmas 2023, retroactively patched-in Summer 2024; unchanged)
Zesty would have an interview with a schizo TF2 Emporium member by the name of OverlordLettuce on stream (1:14:34-2:32:24) on December 10, 2023 after members of the TF2 Emporium attempted to cancel him again for dubious reasons which would led to one of the most hilarious yet disturbing revelations:
Since the TF2 Emporium started targeting Zesty, he's claimed to have received insider knowledge on the group via anonymous TF2 Workshoppers and plans at some point in the future to put together a TRVTH NVKE as perhaps his final major TF2 video project; hopefully putting an end to their retarded faggot shenanigans once and for all.
Conclusion
Credit to @Shoresy, @piombo, and @Stone Enjoyer for assisting in the creation of this OP.
TF2 Emporium Social Media
Bluesky (kek x1) | ArchiveSteam Group | Archive
Tumblr (kek x2) | Archive
Twitter (kek x3) | Archive
Discord Server
Check out the Team Fortress 2 Community Thread
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