- Joined
- Aug 8, 2021
TALIBAN TWITTER, MASHALLAH
While the Taliban have dominated the Afghani cultural sphere ever since the conclusion of the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan, their presence on the internet has been less than impressive, owing to the fact that the majority of its members consist of unshaven goat herders who live in caves without electricty or running water. This was until the beginning of 2021, when the Taliban began their counter-offensive into the Afghani heartland, capturing town after town until were finally able to capture a city with an internet server to shitpost on. Ever since then, the Taliban have embarked on a mad race to outshitpost the vast horde of corporate shills and celebrity z-listers on Twitter to boost their brand recognition in the rest of the world.
The biggest stars of Taliban Twitter include:
MANSOOR AFGHAN: THE HEAD OF THE HYDRA
At the centre of the Twitter Taliban community lies Mansoor Afghan, ringmaster and straight-man of the Tali-circus. Seemingly the sole Talib concerned more with professionalism than consumer relatability, Afghan acts as the nexus point bridging every wannabe-salafi on the site.
While his contemporaries have been busy shitposting, Mansoor was studying the blade of geopolitics, and, unlike the rest of Taliban Twitter, is able to act as a representative of his cause without acting like a chimp.
Although, he does have his moments
Mansoor understands the fundamentals of PR, and does a fairly decent attempt of running a propaganda account, and while he might be an exceptional example of profession, he is but a lone island in a sea of autism.
This private information is unavailable to guests due to policies enforced by third-parties.
Mansoor Afghan on Twitter: "له افغانستانه زرګونه امریکايي عسکر د پاکس…
archived 3 Sep 2021 09:07:20 UTC
Mansoor Afghan on Twitter: "git out off afganistan git out off afghan…
archived 3 Sep 2021 09:04:06 UTC
Mansoor Afghan on Twitter: "جمهورریس بایدن نن وویل په امریکا کي هره و…
archived 3 Sep 2021 08:58:23 UTC
Mansoor Afghan on Twitter: "We have been subjected to war. Praise be …
archived 3 Sep 2021 08:53:44 UTC
QASER BAKHALY: A GLORIFIED HONORABLE MENTION
Qaser Bakhaly is another unoriginal, run-of-the-mill Taliban shill attempting to replicate the style and success of more well-known Taliban shills. What saves Qaser from total obscurity is the fact that his content recieves a considerable amount of user-engagement and retweets.
Bakhaly's content may be low-effort, but he is self-aware enough of this fact to limit his online faggotry to minimum. The same cannot be said of the following individuals.
This private information is unavailable to guests due to policies enforced by third-parties.
قاصر بښلی / Qaser bakhaly on Twitter: "https://t.co/nONIdbCiOT" / Twi…
archived 31 Aug 2021 21:28:32 UTC
قاصر بښلی / Qaser bakhaly on Twitter: "😄 https://t.co/cW0FwRuH72" / …
archived 3 Sep 2021 09:18:57 UTC
قاصر بښلی / Qaser bakhaly on Twitter: "Made in afghanistan https://t.…
archived 3 Sep 2021 09:20:50 UTC
RANAMMED AL-BASSAD, THE UWU CATBOY OF AL-ANDALUS
Ranammed represents the Spanish-speaking side of Taliban Twitter, and provides an inclusive, safe space for his latinx islamistx audiencex. Ranammed is about as much of a Fuentes-brainwashed zoomer as you might expect, who reposts degenerate content that the Taliban wouldn't expect.
Judging by his post history, one can expect Ranammed to be of white convert persuasion, although it is just as likely that he is of Algerian stock, which would certainly make sense owing to the effeminate way he uses the platform.
Ranammed is your average Islamist tryhard looking to get on the radar of his idols. His posts alternate between generic Taliban praise and his usual femboy self-wanking. For all his fargirling over one of the most repressive regimes in the world, Ranammed seems to not understand that his soft, urbanite ass would be the first to go under Islamist rule.
Ranammed's Taliban simping
Ranammed's bacha bazzi audition requests
This strategy seemingly worked in getting the attention of Mansoor, who was eager to
Ranammed is also a verified simp who lusts after low-quality internet pussy that he has absolutely no chance of ever getting, and constantly fantasizes about finding a nice zoomer e-girl to bear his spawn.
This private information is unavailable to guests due to policies enforced by third-parties.
Ranammed Al-Bassad 🇪🇦🤝🇩🇿 on Twitter: "@eslavita2 https://t.co/5L…
archived 4 Sep 2021 05:29:10 UTC
Ranammed Al-Bassad 🇪🇦🤝🇩🇿 on Twitter: "@playamedusas @MissCoutcho…
archived 4 Sep 2021 05:28:59 UTC
Siete on Twitter: "@razika_matcho @panamach2 😭" / Twitter
archived 4 Sep 2021 05:28:47 UTC
Ranammed Al-Bassad 🇪🇦🤝🇩🇿 on Twitter: "@rro_goregeous https://t.c…
archived 4 Sep 2021 05:28:36 UTC
Ranammed Al-Bassad 🇪🇦🤝🇩🇿 on Twitter: "Buenos días a todos y en e…
archived 4 Sep 2021 05:27:58 UTC
Ranammed Al-Bassad 🇪🇦🤝🇩🇿 on Twitter: "Lo de Afganistán suele enf…
archived 4 Sep 2021 05:27:38 UTC
Ranammed Al-Bassad 🇪🇦🤝🇩🇿 on Twitter: "A little #LifeHack for whe…
archived 4 Sep 2021 05:27:16 UTC
Ranammed Al-Bassad 🇪🇦🤝🇩🇿 on Twitter: "Los talibanes ahora ofrece…
archived 4 Sep 2021 05:26:49 UTC
Ranammed Al-Bassad 🇪🇦🤝🇩🇿 on Twitter: "Un afgano en la radio cata…
archived 4 Sep 2021 05:26:25 UTC
Ranammed Al-Bassad 🇪🇦🤝🇩🇿 on Twitter: "Buenos días! #FelizMiercol…
archived 4 Sep 2021 05:23:53 UTC
Ranammed Al-Bassad 🇪🇦🤝🇩🇿 on Twitter: "POV: You wake up being mar…
archived 4 Sep 2021 05:19:29 UTC
Ranammed Al-Bassad 🇪🇦🤝🇩🇿 on Twitter: "https://t.co/7oFkB6Fm5o" /…
archived 4 Sep 2021 05:00:34 UTC
MALANG KHOSTAY: SNEED BE UPON HIM
And finally, we arrive at Malang Khostay, the true star of the show and the meat of this thread. Malang is a Pashtun freedom fighter and low-effort shitposter who serves as the unofficial PR of the Taliban. His first account was created on the 12th of July 2021, but was banned almost immediately for being a bad boy
While Malang became active on Twitter on 12 July, it was not until the 20th of August 2021 when he came into prominence by getting deez nutsed by an arab marxist account of all people.
Since then, our little Talib decided that he has something to prove to make up for this blunder and has gone about on a meme jihad to make the Taliban look cool and grungy in the eyes of today's youth.
Besides making epic dank memes, Malang does the usual salafi sperging, and maintains the academic dishonesty you'd expect out of any journo.
Malang also has a lot to say about society
Also, like with any shitskin, he makes no sense whatsoever with his broke ass english.
Malang seems to have not learned from his previous twitter ban and has gone on to post a few gore and execution videos directly to the site, instead of linking to a separate archiaval site. While this request is too complicated to expect from our pashto goatfriend, and while these videos relate to the Taliban, Malang is unaware how precariously he is treading the twitter guidelines by sharing pre-teen gorebait to garner sympathy from westerners and his opponents in Afghanistan alike.
Malang also has the same taste in world leaders as your average 14 year-old tankie, and it really makes you wonder whether these takes are his true thoughts, a piss-poor attempt at optics or mandatory party obligation forced onto him by his superiors.
Our boy, Malang, has garnered a lot of traction from Poa.st tards who have attempted to reach out to him to get him on their site, fully aware of the repercussions of harbouring a known Taliban fighter on their board.
Malang, expectedly, did not give a single shit and left these tards on read
Malang runs a YouTube channel, which he uses to document daily life in Afghanistan under Taliban rule and engage in dishonest guerilla marketting to garner sympathy from westerners and his opponents within the country. While his motives for these propagandic overtures makes sense, considering his isolated position on the world stage, his efforts are mostly fruitless and retarded given the fact that the crux of the Taliban movement was built on the complete rejection of liberal democracy and the freedom to act beyond progressive trends and dialects that govern western politicking. Nevertheless, Malang succeeds in humanizing his organization and making their rule more appealing to thin-wristed Americans who have never had to suffer a day in their lives
As the sole veteran internet dweller of the Taliban forces, Malang has had several facebook accounts in the past, wherein he includes his full dox for the entire world to gaze upon. Perhaps he was lucky that American troops didn't use his shitty opsec to smoke him out before the 15th of August 2021, as he was very active in promoting Taliban propaganda prior to that date.
His facebook posts are... well... eccentric to say the least.
Malang has a Telegram server, although not much information can be drawn from our primary source as of right now.
He also hates jannies.
As a result of his online presense, Malang has gained a following of weens and low effort trolls who are singleminded in their goal of one-upping the "deez nuts" guy and epically tr0lling the Taliban, and seemingly can't come up with anything original to say outside of unfunny overused reddit memes. The fact that these losers are getting out-shitposted by the literal Taliban should say something about our society
.His white knights are honestly worse.
As expected, Malang has been actively interacting with his weens and answering their gay ass questions in his broken English. Despite obviously not understanding what the fuck is going on, Malang tries his best to be as helpful and relatable to the youngsters, sharing useful life advice and tips.
Malang's Twitter antics don't end at mere memes and shitposts. Since our little Islamist friend is terminally online, it can be easy to forget that he is, indeed, a trained guerilla fighter and a probable terrorist, who is quite good with his hands and has some degree of experience in bomb-making. Therefore, it can be assumed that Malang has decent knowledge of simple repairs, tinkering and other basic skills that would make the average sheltered zoomer piss his pants in frustration.
Here is Malang showing us how to build a ghetto speaker:
As with any able-bodied young man his age, Malang is under a considerable amount of pressure from his society to find an attractive, young woman to do mutah with. Unfortunately, women in his country are all brick-headed, promiscuous, dumb whores corrupted by the decadent lies of the Zionist west. Sigh. What is a traditional, educated, manly, cultured Talib such as Malang going to do?
This private information is unavailable to guests due to policies enforced by third-parties.
Malang on Twitter: ""Look at the American with his fancy Zionist lies…
archived 27 Aug 2021 18:34:30 UTC
Malang on Twitter: ""Did you know feminism causes rape? Scientific st…
archived 28 Aug 2021 05:44:05 UTC
Malang on Twitter: "The Second video 💔😭💔😭 https://t.co/VFl1O901Xj…
archived 28 Aug 2021 07:30:30 UTC
Malang on Twitter: "Thats their todays Work 💔😭💔😭 https://t.co/BLt…
archived 28 Aug 2021 07:28:30 UTC
Malang on Twitter: "That buckets of oil whwn before we were making in…
archived 29 Aug 2021 05:39:09 UTC
And many, many more!
Last edited:
