Tabletop Roleplaying Games (D&D, Pathfinder, CoC, ETC.)

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But the people pushing for "wheelchair accessible" dungeons don't think the solutions are interesting. They think the disability is the interesting part of the character. They have fetishized this shit so hard they don't want to think of ways to overcome it. They just want to have their cake ("I'm playing a cripple!") and eat it too ("I want to face no consequences for that choice!"). They don't even want to tailor their solutions to the world around them, and instead just try to directly transpose things from the real world into the fantasy of the world all the while completely ignoring the possibilities offered by the world itself.

this reminds me of ESO where they put a disabled npc front and center where pretty much everyone will see it (since you can get pretty much guarantee anyone who bought the expansion is gonna learn antiquities).
of course she's quirky and eccentric. of course she built designed it herself. of course she was marginalized growing up because high elves are pricks in general.

in her defense it's just a side npc and she's a researcher, so it's not a retarded combat wheelchair but mainly a useful tool, that part at least makes sense. what doesn't however is when I looked around out of curiosity to see how serious they were with it - and of course every entry into the house has stairs. ok, you don't see many toilets and people shitting/fucking/whatever either, so they might have just glossed over that, but if you go out of your way to put that npc right in my face (which, before fucking current year I'd have probably liked as a nice addition and leave it at that), don't half ass it. my impression is someone just came up with "hey, what if put someone in a wheelchair somewhere?", without much rhyme or reason what it actually fucking entails to be disabled.

and that's probably my biggest gripe with the whole progressive dreck, even if I don't care about it I'm still collateral in their whole push. I don't want to have to ponder why and how they put someone in a wheelchair somewhere, all this "elevating" and "giving voice" is done to a degree it drowns everything else out. even a fucking child knows if you overdo it you'll get fucking sick of it, no matter how much you like cake.
 
and is absorbed if you wild shape or polymorph.
Not in my imagination!
img_animal_wolf_Mariah-Earthfire-Institute.jpg
 
My bad. Shadowrun gets a pass. You're good.


Technically, a rolling boulder trap is wheelchair-accessible!

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Our DM threw a rolling boulder trap at us last week and not only did we all feel stupid for not looking UP when we entered a smooth inclined corridor, we felt super stupid when, after 4 rounds of initiative during which in our blind panic we stumbled into a very real pit trap the boulder rolled right through us because it was a god damned illusion.
 
Our DM threw a rolling boulder trap at us last week and not only did we all feel stupid for not looking UP when we entered a smooth inclined corridor, we felt super stupid when, after 4 rounds of initiative during which in our blind panic we stumbled into a very real pit trap the boulder rolled right through us because it was a god damned illusion.
That's an idea.

The players enter a dungeon full of illusionary traps and monsters, find out it's a long gone "Design-a-Dungeon" advertisement gallery that sold traps and caged monsters for use.
 
Our DM threw a rolling boulder trap at us last week and not only did we all feel stupid for not looking UP when we entered a smooth inclined corridor, we felt super stupid when, after 4 rounds of initiative during which in our blind panic we stumbled into a very real pit trap the boulder rolled right through us because it was a god damned illusion.
Sounds like something from Grimtooth's traps. I love those books.
 
The best traps are the ones that aren't traps. Like faulty doors that have been rusting away for years. Floors that give way with age live wires above water. various natural gases in dungeons. Sinkholes. Rising tides which can affect a cavern/ dungeon and moving rocks or logs around around. Natural "traps" can't be found with abilities like trapsense.
 
They leave out that the combat wheelchair item is an obscenely broken item.

Being the 'proud' recipient of a Combat Wheelchair makes you proficient in tinker's tools. The chair weighs 25 lbs (despite being built in a preindustrial society, even with magic). Any rolls or checks made with the wheelchair can be done with either Strength or Dexterity. It counts as 'you' when casting a spell, and is absorbed if you wild shape or polymorph. It has slanted wheels for easy travel over coastal, grassland, forest, and mountain terrain. It can be self-propelled using its 'beacon stones' (which means it's not really a wheelchair as much as it is a mobility scooter ffs...) and can levitate up and down staircases (?!).

You have three new attacks while riding the Wheelchair: tire strikes (deal 1d6+Strength or Dexterity damage), ramming (same damage), or crushing (only vs prone targets, deals 1d8+Strength/Dexterity damage).

Where things go completely off the fucking rails is how durable it is. It can withstand three (?!?) critical hits before needing repairs, and can take nine before being broken. Critical hits. Not simple, standard attacks.

Oh, and it costs 200gp.
I will never understand how they think they actually "include" someone, when they only pay lip service to a very limited perception of the attributes of said someone and change them so much that it is in no way applicable to this "included" group.

It's like "including" blind people into your game but giving them magic eyesight (that's more powerful and useful than regular eyesight).

"You're blind, but you're able to see better than anyone else."
"You're a cripple in a wheelchair, but you are more mobile than anyone else."
"You're deaf, but your hearing is stronger than anyone esle's."
"You're quadriplegic, but you're more nimble and strong than anyone else."

It's not even just reducing something as severe as a disability to a mere label, it's less than that.
 
I had a player run a cleric with a speed penalty and carry penalty due to a bad back and being obese.

Sure, it slowed the party down, and the player mentioned that his character was huffing and puffing along, but he'd traded the speed and carry penalty into a Wisdom bonus for spellcasting and turning only and it was a lot of fun.

The whole wheelchair thing though, that was just embarrassing.
That’s something I like about the Mutants and Masterminds RPG. Taking disadvantages allows a player to take more powers at a cost. It also fits into the super hero or villain theme.
 
The best traps are the ones that aren't traps. Like faulty doors that have been rusting away for years. Floors that give way with age live wires above water. various natural gases in dungeons. Sinkholes. Rising tides which can affect a cavern/ dungeon and moving rocks or logs around around. Natural "traps" can't be found with abilities like trapsense.
Our DM play tested a 'candy factory' module he was writing with us a few months back. He had tanks of special sweets which, taken in small doses imbue fun little effects on the consumer, like being able to jump higher for a minute or have joke effects like sticking teeth together for a short while. In this case however the factory had been sabotaged and the machines were running amok meaning my Dwarven Cleric spent half the encounter bouncing around the ceiling like an angry balloon, stuck to the floor and asleep. It was a session of utter chaos, entirely unpredictable and without any logic to it. Brilliant fun.
 
Our DM play tested a 'candy factory' module he was writing with us a few months back. He had tanks of special sweets which, taken in small doses imbue fun little effects on the consumer, like being able to jump higher for a minute or have joke effects like sticking teeth together for a short while. In this case however the factory had been sabotaged and the machines were running amok meaning my Dwarven Cleric spent half the encounter bouncing around the ceiling like an angry balloon, stuck to the floor and asleep. It was a session of utter chaos, entirely unpredictable and without any logic to it. Brilliant fun.
Sounds like you infiltrated Willy Wonka's place.
 
Sounds like you infiltrated Willy Wonka's place.
Yeah if Willy Wonka was a straight up psychopath. The worst bit was there was nothing we could really attack. Arrows and sword blows just bounced off the tanks and breaking the equipment just caused more of the stuff to flow out. Our mage got hit with a gob stopper that was very literal, when it hit her (it should be mentioned all these sweets were in liquid form at this stage) it silenced her. The DM in question is a very talented and imaginative guy who's ideas about D&D are locked in the insane 80's and early 90's so it's all stuffed with anachronisms and ridiculous and contrived situations but for all of it, not taking it seriously is just a million times more fun than stuffy high fantasy.
 
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