Super Secret Reehouse - Don't tell the grown ups

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tripmix said:
Can you see if they can recover the photos of Stacy Keibler I tried uploading to their servers? I managed to get it onto a USB drive but I think someone stole it :(
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Was that a USB stick? I thought it was a vape pen that didn't work. I threw it away. Sorry.
 
Since everyone was distracted using the halloween thread last night I swapped board game top shop with garfield kart. But don't tell sparkles guys its a secret.

Also I need to see your bingo cards if you want the empty can of dr. pepper and empty bag of popcorn.

.....I got hungry.
 
tripmix said:
Since everyone was distracted using the halloween thread last night I swapped board game top shop with garfield kart. But don't tell sparkles guys its a secret.

Also I need to see your bingo cards if you want the empty can of dr. pepper and empty bag of popcorn.

.....I got hungry.
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I KNEW IT WAS YOU, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!!
 
DEBRIEFING

OPERATION PINOY PREDICAMENT​

Primary Objectives:
Cause the target stress through messing up his DoorDash order - COMPLETE!
Deliver new orders to Agent Jasper - COMPLETE!

Secondary Objectives:
Overcook parts of his meals - COMPLETE! 200 bonus points awarded!
Leave the bone on the meat - COMPLETE! 150 bonus points awarded!
Force the target to slice the meat - COMPLETE! 150 bonus points awarded!
Make the delivery late so his food arrives cold - COMPLETE! 300 bonus points awarded!
Cause the target to go on an unhinged rant - COMPLETE! 500 bonus points awarded!

Bonus:
Perfect stealth - 100 bonus points awarded!
Goldust gathered - 351 251 bonus points awarded!

SCORE: 1651
FINAL RANK: SSS+++​


Mission complete and how! They're gonna tell stories about this one, Boss!
Big ups to the detractors who infiltrated the restaurant as chefs and left the meat unsliced and attached to the bone on purpose. That has caused the target much unnecessary stress and challenge. Also big ups to the detractor who intercepted the delivery and delivered to other people before Phil on purpose so that he gets his food cold, that caused additional sanity damage which the target will attempt to fix with gin. Nuggies and cartons of choccy milk will be given to all participants as a reward for great service.
 
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tripmix said:
Also who's playing with that mail order weather machine and making it snow outside Phils? We need ice for ice skating guys not snow.
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I think my attempts at building a time machine are interfering with it, sorry. Fucking space-time continuum is wonky, and now there's a neandarthal in my backyard using my grill as a house. That, or a crazy hobo with a serious forehead.
 
TheGoutburglar said:
I think my attempts at building a time machine are interfering with it, sorry. Fucking space-time continuum is wonky, and now there's a neandarthal in my backyard using my grill as a house. That, or a crazy hobo with a serious forehead.
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Its working too well. Phil's not able to get doordash. We don't want to starve him or Jasper.

Especially Jasper, so tone down your experiments for the good of the kitty.
 
TheGoutburglar said:
I think my attempts at building a time machine are interfering with it, sorry. Fucking space-time continuum is wonky, and now there's a neandarthal in my backyard using my grill as a house. That, or a crazy hobo with a serious forehead.
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According to my SpongeBob tarot deck the timeline we are in Phil is going to die at 47 from undiagnosed Prostate cancer.
He never makes the appointment out of fear he finds out he likes boys doing butt stuff to him because he is so deeply closeted, and due to his erectile dysfunction and shame over 'The Incident' he never cleans out the pipes and things just fester in there until he dies.

I did a reading for him and I got Bikini Bottom in the 4th position crossed by Squidward reversed in the 6th.
Literally the old starfish is going to cause him painful problems while he ignores it and pretends nothing is wrong until he dies from it.
 
Ana De Armas said:
Its working too well. Phil's not able to get doordash. We don't want to starve him or Jasper.

Especially Jasper, so tone down your experiments for the good of the kitty.
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I figured out the problem, shouldn't be any issues from my machine anymore. Can't promise about that satellite I spotted with the SoK emblem on the side, though. Didn't like the look of that thing.
Prince Lotor said:
According to my SpongeBob tarot deck the timeline we are in Phil is going to die at 47 from undiagnosed Prostate cancer.
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Yeah, I think I already fucked that up. Of course, I'm assuming tarot readings only reveal events, if they can actually set them in stone once read, we're fine. Been two days since my machine was activated, so presumably anything read yesterday still stands.

Of course, the reason I'm building the thing is as a last resort against the apocalypse, just in case Phil happens to trigger one. Shows how desperate I am, to be risking causing it myself in the process. But better me than the pigroach, eh?
 
Big ups to our sleeper agents in the Renton Garbage Collectors' Union who pushed for a labor dispute with the company that services Phil's area and backed up a month's worth of trash in his garage.
 
Burl McMillan said:
Big ups to our sleeper agents in the Renton Garbage Collectors' Union who pushed for a labor dispute with the company that services Phil's area and backed up a month's worth of trash in his garage.
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As a hidden agent that hides out in the pig-garage, I can confirm the musty smell of ammonia and feces is pretty terrible. The union better get off their ass, or else I'll have to abandon post. This is utterly disgusting. And, I haven't been in the khando in several weeks, so I can only imagine what THAT must smell like.
 
I have just tranquilized Kat as she was hunched over on all fours besides a river trying to catch salmon for Phil's dinner.

Edit: On closer inspection this is actually a fully grown bear and not Phil's wife. Sorry for the false alarm.
 
As an incredibly booksmart but not streetsmart person I have a job working at Youtube.

Me and the guys decided to stall the launch of gifted memberships until the 21st fell on a Saturday so Phil's viewers spend all of their money on gifted subs instead of tipping him. With any luck the delay in weekend payment processing and Phil's lack of tips will lead to him having no money for his day off next week. Instead of going out to eat he's going to have to stay home and eat a Lunchmeat Sandwich.
 
Gotta Groom Em All said:
I’m gonna get a job delivering food for DoorDash in Renton but I’m only going to work Tuesday late afternoons.
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If Phil is reading this he will be super paranoid about using DoorDash now. I can see the next preshit podcast where he explains that trolls have sabotage his DoorDash and that now they cannot eat or do Feasting with the Pigroach so they need to step up and give him more money to get air dropped meals from the military. Honestly, I am surprised a troll hasn't done this yet.
I might just work for Amazon delivery in Renton to see what he gets. Time to execute Wolf In Amazon Sheepskin.
 
DukeMorty said:
If Phil is reading this he will be super paranoid about using DoorDash now. I can see the next preshit podcast where he explains that trolls have sabotage his DoorDash and that now they cannot eat or do Feasting with the Pigroach so they need to step up and give him more money to get air dropped meals from the military. Honestly, I am surprised a troll hasn't done this yet.
I might just work for Amazon delivery in Renton to see what he gets. Time to execute Wolf In Amazon Sheepskin.
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Oh, it’s confirmed he reads here every night between swigs of gin. He also spends the majority of his day off lurking here between WWE Champions pulls. There is no “if.”

He’ll think he’s outsmarted me by ordering from Grubhub, but I’m already ten steps ahead of him and signed up to work for every delivery service we have here. Uber Eats, Postmates, all of them. I’ll be watching like a hawk for his address to pop up in the queue.

Phil, when I inevitably have the honor of delivering some greasy sugar chicken to the gout fortress, I won’t be rude. I’m not actually a dick IRL so I won’t tamper with your food or anything. I won’t record it or even document my experience on KF. I will simply smile, give you your bag, and wish you a nice rest of your day before disappearing like a ghost. You’ll never know it was me.
 
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