I can't be a wife or mother. I can only cry about not having a partner. I don't see how it's bad to drop in here and update every now and then. I don't understand how I am "giving into demons" by living my life, improving myself, working full-time and occasionally commenting on this thread.
I am saying this as someone who is uninterested in you and your life, other than as how it intersected with Styx, whose content I used to enjoy. I honestly hope that you are improving your life.
I don't know how much you have looked around Kiwi Farms, but, if you have spare time, I would recommend visiting the thread for Melinda Scott (the Mountain Jew). A quick introduction of her story is that Dear Leader contacted her to advise of some negative things being said about her, as a sort of "friendly advisory". She turned around and filed a lawsuit against Null. People began digging into her life and her eccentricities and she became a rather infamous lolcow here. She began posting here and her interactions weren't too dissimilar to the interactions you have here. She was eventually banned, and subsequently lost her legal cases, being declared a vexatious litigant in the process, but she continued to post on the Internet and show that she was still a loon. After her husband killed himself in front of her, she drastically cut her Internet usage down. What was seen and spoken of here began to show signs that she was legitimately doing things to improve her life. Granted, we don't know for sure that she isn't still a complete loon, but the peeks we have can be interpreted positively if one is inclined to do so.
This the the model that I would recommend for you, Nikki. Cut off the supply of milk that you provide us. We are assholes. We are not people who are looking out for your best interest. We are here to laugh at people who fuck up their lives, and even the lives of those around them. I am an asshole, and I am here in this thread to laugh at Styx. The addition of the various women he has managed to stick his dick into has been a blessing and a curse. It has been a blessing to get further insight into the shit-show, and additional content, but a curse in that it has shown how damaged people can be, and despite me being an asshole, I hate seeing damaged people. I have seen enough damaged people in my real life, and laughing at damaged people over the Internet is a sort of coping mechanism. I know there are other people here that feel similarly to me, that we want our entertainment, but if a lolcow can stop being a lolcow, we are happy to see it (though we may not want to say it here).
Some people in this thread have given you legitimately good advice. You seem to have poor taste in male companions. You have recognized this, but do not appear to be doing what needs to be done in order to change this. If you keep looking for the type of men that you have repeatedly found to be less than ideal partners in life, you will continue to find them, not the type of man you claim to want. That type of man probably does not want you as part of their life. You will need to change yourself to be desirable to that type of man. It will not be easy and you will fail, but do not give up and keep working on it. When you fail, and we learn of it, we will laugh at you. This will in turn lead to you giving up on doing the work that needs to be done. This is one of the reasons you should stop giving us milk. Melinda stopped giving us milk and we have continued to exist as the assholes that we are, by finding other lolcows to continue to milk for laughs. I would like to see this for you, and the only way that can happen is if we stop seeing you make the mistakes that you will make.
Anyway, that's enough of me being a moralfag, and I look forward to the neg-votes I'll get for this.