🗑️ Trashfire StyxHexenhammer666 / Tarl Warwick - Oddball Occultist Neckbeard (who can make some interesting content) + his many scorned exes

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Humble Architect said:
We need multiple, for a “Smokin Aces” scenario, where just as insane people hunt a fey pirate.

There is simply no such thing as a “normal bounty hunter”
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We could get Abraham Lincoln Vampirate (bounty) hunter
General Insomnia said:
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Rutland County is, of course, well known for firebombing children and chattel slavery.
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Wasn't tard telling usnin the not so distant past Q was letting us know daddy orange man was saving us from eternal hell fire?

Guess there was an explicit exemption about Tarls butt hole.
Godmode said:
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If the justice system was infallible you would already be locked up instead you are prowling the streets of New York finger blasting a potato.
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There is only 1 true potato and she is my queen my angel may she rest in vegetation

MAMA JF ❤️
 
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>be me, a gay pirate warlock
>enter into demonic pact with a homosexual owl
>use magic powers to wish for a monkey's paw, gaming the system because I'm so smart
>wish for booze, money, and eternal plunder and booty
>drink all the booze because I'm a badass cool guy, spend the money on more booze
>get punched in the face by some hole, whatever
>drunkenly fire my flintlock kind of near someone, no big deal, happens all the time
>cops come, throw me in the stockade
>judge tells me to show up for court, gay pirate magic doesn't work here
>"whatever, asshole" I say to myself, out loud
>forget to show up for court because I'm drunk, fuck 'em anyway, damn tyrants
>bounty hunter tracks me down and drags me to jail
>get convicted in court of piracy, sodomy, libertarianism, and consorting with demonic entities
>sent to the clink but it's okay, I'm still a formidable practitioner of the dark arts
>gay pirate magic doesn't work on niggers in the slammer
>"u got a purty mouth" says Tyrone, sensually
>the realization finally dawns on me that the booty is my ass and the eternal plunder is, oh no-
>monkey's paw uncurls, demonic laughter
 
Liquid Repugnance said:
The only thing that can get him out of this is to repent for his sins and accept his lord and savior Jesus Christ into his heart and dedicate his life to serving the lord god.
But he wont cause lol demons r liek totes cool n stuff n he got his le epic bird husband wife thing reddit upvote!!!!! epic witchcraft!!!!!!
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I can't believe I used to kinda like the guy.
 
W@rui said:
Speaking of which, saw this on Twitter:

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That’s fantastic. Ok, can we make this a futures market so we can bet on how long Styx can make it on the run? How do we get a Polymarket listing? And how do we stop Tarl from profiting off of it since he can essentially make sure he delivers whatever he predicted? (ie biggest payout is Styx getting away for two weeks, so Styx bets that and then turns himself in on the two week mark).
 
As someone who's been around more fuck ups that I would have preferred, Sthyx is really fucking himself here. Were talking about domestic violence, firearms violations, serious alcohol issues. This man is a spineless faggot as we all know, but this is very dangerous behavior and the courts don't fuck around with this shit. His skin isn't the right color to get kid gloves here. Add on to the fact that he skipped out on court and left the state once they get him he's going to get a hefty bail I doubt he'll be able to make. He's showing no remorse for his actions, no desire to change. Talking like an absolute faggot online. No state wants a domestic abuser who pops off rounds to intimidate his victim, they will extradite his ass for sure.

@Doug S has the only possible route he could possibly smooth this out, get in to rehab, NOW. And with this loser's level of alcoholism he's going to need detox which really fucking sucks, but best to do it in a medical facility they'll treat your symptoms rather than jail where they'll wait until you have a seizure in Delerium Tremens to dose you with the tiniest amount of Librium they can get away with to stop the next one. You will be put in a medical pod in a turtle suit, no privileges, no canteen, nothing. It's worse than the hole, trust me. With no TV, no radio, 23 hour lockdown, 1 man rec which consists of pacing around the subpod it will be the most brutal reckoning you've ever faced in your life. And they make it extremely difficult to kill yourself.

Grow the fuck up faggot, and do it fast. I've seen it and lived it myself, even though I think you're a pathetic man child bum I wouldn't wish that shit on my worst enemy. Stop being such a coward and put this shit behind you. You may have already turned a minor setback in to a life ruining fuck up.

Please Tarl, seriously get your ass in to rehab, and not some bullshit IOP. You need detox followed by residential. You can worry about aftercare once you get to prison.

Or don't, you're a slider man, black magic, midichlorians, tampons, and owls. It will be funny to see the teeth fly out your maw when you get smacked with the long dick of the law.
 
Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang said:
>monkey's paw uncurls, demonic laughter
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The final wish for those who possessed the monkey's paw was usually just to die.

Imagine Tarl thinking he would be the one to use demonic magic to his own advantage after greater men have tried, and always failed. His story is actually the PERFECT cautionary tale for occultists/luciferians, Even the ones who don't believe in any higher power but themselves.

Demons have an intellect that puts our greatest quantum computers to shame. They never age, never die, have a type of patience that allows them to sit and wait in the shadows for someone's great grandchild to turn 18 so they can begin collecting on the generational curse. And above all else, they hate human beings more than you could ever fathom hating your worst enemy.

Do you even have a wish left Tarl?
 
inconel said:
And with this loser's level of alcoholism he's going to need detox which really fucking sucks, but best to do it in a medical facility they'll treat your symptoms rather than jail where they'll wait until you have a seizure in Delerium Tremens to dose you with the tiniest amount of Librium they can get away with to stop the next one.
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Oh he’ll die if he detoxes in jail. 100%

Edit: If he was in some big city then I’d say the likelihood of him dying by detox in jail is slim. And by big city I mean like Baltimore size or larger. What town is he in?

And I agree on the rest.
 
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Malikov said:
Tarl may try to get to Canada (with Mel tagging along) and hide out in JFs igloo.

A few days from now Tarl and JF could be spit roasting a sped.
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And a few days after that we'll see JF wearing his HAZMAT suit again, spring cleaning.
 
Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang said:
View attachment 8648228

>be me, a gay pirate warlock
>enter into demonic pact with a homosexual owl
>use magic powers to wish for a monkey's paw, gaming the system because I'm so smart
>wish for booze, money, and eternal plunder and booty
>drink all the booze because I'm a badass cool guy, spend the money on more booze
>get punched in the face by some hole, whatever
>drunkenly fire my flintlock kind of near someone, no big deal, happens all the time
>cops come, throw me in the stockade
>judge tells me to show up for court, gay pirate magic doesn't work here
>"whatever, asshole" I say to myself, out loud
>forget to show up for court because I'm drunk, fuck 'em anyway, damn tyrants
>bounty hunter tracks me down and drags me to jail
>get convicted in court of piracy, sodomy, libertarianism, and consorting with demonic entities
>sent to the clink but it's okay, I'm still a formidable practitioner of the dark arts
>gay pirate magic doesn't work on niggers in the slammer
>"u got a purty mouth" says Tyrone, sensually
>the realization finally dawns on me that the booty is my ass and the eternal plunder is, oh no-
>monkey's paw uncurls, demonic laughter
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>Endgame. Try and get key from dog. Fail every time
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