🗑️ Trashfire StyxHexenhammer666 / Tarl Warwick - Oddball Occultist Neckbeard (who can make some interesting content) + his many scorned exes

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@Styxhexenhammer666

Title: "Owl God Blues (No-Show Tarl)"

(Verse 1)
In the shadows of Vermont, where the pine trees weep,
Lives a wizard named Tarl, puttin' spells on the cheap.
He bows to the owl god, Moloch on his shelf,
Sacrificin' logic, screamin' "666 myself!"
(Chorus)
Ohhh, hoot hoot, praise the bird with the thousand-yard stare!
Tarl's got an owl fetish, feathers everywhere!
Skipped court like a boss, now the warrant's in play,
$2500 fine, but he's too broke to pay!
Owl god, owl god, why'd you leave him this way?
'Cause Tarl Warwick's a dumbass, every single day!
(Verse 2)
He flew to Amsterdam, snagged a Dutch wife so fine,
Thought occult romance would make his channel shine.
But the magic wore off, the ring disappeared quick,
Now she's back in the Netherlands, callin' him a prick.
(Bridge – spoken like a dramatic Styx rant)
"Fellow travelers... the owl... it speaks to me...
Chaos magic says skip the hearing, set your spirit free!
Wife? What wife? Baby? Nah, that's someone else's seed...
I'm a sovereign citizen of the astral plane, indeed!"
(Chorus – louder, with bad falsetto)
Ohhh, hoot hoot, worship the owl in the tree!
Left his Dutch queen cryin', now he's loser royalty!
No-show in Rutland, bench warrant supreme,
$2500 richer in fines, livin' the meme!
Owl god, owl god, grant him one more plea—
But Tarl Warwick's a dumbass, can't you see?!
(Outro – fading into awkward yodeling)
So light your black candles, pour one out for the fail,
Tarl's still rantin' 'bout elites while he's out on bail.
From Vermont to the void, his legend lives on...
As the owl-god no-show, forever a moron!
Hoot hoot, dumbass... hoot hoot. 🦉

 
That would be the most funniest irony known to man.

WELCOME TO THE RALPHAMALE EFFECT BISH! YEAH!
 

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Nig Nog Neanderthal said:
He said at about the time his laptop "broke" that he was headed back to Vermont. While we aren't sure where he is, this indicates some awareness of the need to be in Rutland, presumably for court.

I think he's dimmed his online profile and is arrogantly trying to manipulate everyone. I also think he's avoidant as fuck. He's frightened as a girl about the piss tests, among other things.

Styx is not a man; he's a quivering Boston cream pie.
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You have to remember that he constantly brags about being smarter than everyone in that arrogant theatre kid voice. If he announced that he is going back to Vermont, it means he really is somewhere else and not in Vermont. He thinks we are too stupid to know what he is doing. He will most likely spend the next few weeks slipping in faux location details on X, thinking people will automatically believe he is where he is dropping clues about. He views this whole ordeal as some kind of challenge to his superior intellect in outsmarting the Man.
 
Mr. Manchester said:
What's crazy to me is that if he was doing goofy shit like this for some non-violent offence with a non-violent record he still might be able to tard around and get slaps on the wrist. This is shit related to a battery charge/conviction, shooting a gun and breaking a restraining order against an ex that he's battered before. Now he's ran off and his saying insane shit on his x account.
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Well I’m starting to think the guy who dresses like a pirate, performs “magic” with period blood, and says he never wants to grow up might not have good reasoning skills. Especially when all he’s doing on the run is probably drinking and tweeting.

Not sure what his gameplan is other than childlike antics that’ll piss off the court more. At least the casino boys will be eating good.
 
White Christmas said:
You have to remember that he constantly brags about being smarter than everyone in that arrogant theatre kid voice. If he announced that he is going back to Vermont, it means he really is somewhere else and not in Vermont. He thinks we are too stupid to know what he is doing. He will most likely spend the next few weeks slipping in faux location details on X, thinking people will automatically believe he is where he is dropping clues about. He views this whole ordeal as some kind of challenge to his superior intellect in outsmarting the Man.
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He thinks that because he does drugs that he's the intellectual drug-head, who knows, maybe Tarl thinks that the government MKUltra'd him into taking substances and leaving his wife and child. Lmao. Lmao. Wow.
 
W@rui said:
I love lolcows so much; not a lick of self-awareness in any of them.
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I agree with your sentiment. In Tarl's case, it was really noticeable about 1.5 years ago when Kino Casino began doing segments about him. He'd say, multiple times over several videos, " I don't understand! Why is PPP going after me like this? I never did anything to him!" , seemingly completely unable to piece together PPP was commenting about him based on some videos where Tarl exhibited very bad public behavior. I thought at the time, " damn, how can someone not see how their bad behavior would lead to being joked about like this?" which I guessed was the most extreme lack of self awareness I had ever witnessed. Then later, I'd assumed it was a combination of lack of self awareness AND brain damage from alcohol abuse causing synapse misfiring in his brain where he can't piece two and two together. Really amazing.
 
anscochrome said:
I agree with your sentiment. In Tarl's case, it was really noticeable about 1.5 years ago when Kino Casino began doing segments about him. He'd say, multiple times over several videos, " I don't understand! Why is PPP going after me like this? I never did anything to him!" , seemingly completely unable to piece together PPP was commenting about him based on some videos where Tarl exhibited very bad public behavior. I thought at the time, " damn, how can someone not see how their bad behavior would lead to being joked about like this?" which I guessed was the most extreme lack of self awareness * had ever witnessed. Then later, I'd assumed it was a combination of lack of self awareness AND brain damage from alcohol abuse causing synapse misfiring in his brain where he can't piece two and two together. Really amazing.
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Yeah, that's where I lost interest in his takes. I did enjoy watching his streams in the early 2020's but after he moved back from the Netherlands things, progressively, kept feeling off.
 
AncientPhosphur said:
Well I’m starting to think the guy who dresses like a pirate, performs “magic” with period blood, and says he never wants to grow up might not have good reasoning skills. Especially when all he’s doing on the run is probably drinking and tweeting.

Not sure what his gameplan is other than childlike antics that’ll piss off the court more. At least the casino boys will be eating good.
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"Drinking and tweeting"
Now we know why he was on Jer the pear's Livestream in the first place, same hobby
 
I don't think will be getting the much anticipated conclusion to the Nutty Norman trilogy!
 
Ghostface Killah said:
Suicide by cop. Calling it now.
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Chances improving! If he does I think it will be a sort of LARP-ing suicide by cop, like delusionally thinking they won't respond to him waving his pirate cutlass cheap machete as his last thought before his brain matter sprays out of the back of his head.
 
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