🗑️ Trashfire StyxHexenhammer666 / Tarl Warwick - Oddball Occultist Neckbeard (who can make some interesting content) + his many scorned exes

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Tarl's magic is weak and not of concern. However I will make sure to use my magic and cast a circle of protection around everyone here in the thread just to be extra safe. TMDWU
 
monk said:
I think he fried his brain when he smoked spice in the bathtub and nearly drowned. I'm not joking, he said that actually happened in a video a long time ago.
edit:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=vairkEHzNN4
Legal Weed is not Safe [vairkEHzNN4].mp4
tl;dw: I misremembered, he went psychotic in the shower, started seizing and spazzing out, he had insane thoughts and hallucinations, he thought he had literally turned into water, his dad found him and took him to hospital, he spent some time in the psych ward, he still doesn't feel normal (that was at least 14 years ago)
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"The fact that I'm not blind or braindead at this point is actually kinda amazing" well.......Blind, sure, even with those coke-bottle glasses, but not brain-dead? Eh, let's not get too comfortable......
 
Disdainer of the Plebs said:
Oh hey, you’re finally awake. How’s the hangover, bud?

Let the sperging continue!
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♪ I’m sittin’ in my bathtub, feelin’ kinda weird
Got a bag of legal spice from a guy with a beard
He said “This stuff’s the truth, it’ll open up your mind!”
Now the walls are breathing and I’m losin’ track of time

I’m ridin’ on the K2, I’m floatin’ like a sub
Styx Hexenhammer doin’ spice in the tub!
The candles are all have faces, they’re laughin’ at my hair
I try to cast a sigil but there’s bubbles everywhere

♪ Come sail away with meeee…
On a cloud of synthetic weed
Come sail away, come sail away
Come sail away with meeee…
(While I cough up a lung into the suds)

My tarot deck’s all soggy, the Tower card just winked
The bath salts turned to demons and the demons smell like feet
I’m arguing with Crowley, he’s mad I used too much
He says “Kid, you’re not enlightened, you’re just Dutch”

I’m higher than the ceiling, I’m lower than the drain
Styx Hexenhammer lost his mind again!
The rubber duck is preaching about the coming Age of Mars
I nod like I understand while I count the floating stars

♪ Come sail away with meeee…
To the land of cotton-mouth and fear
Come sail away, come sail away
Come sail away… right here
(In this lukewarm cauldron of regret)

I see the future clearly: it’s me wrapped in a towel
Screaming about chemtrails to a disappointed owl
The spice is finally fading, the tub is getting cold
And tomorrow I’ll deny this ever happened, I’ve been told

But tonight I’m a wizard, I’m the king of the porcelain throne
Styx Hexenhammer, forever alone
With a lungful of parsley and a head full of dread
Pass the Fabergé egg, man… I think the aliens are dead

♪ Come sail away… come sail away…
Come sail away… with meeeeeeeee
(Splash)
…Send help. The loofah just challenged me to ritual combat.
 
Vapid_Idiot said:
Tarl, did Pete Hegseth commit war crimes by blowing up brown people in international waters? If you could drone strike any of your exes, which ones and why?
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He did not commit war crimes because the vessels are invaders from a hostile nation.

I would never launch a drone strike on any ex of mine. People should be left alone.
 
Styxhexenhammer666 said:
Keep simping and she might even open her legs for you! Prepare to be relatively unimpressed.
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So it’s a pretty bad hangover, got it. Maybe you should take some ibuprofen.

Make no mistake, big chief: I want nothing to do with your nasty used up skanks. I’m here to antagonize you.

Because it’s funny.
 
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Rape Ape said:
♪ I’m sittin’ in my bathtub, feelin’ kinda weird
Got a bag of legal spice from a guy with a beard
He said “This stuff’s the truth, it’ll open up your mind!”
Now the walls are breathing and I’m losin’ track of time

I’m ridin’ on the K2, I’m floatin’ like a sub
Styx Hexenhammer doin’ spice in the tub!
The candles are all have faces, they’re laughin’ at my hair
I try to cast a sigil but there’s bubbles everywhere

♪ Come sail away with meeee…
On a cloud of synthetic weed
Come sail away, come sail away
Come sail away with meeee…
(While I cough up a lung into the suds)

My tarot deck’s all soggy, the Tower card just winked
The bath salts turned to demons and the demons smell like feet
I’m arguing with Crowley, he’s mad I used too much
He says “Kid, you’re not enlightened, you’re just Dutch”

I’m higher than the ceiling, I’m lower than the drain
Styx Hexenhammer lost his mind again!
The rubber duck is preaching about the coming Age of Mars
I nod like I understand while I count the floating stars

♪ Come sail away with meeee…
To the land of cotton-mouth and fear
Come sail away, come sail away
Come sail away… right here
(In this lukewarm cauldron of regret)

I see the future clearly: it’s me wrapped in a towel
Screaming about chemtrails to a disappointed owl
The spice is finally fading, the tub is getting cold
And tomorrow I’ll deny this ever happened, I’ve been told

But tonight I’m a wizard, I’m the king of the porcelain throne
Styx Hexenhammer, forever alone
With a lungful of parsley and a head full of dread
Pass the Fabergé egg, man… I think the aliens are dead

♪ Come sail away… come sail away…
Come sail away… with meeeeeeeee
(Splash)
…Send help. The loofah just challenged me to ritual combat.
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I totally heard that in my head to the tune of The Rockpile's "Shake and Pop."
 
Chazzed Up said:
Wow it's not every day you get live stalker child posting in a thread from the POI. Christmas came early.
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This is the third time I've experienced it this year alone. It's funny every single time to watch a lolcow sperg in their own thread live. It happened with Zoey, Fallen Chungus, and now Styx.
 
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